Where do I go from here ?

[snowyowl70]

Long story but went to C of E primary school and at age approx 11 started to be more curious about faith and attended a welcoming Methodist church. In my teens got involved in beach missions and met very traditional evangelicals who didn't see women in leadership roles. Married one of the latter types and duly played the role of helper to my super spiritual husband who shortly after we started a family gave up on the Church thing largely. Result I struggled on my own with two young children going along to the same church fielding questions each week as to where he was - end result was I didn't go to Church at all as felt my husbands "backsliding" was somehow partly my fault and got fed up of making apologies for his absence. Then about 3 years ago my DD1 wanted to go to church so I readily took my kids (3 of them by now) along - again on my own. DH has been along infrequently and sort of got used to it just being me and the kids. Now DD1 at 18 has decided she cannot belong to an organisation where women are treated as inferior beings and should just be nice, stay at home wives/mothers . I have to agree with her that I am not happy about it and am now questioning whether I want my DD2 - age 8 to be brought up in that environment. So where do I go from here ? My faith has been sorely tested not least due to my DH having upset me terribly by being caught sending inappropriate texts to another women - I felt I kept my end of the bargain and now I am left feeling hurt by DH and religion but I feel my faith is part of me. How can I find a new church that won't expect me to have DH in tow each week, that will treat women as equal in Gods sight or am I just hoping to find something that isn't there ?? Sorry for the long post !

Mrsmiggins we will have to agree to disagree, the idea that by teaching a child that there is no God you are doing the best for them is not something I can agree with.

Certainly some fundamentalist groups of all religions can be harmful. I do not include myself in this group.

But of course we are all entitled to our opinions. Thankfully we do not live in a society that forces religious faith on anyone, or denys people religious faith - as we did of old, or places like North Korea now where people of faith (and anyone of differing opinions to the ruling group) can suffer prison, torture and death.

It is sad that people may feel that teaching our children our faith and allowing them to make their own choices is in any way cruel or wrong. I do not feel it is. In fact for me to know the joy of knowing the Lord and not sharing it with my child would be very cruel indeed. Ultimately, it is how we allow our chidlren to develop and grow that makes a huge difference to them ... and of course how we love them. Thankfully in this country we have the freedom to pass on our beliefs about the world to our children.

Yes we will have to disagree. But I have seen the fallout with my own eyes. I have a family member who feels her young mind was abused by being brought up in faith. Now an academic she has struggled for years with the shackles that religion bound her in while she was young and vulnerable.
Making an inntelectual decision to become an athiest was the easy bit- it's the emotion garbage that she still struggles with 38 years later.
And she feels abused and manipulated and has told her mother so.
Her mind wasn't for others to do the claiming- yet they did.

I am all for religious frreedom but please don't damage our children because you happen to think you are so right and have the truth.

Religion disguts me.

msmiggins - The flip side of course is that huge numbers of people have experienced a lifetime of immense happiness, joy and fulfillment because they were brought up with faith as children.
Equally I know many people brought up with faith who chose not to follow it in later life and have no problems whatsoever with "shackles" or "emotion garbage"

Major hijack, mrsmiggins - back off and start your own thread.

Back to the OP: your husband sounds like a shit I'm afraid. He's certainly put you through it - doesn't like women being equal? inappropriately texting another woman? Don't like the sound of him much tbh.

The people at the church could possibly be commiserating with you - they probably remember him being 'zealous' ( ) and it's a 'shame he isn't any more' (they can probably see the effect his shenanigans behaviour has had on you, at least practically). Whatever, it's time they let it go and learnt to shut up.

There are plenty of churches that support the equality of women. Perhaps a clean slate would give you the chance to explore your own faith without being dragged down by your husband history.

Hi everyone,

We just wanted to remind you that whilst we welcome robust debate, we ask everyone to remain respectful of each other's beliefs, whatever they may be.