I'll try to explain my situation without boring people, I do really appreciate anyone who takes time to read my post.
I grew up in a 'Christian' home but as an adult looking back it was definitely a cult. So many pointless rules, no trousers, no makeup, a church that didn't actually have a name, it was just referred to as the one true way. I wasn't really encouraged to have friends outside of the church and because we lived in the country my parents didn't really bother to make sure I had lots of company (or couldn't).
I became an official member of the church aged around 16 and met and married my dh and continued on going to this church but never really fully subscribing to its doctrine.
Anyway aged 29 I left the church and don't now belong to any church. For a while I missed the sense if going to a service but loved the freedom of not having to pretend I was 'religious'. Now I don't go anywhere but my parents find it very hard to accept it and make regular jibes about going to hell, spending eternity with the devil, regretting a wasted life.
The sensible part of me knows that this church was very cult in its doctrine and organisation but a small part of me thinks what if I'm wrong?
When am I going to shake off this feeling of inferiority?
There is a huge gathering of the church happening in a few weekends time that I had continued to go to, only once a year, to keep parents off my back but this year I can't be bothered. I'm just fed up being bullied into attending these things and I have no desire to go. When I told dm that I wasn't going she hung up the phone on me. 
Does this make any sense? Don't really know what I expect anyone to say tbh.