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Original poster

Going to Church.

14 replies

Smurfgirl · 30/04/2006 18:32

I have started going to Church again. Which is definately something I want to do, I do believe in God (I am a Christian) but I feel a bit unsure about which Church. I have been going to a Catholic Church recently and I like it. It gives meaning to my Sundays and its nice to have something just for myself.

I was brought up Catholic and believe in a lot of things my Church says, but also struggle with a lot of things. I have no issues with homosexuality or sex before marriage for example.

I am debating going to the Methodist Church near me one Sunday just to see, but I am scared of going somewhere where I don't know how the service works.

I am also not really into happy clappy services which rules out a lot of the churches near me. I don't mind lively worship though. I like the idea of belonging to a Church community and want to make my beliefs an integral part of my life.

I also want to get married in Church and so its important for me to actually attend! My DP is United Reform, but he doesn't really care.

I don't really know why I posted this, I am not sure what to do. Do you think I should try the Methodist Church? Please don't suggest that I take a friend so I am not alone none of my friends are interested. Do you think that there will always be issues with the denomination no matter what church I choose?

Thanks for any advice anyone can give.
___

OP posts:

scienceteacher · 30/04/2006 18:36

There's no substitute for just going along and seeing for yourself, as the atmosphere in most churches is really dependent on the actual characters involved.

They won't bite!

amber5 · 30/04/2006 18:45

I sporadically attend a methodist chapel and find it a more relaxed service and atmosphere than other dominations i have tried - and i have tried quite a few!!
They're not big on sex before marriage, alcohol, gambling... but not in a 'push-it-down-your-throat' way, imo. the foke at 'my' chapel were v friendly when i first went, many people made a point of introducing themselves to me and even tho i don't go often, they are still v welcoming.
i do think that each church is different tho; influenced by who's leading it and who attends etc...
why not give it a try? hope it works out for you.

Marina · 30/04/2006 18:50

Smurfgirl, it sounds as though you are already starting to feel comfortable with your local RC church. I can assure you there are plenty of Mners who go to mass and have no issues with homosexuality or sex before marriage either, so don't let that put you off.
But do also go along to the Methodist church too. It won't necessarily be happy-clappy and surely a measure of whether it is the right church for you will be how they welcome you as a first-timer.
You could also see if there is an Alpha course running locally - this aims to be a refresher or introduction to modern christianity, and to welcome people new to regular worship. Alpha varies widely in how it is run and was developed by a VERY happy clappy church in London, so you'd need to choose cautiously and ignore any tendency to evangelise.
I think it is a rare Christian who finds friends, fun, the right liturgy and spiritual solace all in one church, to be honest. But any sensible congregation should be very pleased to see you and make you feel welcome in a non-creepy sort of way. I returned to regular worship too when I got engaged, having not been a committed Christian for some years prior to that. I struck really lucky with my local church, which was lively socially, friendly to newcomers, and in the liberal Catholic tradition of the C of E (eg gay-friendly and great music and liturgy). Our marriage was a wonderful day and dh's confirmation and the dcs' baptisms afterwards also very moving and happy occasions.

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 30/04/2006 18:56

Marina, I have heard such bad things about alpha which has put me off. Its associated with our local vineyard which is v.happy clappy.

The RC church I attend has a nice mix of ages and is 5 minutes walking distance. When I attended Church before I moved away form home I was very much a part of the community so it is strange to feel a bit isolated from this Church kwim? It does take time though I know.

The Christian society at the uni is v.happy clappy. I am debating joing the CathSoc next year...

OP posts:

cod · 30/04/2006 18:59

methosdists are oftne very supportive of youth groups ime
too
our si svery dynamic and totally remodeelled the chirch years ago so its all flexible seating and meeting rooms

no set litrugy though iirc so it all abit talky prayer rather than a set routine

cod · 30/04/2006 18:59

sorry have cut finger tso typing sorse than ever

Original poster

Smurfgirl · 30/04/2006 19:03

Thanks for the info Cod. I am quite drawn to the methodist church for some reason v.different to my Catholic Church though. Seems very community friendly. By talky prayer what do you mean exactly? (sorry am very sheltered)

Also if anyone reads this. I won't be getting maried in the Church I attend because I don't live in the area I want to get married in. Will that matter as long as I attend Church regularly before, even if it is elsewhere.

OP posts:

scienceteacher · 30/04/2006 19:06

Extemporal rather than liturgical prayers?

Alpha is fab, btw. I've been associated with it for many years now, and it is not designed to be happy clappy. It's a meal, some teaching, and a discussion.

cod · 30/04/2006 21:50

adn talking in tpongues fgs

mosschops30 · 30/04/2006 22:00

I have just become Catholic. I have found a great church and priest (not my local parish) where its not all ram-down-your-throat stuff. My priest is well aware as he says 'that the majority of catholics have sex before marriage and use contraception'
it doesnt seem to bother him and he doesnt lecture on it.

Maybe that doesnt make him a 'real' catholic in some people's eyes.

Just thought maybe that if you have catholic roots it might be an idea to find a catholic church that suits your beliefs rather than you having to change yours or change churches even

Judd · 30/04/2006 22:01

Smurfgirl, I started going to the methodist church because my DH is a local preacher with them (I was brought up C of E). I've been really struck by their "faith in action" sort of approach and the way that they do get involved in the community. Go and give them a try!
I would also contact the church you want to get married in, tell them where you live and where you worship. See what they say. Do it as early as possible in case they do have any issues with it and then you've got time to sort it out.

Waswondering · 30/04/2006 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cat64 · 30/04/2006 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MaryBS · 01/05/2006 17:00

Our vicar isn't big on Alpha. What we are starting up are Emmaus courses - I went to a few sessions in Lent, and found them totally amazing! Sounds like they might be more your cup of tea?

Its Ecumenical as well, we have a Methodist church as well as an Anglican church in our village, and the sessions in Lent really brought us together.

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