DH is Catholic, I'm CofE, but we go as a family to the Catholic church. I think I am fairly supportive (e.g. It's me asking at church about first Holy Communion classes), whilst not wanting to convert myself. Dd1 is 7. She has told us that FIL is often telling her how sad he is that she doesn't go to an RC school and has now started questioning her about her preparations for FHC (which have started in his parish, ours don't start until Jan), but we feel that it should be our and her choice without him constantly questionning. She is actually really keen, but if she wasn't we wouldn't make her attend.
He doesn't say these things to us, probably because he knows that dh will tell him to keep his nose out, so rather he tries to undermine us to dd1. We have asked him not to but he says 'dd1 is my friend, why can't I talk to her about these things?'
If it matters to anyone, our dc attend a state school which has a strong commitment to the requirements for RE and daily worship, it is walking distance, a good school and dd has friends from different religions which seems to make her Catholic identity more meaningful for her. When applying we had no car, the RC school is about 1.5 miles as crow flies, but you can't walk that way and is about an hour each way by two busses(we have 3 children, ds was born 3 weeks after dd1 started school, he would have been spending 4 hrs on a bus a day). It is satisfactory and many parents at church (who live closer than we do) choose not to send their children there. We have told FIL all these points but he still corners dd when he gets a chance and says that she should be going to an RC school. We have absolutely no intention of moving the dc although if appropriate we would consider the RC secondary school, although not the best in the area, it's also not the worst, we will look at all the options and see which is the best all round choice for each child. How can we help dd1 (and the others no doubt as they get older) to manage these conversations?