Meditation - any 'experienced' types around to answer a question?

[HeroineChick]

This might sound odd, so apologies.

Lately I've gone through what I would probably describe as a mildly transformative time in terms of 'spiritual' awakening - but for no particular reason I can pinpoint. As an agnostic who has generally veered towards atheism it's been very odd to experience this pared-down, simple realisation of a sense something at the core of all the nothingness. Anyway.

For no particular reason other than the notion just came to me, I did some reading about how to mediate, settled on the principles of mindfulness meditation, and this morning I did a sitting meditation which has left me feeling vaguely freaked out.

Within a very short time of focusing on my breath and simply observing my thoughts, I came to a rippling dark void behind my eyes where even the fairly loud burble of my children playing in another room dimmed away. I had to pull myself away after maybe 5 (? I don't know) minutes here in this place of utter stillness and emptiness and I had tears streaming down my cheeks although I didn't feel sad, simply like I had finally got here after a lifetime away. I was woozy for a few minutes and couldn't quite 'come round'.

The point of this rambling tale is: how could I have not known this empty place of peace existed, and how could I get into such an altered state on my first 'try'? Am I deluding myself? I typed 'void + meditation' into google afterwards but a whole load of very odd stuff came up, including some satanic blogs

Please, someone help. I have no idea what I'm even asking. Just... is this 'normal' for meditation?

Bumpity bump

It sounds that you very easily reached a place of stillness and calm - it often takes a lot of practice to still the thoughts and cut out distractions to this point, so i wouldn't assume it will happen like that every time. There can be quite a lot of emotional release with meditation, not necessarily sadness, which may explain the tears.

If you were feeling wobbly afterwards you probably came out of the meditation too quickly. Take some time to just breath evenly before opening your eyes, and then move your body slowly - wiggle your fingers then your toes, then have a good stretch before getting up.

I know what you mean about the feeling of reaching somewhere you have been away from. Most people will have different experiences depending on the type of meditation and also preconceived ideas of what you may experience. My belief is that we exist in that space you experienced spiritually all the time, but our experience of it is obscured by the material world. So, while we may see it in slightly different ways we feel the same sense of stillness and belonging when we reach this point. Sorry if that is too much woo!

Maybe think about going to a group meditation where you can share your experiences and benefit from some guidance? Hope that helps with some of your questions.

Thanks for your reply; I really appreciate it! Feeling much less spooked by it all now and rather looking forward to continuing the process. I like the idea that we are all 'there' (wherever I was) but don't generally know it and I hope to explore that. I have come to the conclusion that feeling mildly panicked by the 'place' I visited kind of negates the whole point - I think I just didn't expect to drop into such a markedly altered state of mind quite so quickly.

Thanks for the tips about feeling wobbly afterwards. I'll try to take it easier next time. I hope to make it a daily thing if possible. And for the record, I enjoyed your 'woo'.

I've been meaning to answer you but it's been hectic in the Stripedmum household!

I am non woo but desperately need some woo in my life as have had bad back to back PND (well anxiety really).

Anyway after DS 2.5 years ago (had DD since then) was in a really bad place and was desperate for some peace of mind...so I tried meditation.

Anyway on one of my first 'goes' I had a really, really weird experience too that would have been lovely if I hadn't have got freaked out and 'come back'.

I basically felt overwhelming peace and 'at one' with everything. Something reassured me that everything would 'be okay' and I started having what I can only describe as orgasms throughout my body (ooh err!!!!).

Just very odd. I've never been 'back there' so it was perhaps beginners luck. I had focused on a candle flame and my breath.

Have you tried again?

X

Woo club member here having discovered the realm we are speaking of over 2 years ago...sounds like you experienced the profound and estatic state of Oneness as you merged with Unity Consciousness. Intense experience and the whole body orgasm is Kundalini arising. I personally believe there is a mass awakening happening and even those that have no previous history are feeling called to explore the transpersonal. Fear is natural as it is our way of trying to maintain control over what makes sense to us. And in that sentence lies all that might be known beyond and within us were we to relax our need for control over that which cannot be defined/demonstrated by the material senses.

Breathe deep, drink lots of water, rest well and listen to your intuition for it will guide you if you let it.

Someone likened the awakening process to birthing contractions and it is not only a perfect metaphor but ripe for MN! Consciousness is evolving and we are all at various stages of gestation.

May all roads lead us back Home!

P.s I had never meditated before my awakening but somehow just knew it was sometj

My 'worry' is that that this place is away from everyone I love. I know that sounds silly but if that's where we are headed - despite how blissful it is - I'd rather stick in my anxiety ridden nightmarish hell than be without my DH and DCs. Does that sound totally bonkers? Am I not grasping it properly?

Nessus - don't get me started on spirituality and childbirth. I had a really, really add experience (again despite the fact I'm non woo).

If it hadn't have been for drugs obscuring it both times I honestly believe it would have been far more pleasant.

It's why drugs at death scare me. I feel our bodies do 'something' at births and deaths that modern drugs obscure.

After a more natural labour with DD2 I had a strong sense that birth and death are the same.

I have such a pull toward all things natural but I'm just too lazy/busy/stressed to put my inclings into action.

• odd

Also re. meditation - I've never gone back there again but I have had other strange experiences. Like memories that seem like I could be living again (but benign experiences that I am shocked are still stored in my brain) and also when I'm stressed a spinning sensation which I've deduced is my body desperately trying to find centre again?

My 'worry' is that that this place is away from everyone I love.

Hi Stripedmum - I just wondered why you felt that this place meant separation? I think the experience you and op described is like the briefest snapshot of somewhere new. The fear and shock put an abrupt end to the experience. If you work with it you may find that it is the complete opposite of separation. It is a place where all is united.

I believe that we all exist in this place as well as the physical world, but our awareness of it is clouded by the material layers around us. I think this may fit with what you say about birth and death being the same thing - when we are born (or conceived) our spirit remains in this place but also associates with a body, when we die the association with the body ends but our spirit is still in the same place, so we don't actually go anywhere, we are there all ready, as are all the ones we love, and we are connected to them on a deeper level than we can ever experience in the physical world.

The place we are talking about is one of union, not of separation. If you persist with meditation you can begin to experience this for yourself, and see the world in a whole new way (not to mention manage your stress and anxiety!).

Mostly. Thank you :-) what a lovely, insightful response. Yes that's how it felt - total at oneness - but it really was a big shock!!! Maybe because I'm sooooooooo far away from it at the moment? I need to get a bit closer I think.

Sorry milkhell is my alter ego at the mo as going through a weaning nightmare! Ha! The above message was from Stripedmum

What could I add to MLL comment which is perfectly on point...

I. Not I. Here. There. Past. Present. Now.

Attachment is the bond (aint 'bond' a funny ol' word. So many different meaning of the word to experience before going 'Oh I get it'!)