hideous hymns, vocal vicars and theatrical thuribles. Religious Chat Thread Number 6!

[nickelbabe]

Welcome to the Religion Chat thread.
We're mostly Christians, but all are welcome.
a lovely soace to talk about church life, spiritual journeys and stuff in general.
It's not about debate, it's about chat.
Come oldies and newbies!

this is the previous thread

You would be quite right not to believe me if I said that MHD. What I can say is that God will be there to see you through whether it is hard or whether it is easy. He will be in it.

Amen DO! We'll be praying for you MHD

Nickel I think you should invite her for something easy - a tour of the shop, a coffee within a defined time so she knows you're not going to take over her whole day. The thing is that often with clergy family everyone thinks that someone else will ask, or that they'll be too busy and they often don't get asked at all.

she's pregnant with their first.
I think she's got other medical issues, so she must be very tired too - she looked ever so pale yesterday, and said she'd had to have a test, so it can't help.

Yes, I like the idea of telling her I'd like to chat over a drink (maybe not coffee- she is pg! ), and give her the option of choosing the date. It would have to be a short event anyway because the shop doesn't give me much time.
I suppose, being in the shop means that she doesn't have to worry that I'll never let her go. But it does give the problem that I won't be able to devote my complete attention. (i can for the most part, it's not like i've got many customers!)
I think in my parish, though, I can think of at least 5 or 6 people who will definitely make proper friends with her almost immediately - there are quite a few proper godly people who just gel with clergy (especially those who are parents) Those same people don't make any effort to get to know me , but then I'm the kind of person that no one wants to be friends with.

Oh Nickel don't be silly. You are very sensitive to the needs of others and try to understand their difficulties. I'm sure your nvw will be glad of that sensitivity.

oh, and I completely glossed over your worry for your OP mhd - see, that's probably why no one ever wants to be my friend! I'm all me, me, me!

I can't say it'll be alright, but I'm sure it'll all go smoothly.

I've had GA before, and I hate losing control, so it really freaked me out. I was told to count backwards from 10, and I remember saying some daft thing and then not remembering anything at all until I woke up. :)
prayers for you.

DO - i try to, but I always end up saying the wrong thing in the real world.
If I have in my head "whatever you do, don't say .....", you can guarantee that I'll avoid it, then think "yeay! I didn't say ...." then I'll say it.
It always happens - as soon as I relax, my brain just stops filtering out the stupid stuff.

nickel I think most of us have an inbuilt stupid remark generator -- I know I do. The great thing is that most people are too busy being worried about their own stupid remarks to worry about yours . Also if I were her I'd want to know someone in my parish who wasn't proper godly.

MHD I will be praying for you especially on Wednesday. GAs are scary at the best of times but with respiratory problems on top, yikes. DO is right though, God will be there with you. (Actually I want to compile a book of DO's wisdom.)

Things more on an even keel here, which is a huge relief. Now all I want is spring to come and the sun to appear

Niminy

I think so too Mary :) And I like being friends with her, so ner

I just think the new vicar's wife will be appreciative of any offer of friendship - for us clergy spice types it can be difficult to get to know people, because people have certain expectations of what we 'should' be like, and also often people don't like to get too close in case we go all erm holy on them or tell on them to our Super Godly OH or something bollox daft like that. So to have someone being genuinely friendly like you nickel would be a real joy. Have confidence in yourself - you're lovely.

Off for my pre-op in a minute....nervous. Have to be at the hosp for 7.30 am tomorrow, stupid time, so have to get a taxi as dh doing school run etc, and it's not our nearest hosp so will be expensive. Pah.

niminy - I want an Oma Wisdom book too! We should totally compile one. Never mind the Mumsnet Rules, we should have the Oma Rules

Thinking of you MHD.

I'm not really lovely. IT would be a lot easier to make friends if I weren't so blimmin' worried about what to say. Do you realise that I had a longish conversation with her on Sunday, and I haven't asked her what kinds of things she enjoys doing in her spare time? I can never think of the questions to ask people and my conversation is always stilted. They say that the best method of conversation is to ask the other person about themselves, but I always forget to do that - they ask me, and I think when they do, I'm so relieved that I haven't had to think of a question that I forget that actually, I'm supposed to do the same back. I must look as if I love talking constantly about myself!

I hope it's all going well, mhd with your pre-op.
and that the whole thing goes swimmingly tomorrow.

Sometimes, dear Nickel, you have to believe what other people tell you. And if we say that you are lovely, then you ARE lovely. End of.

DO is right Nickel. We all think you're lovely, and are glad we're you're friends.

Go on, do a bit of basking in the sunshine of what other people tell you. (I nearly wrote 'baking' )

thanks.
the reason I'm like this is because I did believe what someone told me when I was a teenager.

It's funny, isn't it, how we instantly believe anything negative we hear about ourselves and remember it forever, and manage not to listen to any good things? I do this myself all the time.

MHD hope the pre-op appt went smoothly, and that you got there and back ok.

Nickel - your post of 13:43 sounds exactly like me - I've always found it hard to get to know people and have conversations and often end up talking about myself and fail to ask the other person anything. I do always try to have a planned question or two if I can "Have you had a good week/weekend?" and try to make an effort to remember things they have told me so that I can ask about that e.g. if they have mentioned a holiday/meal out etc

MHD I hope all goes well for you with your OP.

Nickel, the secret is to answer the person's question then ask them the same one back! Then you don't even have to think of one. Of course this doesn't work if they are asking you how you juggle 3 kids when they don't have any, or something like that, but on the whole it works!

good idea!

our female alto's husband had a heart attack this week.
he's really poorly.

apparently, he was sedated since it happened, then they woke him yesterday and are seeing how it goes.

really worried for him. he's such a lovely bloke, and since they started coming to church (only just over a year!), he's got really involved with all sorts of stuff.
she's asking for prayers at the moment.

Will do Nickel.

Oh nickel, hope he is ok, praying for them all.

pokes tongue out I emphasise with what you are saying, though. When I was around 11/12/13 some people at school said a lot of fairly vile stuff to me. I was ugly, fat

btw the op went fine - he did it under a spinal in the end as I was too high risk for a general, and it was fine - just weird. I was very zonked out by it and tired/in pain but coming out of that now - for a couple of days I was worried as I couldn't bend at all and my back was in agony, but it seems a lot better today, so hopefully all is wlel;.

aw, lovely you, reassuring me before updating on your op!