First Ramadan...any tips?

[ErikNorseman]

Ok I'm not religious at all, but DH is muslim. I have never partaken of Ramadan but this year I think I'm going to give it a try, for the communality and the experience. I don't plan to do it all, TBH he's going away for a week and I won't do it then, and I'm not committing to every day when he is here! I do want to know what all the fuss is about though so. Thankfully I stopped smoking 18 months ago so that's not an issue but honestly, how do you get through the day without a drink? Do you set your alarms and eat and drink at 4am, or do you drink pints before bed? Do you stuff yourselves at 11pm? I couldn't do it how DH does, so he isn't really an example (he stays up late and sleeps late, like 3am - 11am or even later, self employed so no problem) but I have a 9-5 so no good. Please give me some tips!

Admittedly I am exaggerating slightly.... our school lunch break was truncated from 1hr 55min to 15 min. The poor non-Muslim folk would scurry off to a designated 'eating room' to hastily consume their sandwiches and then come running back brushing crumbs off themselves. Bless.

I did feel a bit bad for the non-Muslim kids during Ramadan, because one of them might casually make a remark about going out for dinner later and then they'd be horrified that they might have offended the fasting Muslim kids and would apologise profusely for the next five minutes. Honestly, we didn't mind or care!

gameplan? erm last year I was very tired, lethargic and found it hard to go out and about, so probably a lot of sending my 5 and 3 year old to stay with my mum seeing as it is holidays!

But yes since it is holidays I will probably go to bed after fajr and wake up before the end of zohr.

Yes eid el kbir is eid al adha. Different Arabic dialects?

Yes DH is Moroccan

does it mean great eid innit?

my inlaws just call it big eid and choti eid lol

inshallah

Hi Erik. I drink lots of water during the evening, making sure I always have a glass to hand, otherwise I get headaches during the day.

For suhoor, I have porridge, wholemeal sandwiches with peanut butter and a banana - nice filling stuff.

It's tradition to break the fast in the evening with dates, but they are brilliant for filling you up and giving you a sugar boost.

However, there is a whole spiritual side to Ramadan too, there is something so special about the month, beyond just fasting too.

Thanks goth, that is what I am looking for to be honest, I want to get in on the spiritual satisfaction :)

I think using Ramadan as a chance to disconnect from distractions, focus on spiritual matters helps.

This article is quite a good summary of Ramadan: www.suhaibwebb.com/personaldvlpt/worship/fasting-ramadan/t30x-taqwa-in-30-days-xtreme/

I would say that if there is a particular activity that makes you feel closer to God, set aside more time to do that in Ramadan. Don't worry if it's not one of the typical Muslim style of closer to God activities either, I'm a firm believer that we need to build our own personal relationship with God. Try to declare it a stress-free month and so on.

Just to add, that for me, I see fasting as an act of love towards God. I love my food (oh sooo much), but God alone, I will leave it aside and so I feel it brings me closer to God.

Also the times when it's hard and I'm really feeling the fast, it's a reminder not to be arrogant - "look how weak I feel after a little while without food, how grateful I am that this isn't my every day life."

Thank you both for those lovely and thought provoking posts. I'm not religious as I said but I believe in self improvement and humility, awareness of your own weaknesses and of your position in relation to others.

Ok I have a question
obviously I'm not going to be timing meals around prayers so...the first prayer at the moment is 3.45am and sunrise is 5.04am. Is the last time you can eat before 3.45am or before 5.04am? If it is supposed to be 3.45, would it be cheating of me to get up at 4.45 for breakfast instead? I'm quite concerned that I will be trying to function on 4 hours sleep all month because if I wake up at 3.30 I will not get back to sleep for several hours, if at all. That way I will still be fasting during daylight hours. Or I might have it wrong anyway and you can eat before 5 :)

It's before the first prayer, not before sunrise, so in this case you can eat until 3.45am.

I'm lucky, in that I can fall back asleep, whereas my husband really struggles.

Hmm. Well I might have a think about that. On the one hand, I want to do it properly if at all. On the other hand, sunrise to sunset is long enough, and I think I will be actually dead if I set my alarm for 3.30 every day.

I would say then, try to eat as late as possible before you go to bed and drink lots of water throughout the evening. Always have water to hand. That will help a lot.
Not so many years ago, you'd have been breaking your fast at 4pm.

Ramadan Mubarak! Day one going well...so far! Apart from not very DH being an idiot. But I refuse to be derailed by his nonsense and I am focused. I'm going to bake some fresh bread and make a trifle today which is exciting since I have been on a diet for 3 months!

Thanks crescent, I was aware of that (lots of SILs!) but I think I'll see how I get on. I'm on the pill so my periods are very light.

I baked bread, made some lush smelling harira (no idea if it tastes ok!) and a trifle :) I have leftovers to eat up too when DH has meat. He has taken DS to mosque now so I'm just trying to avoid thinking about a cup of tea for the next 2 hours! What a long day!