Anyone brought up a Christian and now a different faith/nonbeliever?

[expatinscotland]

How do you break it to your family?

It's easier for me in that I'm thousands of miles away, but my sister is big time Catholic.

Do I just drop the subject?

My mum was talking on and on about christening DD2. It's not going to happen b/c that would require going to church and tbh I no longer see the point.

anyone, anyone?

my mum's thankfully just dropped the subject, but i know my sister won't.

i don't want to insult her beliefs by telling her i think it's all smoke and mirrors, tho.

I was brought up catholic, but my parents were never big church goers (only went in the summer because the church where we went on holidays is sumptuous!!!)
I don't believe and dd has not been christened.
I think they wish I had christened her but they would never say so, they respect my decision
I have a brother who converted to protestantism and goes to temple regularly, they're quite happy with it
I would simply tell them your decision and say that it's a private matter for you and your dh amd ten drop it for all eternity?

Yes.

My parents are C of E, but very involved in the church, and very committed. Both my brother and I are athiest, and pretty much rejected all religion from our teenage years. We were brought up to be sensitive enough not to force our disbelief on our families, and have lovely non judgemental parents, so it's never been a big problem.
I am not (nor will I ever be ) married, despite the 3 children. No one has even bothered to suggest christening.

Good plan, FG! Thanks. My parents just don't bring it up anymore. But my sis is another story.

She's always sending me religious emails and books. I just write thank you notes and take them all to charity. Fortunately, she only comes across once a year and when they do they stay in my parents' flat so they don't get to nose around our flat.

I know she'd be disappointed if I told her what I really thought. I just hope it never comes up. The distance helps.

that's a tough one, I can see you don't want to upset her. On the other hand, sending you this religious stuff you're not into is a little insensitive, isn't it?
Do you think you could just ignore it rather than send thank you notes?Or is that too harsh.
I know sometimes we have to put up with stuff when we love someone enough...

Did you Christen DD1?
I'd just tell her (your sister) that you have decided to let your DD make the decision for herself when she's older.

yes, jas. dd1 was christened in Church of Scotland, only b/c my FIL worked for the church as groundskeeper - they don't worship themselves.

I think you need to be honest. My cousin told lots of lies about why she didn't have her children baptised and I really think it was wrong as it left her family (particularly our grandmother) still hoping that they would one day. It was particularly cowardly of her to blame her local vicar when in fact it had nothing to do with him. If you have the courage of your convictions then you should be able to say so, but in a gentle, non-confrontational way - it gets it out of the way so everyone knows. You could explain that you would prefer not to recieve anything as it does not reflect your family's beliefs- maybe you could point out that she would feel equally uncomfortable about non- Catholic literature being sent to her. You may find your sister is very hurt but I think you can always keep the channels of communication open on your side. I am a Christian myself but on the fringes of the church - I would probably fail what most churches think I should believe. Tbh I find quite a lot of Christian literature offensive and wouldn't want it being sent to me.

Having said that, I really get p**d off with this, 'we're letting our child make up their own minds' if a parent has no intention allowing them to experience Christianity (or any other religion) equally with non-belief. My cousin used this line but wouldn't even allow her kids to go to the village church fete! They were firmly brought not to believe like their parents, which is fine, just as I am bringing up our children to believe - I just wish they were honest about it.