Un-married and pregnant, just a bit worried how my church family will react.

[EmyC]

I go to a very conservative church, and I'm just worried about their reaction to my situation. I'm engaged but things aren't quite unfolding in the right order in the 'very traditional' sense :-)
I should just pray about it, but just wondered what people thoughts are?
Many thanks.

Family love should be unconditional just like God's congratulations

MIL suggested I had an abortion, get married and do it properly. We then had a miscarriage. Not fun times.

If it was Jesus you were telling he would give you a massive hug and tell you that he'd be there for you whatever. He would support you through the pregnancy and love you unconditionally. Then he'd maybe say 'how about next time you try it my way?' with no judgement or condemnation. Not sure as I don't know ur church but I hope they'll react as Jesus would. If not, try another church who are more Christlike!! All the best xxx

When you say 'their', are there not some people you would consider yourselves close to? Or have you not been there very long? Is there any marriage preparation? I'd start by talking with the people who do that but it assumes you have an existing relationship, alternatively with your small group or an older couple you trust. Any of that an option? A church is just a bunch of people, 'their' reaction is something that ultimately will break down into the reaction of people you care about and who care about you and some people you don't know very well or at all. Start with the first group and the rest will take care of itself.

And can't imagine who in a church thinks that an abortion is an alternative to unmarried pregnancy. :(

My cousin found herself in a similar situation. She was in a very conservative Church, and her fiance belonged to an even more conservative section of the Church.

Sadly her finance found it unacceptable to marry a woman who had quite obviously had sex before marriage. So he dumped her.
He did ask the church elders for their advice first.

She got off lightly, though. He has now married a woman who lived with her partner for 8 years, who cheated on her partner with my cousins ex, and whose sister is a lesbian living in a civil partnership. No matter how conservative you are, you can always find a way in your heart and your faith to accept whatever it suits you to accept at the time. (I myself hold no judgement over gay people, but he himself had to speak out for Gay Rights and how the police embrace people of whatever sexual orientation and he said it was the worst thing he had to do as he lied through his teeth throughout the speech, hypocritical shit that he is.) Sorry for the mini rant. I dont mean to derail.

Have faith, and trust that the members of your Chruch will now show their true humane Christian colours.

I saw this and thought i would comment as I know it happened at my parents' church recently. They were very supportive of the couple concerned.

Where some church members did have an issue is where it turned out that the couple were planning to delay their planned wedding date (which would have been before the baby was born) because the mother didn't want to be pregnant at her wedding. Although they did their best not to judge, I know they felt that that was rather a 'world' choice to be making, and perhaps not the choice that would have come to the couple had they prayed it through.

Thank you ladies.
I've been a member for about 4 years now and know a few people really well, I suppose I just have such conflicting emotions at present, I feel so blessed with what God has granted me in my life, a finacee who is a wonderful God fearing man, the beginings of a baby (whom will be cherished) experiences in my life which make me stronger and empathic of others in the same situation, and which makes me draw closer to God. I feel that I have been selfish, but also feel so blessed in being a child of God and loved unconditionally.

I can see all of that. Could you share how you're feeling with the people you know really well? I'm sure they'll want to support you and care for you. That may include working through some of the reasons you feel you have been selfish and seeking God's forgiveness where necessary, but they might surprise you with their reaction!

Who are they to sit in judgement?

Well mary and joseph weren't married so you're in good company there.

Well said Novak!! - (Wasn't Joseph's either while we are on! )

I always think that pious and uber holy folk ought to be reminded to walk humbly with their God. I have been known to say to such folk that the Jesus with whom I walk, walks with me not because of my choices but in spite of them. Tell them that

You are so very blessed to carry children and God will continue to bless you - whatever decisions you mak about marriage - even if others do not. Good luck with your pregnancy EmyC

Thank you all for your kind comments. And when i do tell my church family, I'm hoping that they will be very supportive, I just worry a lot. They do teach that faith is through Grace not works, so our God is a loving God, who does, as you say love us and guide us unconditionally. I love my husband to be, and we are very thankful for what God has given us in having each other to navigate life with, and the beginnings of a family :-)

I always feel sad when people worry about what people in their church will think in these circumstances because Jesus would never have treated you any differently.