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Original poster

Catholics- when do your children make their first Communion...

22 replies

Fayrazzled · 26/06/2012 16:16

...and how much preparation do they have?

My daughter is at a Catholic school (we are practising Catholics) and is due to make her FHC next year when she is in Y3. I have recently found out that the preparation classes for this are done in the local parish on a Saturday morning from 10am on a Saturday. The preparation goes on weekly from January until they make their Communion in June. The trouble is this will clash with an activity she does which she absolutely loves and which there is no option to do at another time. If she takes 6 months off to do it she will lose her place in the team with no guarantee of being able to rejoin later. And she will be devastated.

I am really surprised at how much preparation it takes and on a weekend. Is this usual these days? It wasn't in my day.

OP posts:
jollyrancher · 26/06/2012 16:22

Y3 in our parish. They have a 45 min session on a weekday eve from Oct until April plus one weekend mass but that is flexible as it can be vigil or Sunday and needn't be in the parish church.

Madsometimes · 26/06/2012 19:14

Y3 is standard, but the method of preparing for FHC differs according to parish. In our parish, lessons were on a Saturday, but monthly not weekly.

If you are going for a highly over-subscribed catholic secondary, making your communion in Y3 is seen as a positive thing. Making it in Y5 or 6 much less so, because it indicates less of a commitment - yes I know, it's rubbish, but that is how things are.

heather1 · 26/06/2012 19:20

Could you get her ready? Im doing that with my DS. Then 2 months before the Day he Sees the priest to Check what he knows and remind him of anything he has forgotton.

TheWoollybacksWife · 26/06/2012 19:24

Year 3 here too. Prep is done at school in RE lessons with regular attendance at Mass encouraged. Children that attend a non-Catholic school are prepped weekly for about 6 months before main Sunday Mass.

Bigmerlin · 26/06/2012 19:25

Year 3. Classes Sat am, but every other week. Dd also had a clash with an activity, but I just sent her on the weeks that there was no 1st HC class and explained to the teacher. There wouldn't have been an issue with taking it later though, and there were some older girls who did. Not sure I'd tell the priest it was because of the clash though!

Waswondering · 26/06/2012 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Fayrazzled · 26/06/2012 19:32

Thanks all for your responses.
Hmmmm- seems weekly lessons for 6 months might be a bit much. Not sure how much I can rock the boat though. And really don't think the priest will be impressed if I complain about the clash of activity. Or if I suggest instructing her myself. There really is nothing like missing out on this activity that will make my daughter more turned off doing her Communion though. And it is annoying that we're al,ready regular mass attenders and she goes to a Catholic school. I'm not sure how much preparation they really need aged 7! When I did mine 30 (cough) years ago I wasn't at a Catholic school and I met a nun at the convent for a few meetings, filled in a workbook, job done.

OP posts:
Orchidskeepdying · 26/06/2012 19:35

If its important for you for her to make her communion... then surely that is more important than the activity...

Original poster
Fayrazzled · 26/06/2012 19:50

Orchids- I know I should feel the first Communion is more important. But you know, she loves this activity so much- I feel very conflicted.

OP posts:
Orchidskeepdying · 26/06/2012 20:15

sorry, but if your religion is important to you then it would come before swimming, or gymnastics... especially at 7 when they can catch up with things like that...
Also - would you not prefer her to make her first communion with her class?

Original poster
Fayrazzled · 26/06/2012 21:07

Orchids- I would prefer for her to make her Communion with her class. I just know she is going to be very, very disappointed to have to give up her activity for 6 months, when it might mean she doesn't get the same opportunity again in the future. (And risks turning off religion into the future). I guess your implication is correct- I mustn't be a very good Catholic! But really, my reason for posting was to see if this sort of arrangement for preparation classes is common-place or whether it is done differently in different dioceses.

OP posts:
Orchidskeepdying · 26/06/2012 21:30

ok - just being a 'devil's advocate' really!!

I think its mostly common place - unless you have, like my school lots of different parishes involved. In which case the children are all going to differnet classes at different times and making their communions at different days.
I don't know what to tell you - may be if you DD is a mature 7, you can involve her in the discussion. What does she want?

Orchidskeepdying · 26/06/2012 21:32

Also - at my school we have some year 4s and even some year 5s making their communions, so she can delay it for a year, she will just be with the younger children.
Also - would you have the same problem next year involving the activity?

jollyrancher · 26/06/2012 22:02

Could she get instruction with a different parish that does it on a different day?

Annunziata · 26/06/2012 22:31

My DC followed the same pattern, although their FCs were in May not June. The classes were also on a weeknight. (Scotland)

sashh · 27/06/2012 07:33

If she likes the activity so much, and you are practicing, then instruct her your self and then when you both agree she is ready let her go to comunion. You don't actually need the white dress and the rest of the class.

I assume she has godparents - maybe get them involved for some of the instruction - I'm sure there are books there and then plan one Sunday to go with family and let her make her first communion.

I'm atheist, but in my dim and very distant past I was the only child at the RC school who had not had a first communion.

Started in RC school, my brother did the whole shirt tie and red sash and then we moved to a village with no RC school so for three years we were both out of RC schools, we moved again so I was back in an RC school. I had to spend break being 'instructed' and then just went to communion one evening. Only my parents and brother knew it was my first communion. I have no idea what I was wearing, I have no photos and I don't (and more importantly didn't then) care.

Why not let dd decide - give up the activity and do prep/ have commmunion with the rest of the class or have home instruction and have her own first communion.

weegiemum · 27/06/2012 08:24

I'm not RC, we're baptists actually.

But my ds's best friend is RC (ds only non family member invited to attend) this was in P4/Y3. I know his mum well, they had monthly sessions at church and were also withdrawn from school for a couple of afternoons ( it's a language-specialism primary so totally interdenominational!)

What your dc is being asked to do seems excessive to me, especially at that age. I've been a bit of a Protestant denominational tart over the years - was welcomed as a member in the church of Scotland, then 7 years later confirmed in the Scottish Episcopal Church, then 11 years later baptised as an adult and joined the local baptist church. None of these took more than 4 weeks of instruction!

Floggingmolly · 27/06/2012 08:31

We had weekly lessons for 6 months and the schools are Catholic...
I'm afraid holding your place for an extra curricular activity won't be seen as sufficient reason not to attend.

acorntree · 27/06/2012 12:40

My dd was in yr 2 when she did her FHC.
They had about eight meetings before hand to prepare,
every couple of weeks or so.
The meetings were scheduled so the maximum number
of people could get to them (there were 12 children being
prepared), not all children could go every time. Usually they
were after Mass on a Sunday, as most people were there then,
sometimes they were midweek in the early evening.

Have you spoken to your parish priest about this? I'm sure they
could make arrangements for your daughter to be prepared
separately if necessary. I would be surprised if she was the
only catholic child who had other commitments on a Saturday
morning. Perhaps you could get involved in running a separate
low key preparation class for the children who would otherwise
be missed?

ColouringIn · 27/06/2012 12:47

My DS did his this year (Y4) and prep was on a Saturday but only once a month. I think weekly classes are overkill tbh and our parish priests would agree with that too.

mariamariam · 27/06/2012 23:39

Saying you think los

mariamariam · 27/06/2012 23:46

Sorry for typo!

Talk to the priest!

If losing her team place will rapidly put her off religion, that is a good reason to defer. Or to do different prep classes, or home catechism, a quiet non-bridezilla first communion etc.

Uber-mum wanting a precious dd's white dress day following special treatment because of her ultra-important sports club wouldnt work quite so well.

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