I can't identify with your experience, as a lifelong atheist, but I hope speaking from this side of things, I can reassure you. Having no god/religious belief doesn't have to be lonely or non-spiritual.
In fact I think it is far more amazing, gratifying and mindblowing to look at the universe as a wonder of science - that is far more beautiful to me than to think that someone all-powerful (so who could just do anything they liked anyway) just made it.
And it is far more valuable to me that so many people are simply good and kind because it's in their hearts, rather than because of some teachings about what you have to do to get to heaven.
You can still go to church if you like, if you enjoy the company, singing, the beauty of the building, the rituals or whatever. I very much think that quite a few people who go to church don't actually believe (and possibly some who are in senior positions in the church - after all once it's someone's career, it may not be that easy to walk away even after a situation like yours, which statistically must happen to some of them).
If there is a "way forward", I think it is to seek goodness, beauty, enlightenment and all that is rewarding, for its own sake and for the sake of human happiness, while we are here.