Attention all Catholics- opinions and advice required

[eisbaer]

Hi!
I am considering becoming Catholic. Here are my reasons-
I have a belief, but no Protestant service I have attended(brought up church of Scotland) "does it" for me
I have really enjoyed any catholic marriages I have been at
Even as a child, the interaction and ritual of a catholic mass made me wish I were catholic
I love the strong sense of union and identity enjoyed by Catholics, I feel that other forms of Christianity seem to be just making it up as they go along
I am going to offend with this point- I think you canbe a practising Catholic and relatively "normal", but other forms of Chrisyianity have a level of squareness or stigma about them that tends to alienate alot of people. I am just saying how I seeit!
I don't like certain things associated with Catholicism
-views on homosexuality

• views on masturbation
• sexual abuse by priests and subsequent cover ups
• not sure i buy the whole "power of god"attributedto thePope

My question for you is this- knowing the above, am I a worthy candidate? Would people at Mass think I was a weirdo if I rocked up alone, non catholic, and didn't do communion or didn't raise my kids catholic(not Planning to till am sure myself) any comments and opinions would be greatly appreciated, just can't seem to shake this idea of converting.

there's lots of new catholics at my church, plenty of church attenders don't go up for communion yet and every easter lots of adults do get baptised (or welcomed if they can't be baptised)

DH attends and takes an active part in helping out at the church, he plans to get "welcomed" (he can't get baptised because he's already baptised in another christian religion) but can't make the weekly lessons this year, there's no rush, but I think we'ld like it done by the time DS makes his first communion so that DH can take communion with DS and I on his first communion day

he's in no way odd or alone, there are lots of people who are very active in the church who are not full catholics yet (not that they ever have to be they are welcome indefinitely)

But are most of them there with a spouse who is catholic? My DH has no belief, and is a bit thrown by my quest to find somewhere to worship as I have never bothered up until now. Do you have folk there who just liked the "idea" of it and are trying it out?

DH likes:
offering the sign of peace (the hand shaking part, he really likes that bit!)
The "normal" people who go
How active our church is in the real grotty problems in our community that a lot of people prefer to turn a blind eye to
The homily
the extra "tool" when explaining tricky subjects (like death etc) with DS

doesn't like:
-the anti gay marriage bit, the arguement that catholic marriage is about raising children doesn't add up I'm afraid as many gay couples raise children!
-the abuse cover ups, we pray, hope, and believe that the next generation of priests are better - that doesn't sound right , we want it to change, but we are supporting change from inside (and there are clergy fighting the system from the inside)
-the pro-life stuff, we're pro choice

It's not uncommon to convert to catholicism I really don't think you will have any problem. Also no problem with just going along for the services.

Have you tried a "high" anglican church? Their services are very close to RC in feel. Your reservations about the church (homosexuality etc) are "biggies" IYSWIM so it might be worth doing a bit more exploring before deciding IMO

Exactly the type of info I was after mOnkeymoma. I guess I should bite the bullet and just go alOng for a few weeks, see how it feels. Also be brave enough to broach subject with friends who are Catholic.

They do the peace thing in our anglican church as well

no, some are couples where neither was catholic and they fancied being part of a church and tried a few and settled on ours, other people found the church through the social outreach charity work done by the church (e.g. addicts and ex addicts, ex sex workers etc), other's, I don't know everyone's reason, but I do know that a lot of people don't go up for communion, DH doesn't stand out - it really doesn't matter. "Converting" is in no way pushed people are welcome to try it out for YEARS if they like, DH has been attending for a few years, he was never approached about being welcomed (so he can take communion), it wasn't discussed until he was ready and brought it up himself

family is central in our church though, so wherever you come from it is encouraged that you do join as a family if you can, it's all aobut god in your marriage, god in your parenting.. but that might be just the feel of my particular church and parish priest and it's not compulsary.

I'm sure you'd be very welcome.

Don't think we have Anglican churches in Scotland? Homosexuality is seen as sinful by more than just certain Catholics, also many other branches of Chrisyianity,,was my thinking, so didn't think it had to be a deal breaker? Anyone know of any good books giving the low-down on particular religions or best just to attend and see where I fit best? Not keen on the "peace be with you" bit- feel quite shy and awkward doing it!

I like the idea of not being pushed, that is what has put me off elsewhere also. Take the whole family then you think? Not sure DH would buy that and DS1 and 2 have hated any other church I've taken them to. What do kids do during Mass?

Oh sorry for some reason although I read church of scotland I didn't put 2 and 2 together

If I were you I would go to services at your various local places of worship and see where you feel comfortable. I recently had to think a lot about this for various reasons and for reasons including those on your list + more I decided that RC (the religion I was born to and raised in) was not for me. I couldn't get past the list, it was just too long.

Non RC have sunday schools down here.

I think you should go by yourself to local places of worship and see how you go. Churches differ vastly in "feel" and are very different even within the same denomination so going along is the only way to do it really.

Once you are settled in you can see if the family are interested!

You don't need to take the whole family if they won't like it...take them if they are happy to go. How old are your kids? There is often a children's liturgy for little children (under 7 round here) where they go out in the first part of the mass for the liturgy of the word then join everyone else for the liturgy of the eucharist (communion), but it will depend on the church and may be on which service you go to.

Why don't you just go along and try it - I'm sure you'll be welcome, we get a lot of visitors in our church and many are non-catholics.

Yes sardine think that's better than trailing 3 boys round like travellIng preacher's children- that could potentially have a negative effect! Thanks for all the advice. Wish we were just settled in somewhere and that was that! Have recently moved house too btw

As a general rule most catholic churches are so delighted to have new members that they wouldn't care what you did (in my experience anyway). We have recently moved to a small town that has a very small catholic community with very regular attendees. We have been welcomed with open arms despite being unmarried with 2 DCs.

As with so many things it is the very staunch views that make the news. I am catholic, wholly support gay marriage & feel the abuse of children by priests utterly abhorrent. You can have a religion & be a realist too!

Music to my ears Bella, all of it! My Catholic friends are all pretty liberal actually so it must be possible.

Kids: we go to "family mass" some weeks there's sunday school and they are in a separate room for most of it, other weeks there is an audience specific general mass, every week the kids go up and hold hands round the alter and say the our father, then do sign of peace to each other.

afterwards they run riot round the curch hall while we drink coffee, in between most bring toys and books to play with quietly

I wouldn't dream of taking him to Latin mass though try a few different mass times they vary a lot!

Books: there is a book called "marrying a catholic" which is a good overview even if you're not marrying a catholic

or maybe it's this?: www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?q=marrying+a+catholic&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&prmd=imvns&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1238&bih=680&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=7679447080474823351&sa=X&ei=rQCwT-_1DofV8gPSyeG6CQ&ved=0CGEQ8wIwAA#ps-sellers

I can't remember the exact title, but DH was given it at pre-marriage course when we got married and found it useful

and don't worry about learning when to sit/stand/kneel - just do what 90% of us do - never sit in the front few rows and copy the people on front of you!

Am quite looking fwd to giving it a go next week! My boys don't like going because once I took them to an evangelical church, was pressured to leavethem upstairs in Sunday school where they had to sit still and sing songs with quite-strict women that they didn't know. I think if they were with me the whole time they'd be ok. But I wouldn't want them to be the only kids clambering over me through the whole thing. I've been told the family service is Really noisy due to all the kids so I'll suss it out locally.

sunday school isn't compulsary at the family mass I go to (and it's not every week), there's always a few that don't go in, and you can go in with them if you/they prefer. It's pretty tame, a story from the bible then they get coloring in sheets to do with it. They seem to like it, it's cute.

The RC sexuality teaching is so very strict, that it actually makes for a very liberal and accepting attitude in practice.

Where some churches dismiss gay marriage, divorce when without adultery etc, the view of 'it's only 100% ok if you are not gay, not divorced, not co-habitant, preferably waited till tge honeymoon, definitely canon-law-standard-married, expressing love without reservation, not using contraception, being considerate of your spouses enjoyment and happiness both in and out of bed, always ending up in having full penetrative sex including ejaculation, never have or had sex with anyone but your spouse (ie Including yourself), if you are single then definitely celibate and being totally chaste in mind as well as in deed.... You can see why not many people want to throw that first stone

Just pitch up and take a pew.

The translations were all re-done recently so the Catholics all still stumble over the responses and newbies fit right in!

Obviously the abuse and cover-ups are a big stumbling block for everyone, I guess a tiny bit like being a German-speaker after the war, the whole culture and language must have felt tainted in some way

I like that point you made re. Marriage Maria. Spoke to a friend today who actually suggested trying mass since I was telling her what I'd found elsewhere. She thinks I would love it. So will def pitch up!