Getting married in catholic church when pregnant?

[terrywoganstrousers]

I'm currently 10 weeks pregnant and DP and I have decided we would like to get married before the baby arrives. We were planning to do it after but have now changed our minds.

We are both Catholics and would want to do it in church, but before we approach the priest I was wondering whether anyone had any experience of this kind of situation. Will they marry us in, say, three months time, or will they insist on waiting until after the baby is born? We would like to get married in about September I think, maybe October at the latest.

Bump

Anyone?

Hi!
Congratulations on your engagement and on the baby.

I would expect a priest to be much more keen on you getting married before the baby is born. For the Catholic church marriage is one of the seven sacraments which means that when you marry you will receive God's grace to strengthen and help you in your married life. That could come in handy with a new born!

Are you aware that you will be expected to undergo the Catholic marriage preparation course first? It is a bit like marriage guidance counselling before you get married to help you to address issues you may face in the future. Courses vary - sometimes just one day, sometimes a series of evenings - depends on the parish. Each parish organises their own usually.

It will be good if you phone up the priest to ask him when and where you can attend one of these preparation courses - it will make you sound like you know what is expected.

I have pasted below information about the course from the Diocese of Westminster.

"Couples marrying in the Catholic Church anywhere in the world are required to have attended a Catholic marriage preparation course. This is to ensure that they have understood and agreed to the solemn promises that they will both be making before God, and to equip them to grow in their love and commitment to each other even if they encounter challenges.
Couples planning to marry are advised to book a course early on and make attending a priority, rather than putting it on the bottom of their list of things to do and ending up in a panic last-minute search. This is an investment in a life-time of love that they will discover is well worth the effort and time spent."

Good luck with the wedding preparations and the birth! God bless.

Hi, thanks for the response!
I did know about the marriage prep courses, yes. I think in our diocese they tend to run them as weekend days.

(sorry, sent too soon!)
So best think is just to ring priest do you think? And explain situation immediately? Or are they a bit ' don't ask don't tell' and perhaps we shouldn't mention baby but just express our eagerness to get married very soon?!

Also, I've just looked on our diocesal website and the next course in our parish is a Saturday in the middle of October.
Is it the done thing to go to a nearby parish for the marriage prep courses? As some parishes seem to have them every couple of months but ours only twice a year!

I think honesty is the best policy with a priest! He will probably want to meet you to discuss the wedding anyway so phone him up and arrange a meeting face to face as soon as possible.

Then at the meeting you could tell him that you have already checked out the marriage prep courses but explain that you want to do yours sooner - and why. It will depend on what kind of guy he is - they do vary quite a bit!

The church does not expect quickie weddings, hence the prep courses, so just make it sound like you have given the whole thing lots of considered thought and are very committed to each other and to doing the right thing.

I am going to watch this thread now so please report back how you get on with the priest.

I hope that soon mumsnetters will be helping you to choose hymns, not to mention baby names.

Good luck.

Thank you! Will give the priest a call on Monday or perhaps ask tomorrow after mass to make an appointment.

Is the marriage prep course a new thing? I'm a Catholic who got married in the catholic church 9 years ago and I didn't have to attend a course.

I wonder if you want to marry quickly if the priest could do the preparation? There must be exceptions. For example, God forbid, if someone were dying and wished to marry then they wouldn't enforce attendance at a course then?

Fay, I think it has been a general rule for some time.

I married in a Catholic Church 23 years ago and I had to do a prep course. It was run by the Parish Priest and was quite informal and informative. As I remember it mentioned welcoming children as one of the gifts of marriage

Speak to your priest. IME most priests would be keen on you being married before the baby comes and would be happy for you to speed things up a bit by going to a nearby parish for the course. You would be very unlucky to get a hardline priest that enforced the timescale in his parish.

Congratulations on your baby.

I'm getting married in September and going to be heavily pregnant (8 months) my priest had no problem with marrying us before, out prep is being held centrally.
Talk to him, he shouldn't have a problem with it.

I'm catholic and got married 5 years ago. We didn't have to attend a course.
Our priest was happy to marry us whilst I was 7 months pregnant. Our wedding was actually booked before I fell pregnant, but I offered to postpone it- he wouldn't hear of it! He knew we had a little boy already though, so knew we weren't 'strict' catholics!
He was lovely about it all, he pointed out that marriage and babies were both very important to the catholic church, and he'd be hypocritical to try to preach against either one, just because they were coming in the wrong order!
I hope your priest is just as supportive.
Congratulations and good luck!

Our local parish insists that a couple wait 3 months to actually get married after initially making enquiries, so September/October should be fine. I know lots of women that have been married when pregnant and the priest knew. On a few occasions he has asked the couples alone and together were they sure its what they wanted/they weren't being pressurised into it etc.

Re the marriage preparation classes, I got married in September and the classes didn't run over the summer so the priest just had us over for a drink cup of tea and a chat.