DD (aged 8) wants to become a Catholic WWYD?

[perceptionreality]

We are all C of E - my children were all baptised in this church and I was confirmed there.

Dd who is 8 goes to a catholic school and has recently started saying a lot that she enjoys going to mass and would like to do her Holy Communion. She said she believes in the faith and it makes sense for her and has asked me if she can start going to the catholic church nearby.

I don't have any objection to this at all but was wondering if it happened to anyone else? Should I speak to the priest at our local catholic church? Would we all have to convert as a family? I feel as though I should take her feelings about it seriously.

I was raised catholic and forced to make my holy communion (didn't even get a nice dress as I had to wear my tomboy sister's hand-me-down!). I knew at 7/8 I was an atheist and used to get so frustrated at people telling me I was too young to know my own mind, and I'd thank my mother when I was older for forcing me into it. I'm still an atheist.

My point is, if she is adamant that she wants to do this, I think you should let her. It might just be a phase she is going through but even if it is, what is the harm in her doing it for a few years before changing her mind? Plenty of people are raised catholic, make their holy communion and then reject it all as adults. She would not be stuck into something she could never release herself from.

I do agree with the points sash is making, I have my own issues with the catholic church, as ex-Catholics usually do. But I think your daughter is choosing for herself something that many children raised catholic just go along with, without putting a lot of thought into their reasons.

Even as a staunch atheist with a bit of a dislike for the catholic church, when faced with this dilemma I would let my dd take her communion. If I knew my mind at that age why wouldn't she?

I'm a bit confused, in your OP you say you are all C of E but later you say your OH is an atheist? It seems strange to me for a parent to send their child to a school where they will be told on a daily basis things that they consider untrue.

If an 8 year old was capable of researching a religion with no outside influences and decided to follow it then fair enough, but believing what trusted adults tell them is not coming to their own conclusion about what religion, if any, to follow

Her father and I are divorced TBD. His religious beliefs aren't relevant in the context of what school she goes to as I have residence of the children.

The reason I mentioned it was because he tries to convince her that god does not exist but she's made up her own mind anyway.

Anyway, she went to mass today with another child from school and she came back saying she wants to go again next week. So we'll see how it goes for her.

Catholics are allowed to be Prime Minister - IIRC, we've never had an RC PM but there's no law against it.

The church does recognise marriages made in other religious institutions as valid (Anglican marriages are certainly considered valid). Civil ceremonies in registry offices or similar places are not considered valid.

"Not all practising catholics disagree with contraception either - I went to the school she attends myself so I have quite a few catholic friends (interestingly I never had a particular desire to convert). I don't know what our particular local RC church is like but perhaps that's why I should take her to find out?"

PerceptionReality - that's just the point I was making - she will have to abide by the ROMAN CATHOLIC doctrine on contraception to be a bone fide one. The POPE in Rome, decides what the doctrine is, and NOT your particular local church or priest. The RC is an international organisation, headed by the Pope and he makes all the rules - there's no wiggle room if you are a real RC. If you're an a la carte one, and opt out of the things you don't agree with, you get vilified from the pulpit.

Maybe that's why so many people who want to determine their own family size, while still having a sexual relationship with their partner leave the RC; or so many people who are LGTB; or so many women who are sick of so called celibate men telling them how to live their lives, while they bugger little children and lie for each other about it. My family is RC - but the callousness and hypocrisy got to me - I never looked back: being RC is being a second class citizen if you're a woman.

Regarding whether she could be appointed PM if she was a Roman catholic, it looks like no - even Disraeli was baptised an Anglican, and there have only even been Anglican PMs.

Your DD sounds like a very spiritual and caring child - why allow her to join this organisation considering how they treat women - you wouldn't let her join the Mormons, or submit to Allah would you?

There are many ways to develop her spiritual side, why let her sign up for this misogynistic organisation? Surely she can get her fix of 'bells and smells' somewhere else ?

It's not really fair to suggest that all catholic priests 'bugger little children', come on!

There is no doubt that she will find out about the more controversial aspects of the pope's view on sexuality and contraception as she gets older. And then it will still be up to her to decide what she's going to do.

'she will have to abide by the ROMAN CATHOLIC doctrine on contraception to be a bone fide one.'

So, who exactly is going to do checks on her private life and tell her she's a 'bona fide' catholic or not? The important thing is surely finding a church where you feel comfortable to be. She's only 8 so that aspect won't even apply at the moment.

The problem, in any case, is that all denominations of christianity have their unpleasant aspects ime. The C of E church is in the news at the moment regarding their stance on women bishops. There is no equality for women there and things are not likely to change any time soon.

I have also come across 'free church' denominations where the people involved think they are superior to others and where you are told on a regular basis by the preacher that if you have sex outside marriage at all you will definitely go to hell. At university, the people I came across in this church were the most homophobic, prejudiced, unpleasant people I had the misfortune to meet.

I could take dd to our local C of E church but my mum and I stopped going there years ago because people are very unfriendly. It's not really for me to tell her what to do anyway, (unless she wants to join a cult!) but unless people are brainwashing her with unpleasant views (which I saw all the time in the baptist church) then I see no harm in her continuing for now.

perceptionreality - if she becomes a proper RC she won't need any one to check up on her - she'll have enough guilt not to cross over from the RC doctrine herself - she'll learn that 'God sees all'.

And FWIW - I agree not every RC priest buggered little children, but the did cover it up and move the abusers around without telling the authorities, or protecting other children they had access too. As an institution they are all culpable of that abuse - it was systemic.

Good luck!

And FWIW - I agree not every RC priest buggered little children, but they did cover it up and move the abusers around without telling the authorities, or protecting other children they had access to. As an institution they are all culpable of that abuse - it was systemic.

'she'll have enough guilt not to cross over from the RC doctrine herself - she'll learn that 'God sees all'.'

I get what you're saying, really I do and fwiw I do think christianity can be quite damaging to a person's sexuality. But what do you suggest I do? I could try to discourage her but she is really sure it's what she wants to do. I could encourage her to follow a different denomination but as I said, none are perfect and the more 'free' churches also push guilt in their own way, quite successfully too.

I hope my post above was of some use to you, perception.

Yes, it was AKiss, thank you. As a parent I feel it would be very unsupportive for me to have the attitude 'you don't know what you're talking about, you're too young'. That kind of dismissive approach is damaging to a child, I feel. My parents never took my feelings seriously and I spent a lot of the time feeling intensely frustrated and angry as a result. I do believe it's my job to support dd in her choices (within reason as I would not allow her to join a cult of course!)