Complete novice, surprised myself and felt connected in church.

[TalHotBrunette]

I have not been christened and have not attended church for many years although I got huge enjoyment in and comfort from it when I was very young. I think my church was a United Reformed but it no longer exists.

I seemed to lose my beliefs in the face of being a logical, very busy young woman and have been rather skeptical about religion since.

I went to a wedding this weekend and found the church service rather hypocritical as I know the couple do not have any faith/beliefs but I felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and calmness whilst there and realise that I have been missing (God? I'm reluctant to say; most people I know are quite scathing about religion) from my life. I live in a very peaceful, do-unto-others way and wonder if this comes from my early brush with the church.

I have two young children and struggle with post natal anxiety and am often in need of comfort and sustenance but I don't want to visit religion from a what-can-it-do-for-me angle if you see what I mean?

Where can I start? What sort of things should I be reading or doing? I don't have anyone to share this with in real life as my family and husband are firm atheists and I'm worried they would laugh (my grandmother used to be the one to take me to church).

Hello thb.

I'm glad you found a sense of connection to something whilst in church. I'm a Christian so would of course say that what you are searching for is God, and would recommend finding something like an Alpha course nearby - other ones are the Start course, Emmaus or Christianity explored. All have slightly different emphases but are basically designed to have a look at Christian faith basics, and give an opportunity for people to explore questions and issues they have with it and with their lives.

If this is just too much, and I can understand it could easily be at this stage, there are some good books. I'd always recommend starting with the bible, preferably with a gospel like the book of Mark, perhaps finding somewhere quiet to sit and contemplate, even if you feel like it saying a 'prayer' asking God to speak.

There are various good books, but it depends on what sort of style you like to read and how heavy theologically! I'm sure some will be along with some good suggestions. :) You might want to think about visiting a local church - have a look online to see what is around, and what 'style' you would feel comfortable with - there are many, ranging from all the bells, smells, robes and candles down to very informal. The most important thing is the welcome you are given, I think.

I really hope you find what you are looking for, and enjoy the journey :)

Thanks very much for replying. I have hunted out a Sunday service in my area which seems to be a sort of Methodist/URC amalgamation due to the closure of two churches. I hope I'm brave enough to go along and see what it's all about. Churches are usually pretty established communities though aren't they and I'm a complete beginner with no solid beliefs / opinions yet. Do you think people will be accepting?

Hi THB. I'm a Christian too, and have recently (last couple of years) rediscovered my faith after a good 30 years of agnosticism.

I would say, as well as all the good advice that you've had from MHD, that it's OK, at this stage - if you find being in church/attending church services comforting - just to turn up and to enjoy just being there. Is the church where you attended the wedding local to you? If so, given that you felt so comfortable there, that might be a good place to start. If not, maybe have a look at the websites of churches local to you (this website can help you to find Anglican churches near you; if you would like to find a URC - if I'm not mistaken they often share premises/services with the Methodists - Google is probably your friend).

Personally, at the beginning, I felt so unsure about what I was really doing there that I wouldn't have felt comfortable signing up for a course or anything (maybe that's just me, though!) and what I liked was being able just to show up pretty anonymously and take it all in.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck and hope that you find peace and joy (like I did! ).

Oops, cross-posted!

I'm an Anglican, but I have a good friend who's married to a URC minister (now retired) and he is one of the most open-minded, easy-going, forward-thinking [insert other similar adjectives] people I know. His wife (my friend) has been agnostic all her adult life. Go for it!

That's good to hear! I am keen to go along to a service and just see how I feel there but actually feel shy about doing so as will obviously be a new face and have two rather raucous children so will find it hard to just quietly blend into the background as I would rather do.

At least until I know why I am there and what I am doing, I'm not against joining in with things if you see what I mean!

I would recommend the book called The Case for Christ. It is. Very readable and written by a guy whose wife became a Christian and he set out to kind of "disprove" her beliefs, looked into the evidence etc and ended up being so convinced by the evidence that he also became a Christian. It can be a bit American ifkwim but I know a lot of people who were kind of seeking and they all enjoyed this book.

PS I became a Christian at 21 and have a totally atheist family so I identify quite a lot with what you've said!

Any church that is worth being part of will welcome you and your children and will accept where you are spiritually and help you grow at your own pace.

Agree that Marks Gospel is a great place to start. If you have an iPad or I phone or similar you can down load a Bible app. New Living Translation is a good one, or NIV or Good News.

A church that is running a Christianity explored course such as Alpha should be welcoming, it may even provide chid care for your children while you attend the course

Be very careful about things like an Alpha courses. It is a course that was written based on the 12 step processes model as used by groups like alcoholics anon etc. but rather than getting you out of a destructive behaviour it was written to force you into a need . That is why it often culminates in a weekend retreat or double classes of hard sell and emotional pressure to break you down to then be open to accepting what they call the truth.

Nothing wrong with following a faith if you like but be careful of the hard sell zealots of any cult. The alpha course was written by a man who claims to speak many languages but actually he just babbles nonsense and used to run around churches laughing his head off claiming he was being taken over by sprits.

The course is very homophobic and he claims to be able to heal homosexuality.

Given your situation, as you say you are suffering anxiety be careful of being taken advantage of by any cult.

Thanks for that too Novak, it's useful to know and I see where you are driving at with the anxiety thing too. While I don't see myself as a vulnerable person by a long stretch, I'm very aware that I am in a much more vulnerable position now than I was when young and independent, what with being more socially isolated due to the children and also having the anxiety problems. I'm a bit wary of being drawn into something just because I am looking for support rather than because it is something I genuinely believe in if you see what I mean so will stick to the more broadly known places while I figure this out.

Thank you everyone for your support and useful comments and for taking the time to reply.

Novack, your description of Nicky Gumble is laughable!

Sorry, had to run before I could finish my last post.

Yes, some churches that run Alpha courses are conservative and believe homosexuality is a sin. Most churches will not mention sexuality during the course. Although the church I am part of is evangelical we welcome everyone. In fact a homosexual couple are taking part in the next course, I'd not thought about it before this post, I just see them as people, which they are!

It is not based on the 12 steps. It has a different topic each week, explaining who God is, about Jesus and the Holy Spirirt, the place of prayer and church life in our faith. There is no pressure, you turn up if you want to, you stop if you want. A caring church may well ring you to check you are OK and if you have stopped because you have been upset etc. they will not make you go back.

The weekend or day away is used to teach about the Holy Spirit. It an be an emotional time for some people which is why it is given extra time, not for extra teaching but to give people time to ask questions about the whole course and the Teaching if the day.

Alpha, like the other courses is not a cult. It was written, like the other courses, by Christians wanting to give others an opportunity to learn more about the Christian faith.

The talking in different languages is part of the Christian faith, it won't help to explain it too much OP other than to say it is a language some Christians use to pray when they have run out of words! 1 Corinthians 12.10 if you are interested.

Please take your time Tal and make your own mind up about how fast or slow you want to explore your intrest in God.

take the time to read Richard Dawkins, also Paul of Tarsus for his views on homosexuality.

I can see where you are coming from op.
I too find great comfort from my church.
But it's not the building, or the beauty of it, it's the fellowship and I think you would find that useful at this time in your life.
X

Research the toronto blessing as this is what the alpha course holy spirit weekend is based on.

Most Mainstream christian see those practices at best to be heresy and at worst devil worship and there is no basis in scripture for them at all according to John Wimber who started the cult.

You might find Alpha helpful, but not everyone gets on with it.

Mark's Gospel is a really good start. Prayer is always good, even if it's just sitting quietly in the presence of the Spirit and not saying anything. A book that might be helpful as a starting point is 'Christianity in Ten Minutes' by Brian Mountford.

Most churches are very welcoming, especially if you have children. They are used to newcomers turning up. They may have greeters at the door - if you wanted to, you could say to them that you are new and don't know what to do and I'm sure they would help you.

Novack, I am sorry you have had a bad experience of the Alpha Course. This course was started in the early 90s if not earlier. I went in one in 1991, but the Toronto Blessing was In 1994. John Wimber died in 1997. There was an amicable split between Toronto and the rest of the Vineyard Church.

There is no devil worship in Toronto blessing, John Wimber's teaching or Alpha. Please provide me with links!

FairPhyliss talks sense!

Alpha works for some people but it's not for everyone - and in any case it's very variable, depending quite a lot for its atmosphere and emphases on who is running it.

But, anyway, it's great that you had such a good experience in church. I started going to church when I was in a similar position to you, and found it incredibly helpful. Over time my faith has deepened (I hope!) and strengthened, but really don't worry at this stage about it being ' what you get out of it'. Faith is a journey with many different stages to it.

The most helpful book I read was 'Tokens of Trust' by Rowan Williams. Contrary to what you might expect it's very clear and not at all obscure, and goes through the basic beliefs of Christianity in a non-patronising and accessible way.

oh I adore Rowan Williams! but that's by the by - except that he is a truly lovely man and when I was erming and ahing about God I heard one of his christmas messages that hit me like a gentle thunderbolt!

I am a christian now and as a christian I would say that what you experienced in the church was God. I'm not a fan of religion or, even, christians tbh (sorry) ie not a fan of the establishment. God is great though - a very present help in times of trouble. imo he wouldn't be blind to the fact that you're struggling at the moment and he would be keen to get some comfort to you.

erm don't recognise novack's depiction of NIcky Gumble - actually laughed out loud - who is a very ordinary person who puts across the tenets of the christian faith very clearly imo - and I'm not easily pleased on things like this. I wish you could get the alpha course independently though instead of having to watch them (a series of DVDs by Nicky Gumble) at a church but hey ho.

I would read the psalms because I find them so immediate and an especial solace during challenging times. Just sit quietly and read. bliss

I feel the same when I go to church. Just quiet connection and comfort. Good luck! :)