How to find the right church?

[justgotquestions]

I don't know if I am looking for something that just doesn't exist! :/

I really want to join a church as I think I have got a bit stuck in a rut with my faith on my own. My family aren't church goers and don't share my faith in God so I am lacking in Christians to talk to. I mean I am on forums but think joining a church would be good for me.

I am a bit old fashioned in my views and the churches I have been to seem a bit modern for me. I don't know how I ended up as I am as my family think I am some sort of throwback ....

So I like things like the Girlhood Home Companion (remembrancepress.com/?page_id=56), Keepers At Home (www.rainbowresource.com/product/Training+Our+Daughters+to+be+Keepers+at+Home/004418/048ef2d8f931012522b4ef41?subject=2&category=505), and sort of the old fashioned Biblical roles.

I have never met anyone in person who shares my views so I don't know if there is a church out there that would tick every box. Any idea which denomination to look into?

I dont think its so much the denomination, but more the local area, the local area i think will have more of an influence on how traditional/modern a church is. So for instance a C of E in Leyton, will probably be more modern than the same church up in a little Yorkshire village iyswim.

I'd try looking at the websites for local churches to get a feel for what they are like. I'd then try going along to a service or two at the ones that look interesting. You might not find the perfect church straight off and find you have to try several before you find one that you feel comfortable in.

I think the advice about trying a few different churches is good. I'm not absolutely clear on what you are looking for - are you looking for a traditional worship style as well as a congregation who share your views on Biblical gender roles?

Worship style is pretty easy to suss out from websites and single visits - it can be a bit more difficult to get a feel for how a church is on other issues sometimes without chatting to people. Looking at a back catalogue of sermons (a lot of churches put them on the web now) can be helpful in gauging this type of thing.

A good starting point for helping you find a suitable denomination might be to think about how you feel about female priests. If they don't fit with your views on Biblical roles then you could think about either visiting some Catholic churches, or you could have a look at Forward in Faith. This is the association for Church of England churches that are opposed to female clergy, and there is a list on the website of parishes "where those opposed to women priests can worship with confidence." I think it is probably a fair assumption that those parishes will be socially conservative on most issues.

I had a look at a couple of the websites you quoted and they are both American.

So it is going to be hard to find something in this country that exactly matches that.

Also, the things they mention are not specifically Christian, but have more to do with kind, ethical living. Now, I'm not saying that kind, ethical living is not what Christians do, of course it is. But there is more to being a Christian than living a kind and ethical life and this is what most churches would try to convey.

So if it is just the companionship you are looking for you could maybe also look at the Women's Institute or get involved in anything that is happening in your neighbourhood other than a church.

On the other hand if it is Christian worship you seek you will have to do as others have recommended and look what is available in the area.

Nothing will be 'perfect', every church is a community of 'sinners', not a congregation of perfect people, which personally I find a bit ofa comfort.

If you aren't comfortable with women in leadership and Forward in Faith don't have a local church (there aren't huge numbers of them) then you probably need to be looking for one of the more conservative protestant denominations. You could try some of the more conservative baptist churches or New Frontiers but there you may well find praise bands and worship songs. The same is true of Reform which is the more protestant end of the C of E. Our local one has a big audiotorium and very good bands so I don't really think it is likely to tick your boxes.

Your best bet may be to go to a few and see how they feel.

New frontiers churches are VERY modern in many ways, worship, style of service etc, although main leadership is men only, i dont think this will fit OP's criteria.

You might be better to try smaller local churches such as Brethren (? - not sure of their theology) or 'free evangelical'. It may take some looking around.

If you're prepared to say where you are OP we may be able to help with suggestions.

Brethren are very conservative so may well fit the bill. I don't know anything about their worship style. Independent evagelical may well be conservative enough but if the churches round here are anything to go by their worship style is praise bands.

It might be that the OP would like the Book of Common Prayer services as found in many C of E churches. It is protestant in theology, lovely old language and many churches still use it for their 8am services. The down side is that there tends to not be much in the way of community around the early morning services but there will not be any singing so there won't be any praise bands!

I think what the OP wants is a rare beast in the UK but trying a few local churches and working out what compromises can be made for the sake of joining a faithful Christian community may be better than holding out for what does not exist here.

I don't know how but my faith has turned out kind of American! I have a Mennonite pen pal and that appeals to me too.

Around me there isn't much choice - Catholic, C of E, Methodist, and some new church that seemed a bit hand clappy.

If we knew where you are one of us might be able to recommend something, but you probably don't want to be that public! I spent a few years in a reformed evangelical church which sounds a bit like what you are looking for. If you like you could always pm me and I could let you know if there is one near you.

You have to go to a church in your local area, so that's where you have to search.

If you are anti-women priests, you might be fortunate to find a church whose patron is the Church Society. The are fiercely evangelical and will not put forward any female candidate for incumbency. Their churches are straight-up 39 Articles. Their main service may be too modern for your taste, but they will probably have a quieter 1662 and Common Worship service too.

A warning - if you find the perfect church, don't go - you will surely spoil it!