I was blessed and my H left me the next day?!!

[skyebluesapphire]

This is something that keeps popping into my head. I was blessed at a family Christening for the first time on Easter Sunday. Me and DD 4yo are not confirmed so when Communion was being held I went up for a blessing.

My STBXH had left me in Feb then came back again and when I went up to be blessed I was hoping it would somehow help me.

My H then left me for good the following day. I'm now wondering why I went up to be blessed as I've never fine it before, it just seemed really important at the time.

I was brought up to go to church every week, stopped when I was about 12, then turned away from God when my 2yo cousin died in an accident when I was 17.

Sorry if this sounds odd, I know I'm not explaining my feelings very well.

Coincidence or being in church had an unpleasant effect on your husband (?). Seeing you at the front of the church may have been a reminder of your wedding and may have been a reminder of his decision that the two of you are not meant to be together.

This is just a suggestion made so you can see that the real reason may be something you never thought of. Not necessarily anything 'divine'.

We couldnt get married in church as he wasnt christened.

I know why he left me. It's just that I don't pray very often but when I do it always seems to make things worse rather than better.!

You went for that blessing because as you say, it seemed really important at the time. Do you believe that it made a difference regarding your H leaving you? Or do you think it has made a difference to the way you have coped since?

Never posted on this section of Mn before (my faith has been a little variable over the years) but if your situation had happened to me I would have taken it as a sign of comfort and hope - what ever troubles lay before you, at that point in time, God would be there to help you through.

Perhaps 10yrs down the line and with a bit of perspective/hindsight under your belt your XH leaving you will seem like a blessing? I'm not especially religious but if I was I would probably say it is all part of God's plan for you.

No I dont have a strongenough faith to think it would have made a difference. But I felt odd that day, my H was quite distant and I suppose I was wanting reassurance that everything would be ok but I didn't get it, lol.

I suppose it's more a "why did I bother" sort of question.

But like Ladystark says, maybe in time (possibly even now) I will see it as a blessing that he did go ..,

I'm so sorry that you're in this situation, OP. However, I really don't think that your going up for a blessing will have made a different to what happened subsequently with your H. Nor do I think that your prayers make things go wrong.

I suspect that, at the time of the Christening, you were feeling worried about your marital situation (consciously or unconsciously) and felt drawn to go up for a blessing because you were looking for something to help you through that tough time - something to help you cope, or even just a momentary sense of calm (which might be identified as the peace of God which passes understanding, but which might also be described simply as a moment of peace and stillness in a stressful life). I am not good at articulating, but I know that when I take communion I (mostly) feel an incredible and deeply moving calmness, which I never feel in other circumstances (however wonderfully peaceful they may be), and which I sometimes manage to hold on to for a few minutes and at others is really fleeting, but it draws me back ... and, strangely, did even when I didn't go to church or think of myself as a Christian (which was a period of about 30 years!). That is, long before I could begin to think of myself as a 'believer', I knew that I wanted to go to church in order to take communion, and I knew that somehow that peace would be in it for me if I did.

Oh, I am not explaining this well at all, and I know that to many it will sound like so much mumbo-jumbo, and it's such an emotional/spiritual thing for me that I don't really know how to put it into words, but I am sharing it in case somehow at some level it strikes a chord. If it doesn't, just ignore me. I wish you luck for your future, whatever it may bring.

To me, it would just seem like bad timing, sapphire!

Although, there is another bit of me wondering if maybe this man is actually bad for you, you're not seeing it yourself but God knows best?
( Sorry, I hate it when people say God knows best to me about my situation so I apologise if that's a stupid thing to say!)

No, I understand what you are saying and the more selfish behaviour I see from my STBXH since he has gone, the more I understand that he is not right for me. He is acting like a child over everything.

Maybe the blessing was that he did leave...

Well, there you go! Maybe there's a better man waiting round the corner.
Well, not literally round the corner, that would be creepy!