Evangelical Christianity - Is it just me who's mystified?

[TenthMuse]

I’m new to this forum, but I’ve read through some of the threads and am really impressed by the thoughtful discussions that have taken place here. I’ve taken the leap to posting myself because I have some issues with Christianity (specifically evangelical Christianity) that I’ve been wondering about, and was hoping others would share their thoughts.

I come from a non-religious background, but have always been spiritually curious. At university I spent a lot of time with some evangelical Christians who were involved in the CU. I started attending church regularly, went to Soul Survivor, did an Alpha course etc. At the time I found my friends’ all-consuming faith very attractive, if a bit mystifying - university can be an intense time, and I guess this was part of it. But I have to say that, in spite of my experiences, I never really ‘got’ evangelical Christianity. Since university I’ve drifted apart from my Christian friends and gradually stopped attending church. I wouldn’t describe myself as an atheist, exactly, but I’ve returned to my default agnostic position and don’t feel like I ever fully ‘signed up’ to Christianity in the same way that my friends obviously had. I do miss the sense of community, and feel somewhat spiritually unfulfilled, but have come to realise that I just can’t cope with the kind of unthinking religious devotion that I felt was being asked of me.

Here’s the gist of what I struggled with: In contrast to many others, I’ve never had an intellectual problem with accepting the idea of God. I can fully accept that science doesn’t have all the answers. But I do have a massive problem with the unquestioning, anti-intellectual nature of the form of Christianity I encountered. It might just my own experience, but both at university and at my local church the obsession with ‘Bible-based teaching’ meant that every argument was circular – you raised a difficult question, and the answer was always ‘because the Bible says so’ - but if you’re not convinced that the Bible is indeed the word of God, it’s pretty hard to accept some of the teaching within it, particularly the stuff about gender and sexuality that liberal-minded people regard as outdated. I tend to think very deeply about things because I don’t want to live a blinkered ‘unexamined life’, but it occurs to me that that’s exactly what many evangelical Christians are doing.

Then there were the cultural aspects that seemed so alien to me: the getting married straight after university to the first half-decent person you’d clapped eyes on (a friend on my corridor met her future husband on the first night of Freshers’ Week but they didn’t kiss until they got engaged; another friend moved abroad because he felt that God was ‘calling him’ to marry someone foreign); the awkward ‘elephant in the room’ approach to homosexuality; the ambiguous position of women within the church (‘Yes, of course they’re equally important, but we couldn’t possibly have a female president of the CU!’) and the charismatic style of worship (Soul Survivor etc), which sometimes felt dangerously close to brainwashing.

Are most churches really like this, or were those I’ve encountered just at the extreme end of things? Does all religious belief really have to be quite so ‘all or nothing’? Are there any churches out there that have a more liberal, accepting belief system than those I’ve come across? The ones near me either seem to be vibrant and growing but deeply conservative in outlook, or old-school liberal CofE with dwindling elderly congregations. I’ve often wondered whether I am simply more cynical and less suggestible that my Christian friends, and whether the fact I didn’t have a Christian upbringing means that I’m just not equipped for religious faith in the same way they are. Interestingly, DP, who I actually met at church but whose upbringing was also non-religious, is in a similar boat; in recent years he’s become increasingly ambivalent towards religion, and now sees evangelical Christianity as potentially dangerous. Any thoughts on any of on this are most welcome, as I'm still trying to get my head round it all!

I think the combination of the "utter committment" of evangelical belief, together with the intensity of university life (people in their late teens 'finding' or 'reinventing' themselves, looking for certainty in a big scary world) means that CUs can be amongst the most "all or nothing" religious groups you will ever encounter.

Certainly as a wishy-washy liberal Christian I always found them pretty extreme, and I haven't been in a church like them since (and I've been in quite a few churches over the years!)

If you want to go to church, then keep looking, in your area and further afield. And if you haven't already, try out other denominations as well as CofE - eg Baptists or Methodists - and see if they are more like what you actually believe.

Or, go along to the old liberal ones and reduce the average age...

You don't have to check in your brain as you go into the building, but some congregations seem to prefer if you do, so it's a matter of finding one more on your wavelength.

Or, well, not - you don't have to go to church if you don't think you can do it without being a total hypocrite.

Thanks AMumInScotland for the reassurance! I'm pretty wishy-washy and liberal myself, and I think maybe because my only experiences of church have been my intense experiences at university and the half-hearted 'we're only here to get our kids into the CofE school' one of local churches, I was starting to feel that that's all that's all that's out there!

I think I would definitely like to attend church, but a laid-back, tolerant one, ideally with people of my own age (I'm early thirties, no kids yet). The only ones with youngish congregations locally are the evangelical ones, so I agree that I might have to start looking further afield.

Recently the 'church' that has appealed to be most in terms of being welcoming and community-based is the Sunday Service - but that's a godless church, and I'm after something with a religious element, albeit a liberal wishy-washy one!

They are out there - but you often have to look around! If you are in range of a cathedral, you might find that more what you are looking for - by nature they tend to pull in people from a wider area, though it may not have the same 'community' feel as a parish church that tends to be local'. It does vary, though.

You could try putting a thread on here for a particular town/area and see if anyone can recommend one. Or look at the 'Ship of Fools' website and see what they say about ones in your area.

FWIW I came out of university convinced that whatever it was I believed in, it couldn't possibly be Christianity, because of the attitudes of some very evangelical CU types who were of the dogmatic 'Believe everything the Bible says or you'll burn in Hell' variety. They didn't think I was a Christian, and I assumed they were the ones who would know.

It took a while for me to start going to church again, but I found there was a lot of variety out there when I started looking. You probably won't find one that is a perfect match, but you should be able to find one that you have enough in common with.

I wonder if some people find a relief and security in not questioning when they buy into a whole package like that. It is clearly not for you. Like AMumInScotland has said, there are many different denominations out there and plenty of variation between churches within the same denomination.

It seems to come up over and over again here where someone is struggling with their beliefs but don't want to lose the community of their church. I think if you have a questioning attitude to spirituality you can sometimes find yourself on a lonely path at times. I wonder if the Quakers might suit you? They do not have a set doctrine that you have to believe in - you can even be an atheist! You can have the support of a faith community without having to compromise your beliefs, and it can give you the space to find out what those beliefs are. There are a few Quakers on here who can give you more info or have a look at this.

Take some time to explore and see what resonates with you.

I also struggle with the anti intellectualism of some of the evangelical churches. I had been brought up in a liberal and academic church so it was a bit of a shock to discover Christians who wanted you to leave your brain at the door.

As AMumInScotland says www.ship-of-fools.com is a good place to look as they have a mystery worshipper section that has reviews of churches so you might get an idea of what is in your area.

Hello OP.

I think there are different branches of evangelicalism, and it's a shame that they are often banded together as unthinking, anti-intellectual, brainwashing and extreme. Now, I have come across such, and share some of your concerns about extreme conservative evangelicalism, who I believe sometimes use the bible in a dangerous way to back up their own arguments (specifically re women, homosexuality etc etc). However, there is a branch more known as open evangelicalism, who embrace certain aspects and see faith as all consuming, but bring questioning and an open view to it, often studying in great depth to find out about why certain things were written in certain ways in the bible, in order to give a balanced view now.

Charismatic churches can be either or. Usually, the more conservative evangelical, the less charismatic - they can in fact be deeply suspicious of anything to do with the Holy Spirit - but you can get some on the extreme end of the spectrum - so conservative evangelical charismatic. (sorry if this is getting confusing - I'm confusing myself ) - which sounds like the sort of stuff you came across at uni. (Not all uni CUs like this btw - mine was very open and questioning) In the same way, you can get some very high churches that are also charismatic, but in general a lot of more open evangelical middle-of-the-road churches are more open to this type of thing.

I'm saying this in order to ask that you don't discount the whole evangelical thing as one mass of a certain type. I know what you mean though, and I am increasingly reluctant to describe myself as evangelical because of negative connotations which have come from churches you describe. However, I am of the belief that one can be of an evangelical persuasion while also questioning deeply - I have found that my faith is intellectually robust, while also being all consuming in terms of being highly important and being life changing - and going back to the meaning of the word evangelical, something worth sharing (for those who would like to have it shared with) :)

I know that the charismatic side of it can just look odd, frankly, and can be abused and used in a less than helpful way, unfortunately. But it can also be held as a position by someone who thinks. A lot. I have a large group of friends and acquaintances who are more of this way of thinking - people who |I respect and who are often of a much higher intelligence than I (think scientific pHDs etc etc) - it's not a mutually exclusive position to think out faith and hold an evangelical charismatic view.

You might like to read some stuff by Rob Bell and Brian McLaren who would describe themselves more as 'post evangelical' as they have come to wish to disassociate themselves from the word due to the connotations people place on it, particularly concerning American Christianity, where evangelicalism can mean something even worse

Hi tenth. An ex Christian here. I went to a lot of churches during my faith and the least 'in your face' were the CofE.

I do have a sort of strange respect for the evangelicals though as, after all, if you actually thought it was real you'd be evangelical which makes me think the wishy washy types are probably just further down the agnostic scale of belief. Jesus was quite clear that Christianity wasn't something 'for you' it was about proselytising, a live/eat/sleep way of life.

When I lost my faith I realised I didn't need to lose what I loved about it, caring for those less fortunate and those that get looked over in society. I subsequently realise that those elements of Christianity are elements of humanity.

And yes, clearly any belief in something without evidence can be dangerous but even most Fundies have the sense to visit the Dr when they're unwell alongside the whole tongues and fainting theatrics.