v upset by other christians in christian prayer group, wsid?

[weedsneedcutting]

I moved to a new area a year or so ago, and haven't yet managed to make (m)any friends. Then by chance I was through the friend of a friend put in touch with a woman in the village who has similar aged kids etc and we got on really well. Like her a lot.

She mentioned she goes to a prayer group once a fortnight with other mums in the village. I went along. I was the only Catholic and they all go to the same very evangelical waving arms in air and bursting into song type church, but while it's not my style I wasn't put off and enjoyed meeting s a few other women and Christians. They mentioned another member who wasn't there that day, and spoke of her drug abuse/addiction and her amazing life change and finding God and turning everything around etc etc

So, next meeting, Mondy, she was there, and her previous drug problems and amazing life change were again discussed, this time mainly by her. She is clearly a much loved and admired member of the group.

Anyway, she then proceeds to slag off Catholics, extensively on and on and on for ages. At first I couldn't believe my ears, the kept talking about 'they do this, they do that' I thought I'd misunderstood, so I asked who she meant by 'they' (cos I was also astonished she would rip to shreds another group when a member of that group was sat right there!) She told me she meant Catholics and continued. A couple of things I tried to put my pov about, but she went on and on. the others either agreed and joined in, one made a bit of an effort to say, "well, not all catholics....." answer yes but they.... and so it continued.

I then said I thought it was a shame, disharmony bwn christians, and I said imo our basic fundamentals are the same and that Christian unity was very important. That got a bit of a half hearted response. Then the carried on...

Some of the things I think she had a bit of a point on, but I fundamentally object to the sweeping "all Catholics", but lots of stuff, I guess come down to opinion/beliefs, and some I would say was just point blank wrong.

I am a couple of days later still pretty upset. Partly cos I didn't challenge the completely wrong/untrue bits. Partly cos in all my life I have never been attacked by another Christian, and now I'm not sure if I should go back (since I went, I have seen some of them about e.g. in nursery or in the street and people actually said hello to me!, so I loose my glimmer of friendship) do I have a word with my friend (but I still have only met her a few times) do I go and just politely try to defend Catholicism or ignore her comments, or just never go again?

Wow, that was long, sorry.

My comment, repeated above,was followed both by a silly remark and a wink to emphasise that it was light hearted in nature.

I have also met evangelical Christians who are vehemently opposed to Catholics. Some of their reasoning was based on false or outdated notions of the Catholic church and some was genuinely held doctrinal differences, e.g. concerning salvation. My friend also had a perception that Catholics are not Biblical (but did not realise for example, that Mass involves one if not two Bible readings as well as a reading from the Gospel.

Other than that, Catholic-bashing does indeed seem to be the last acceptable prejudice. Which isn't to say that the Catholic Church itself doesn't deserve criticism- it does in some regards and we all know what they are.

These issues come about when people stop focussing on how God would have us live and love and instead focus on their way being the "right" way - I've been involved with many different denominations including indepent and just like in all walks of life some of them piss the point of their faith at times and judge others instead of concentrating on their relationships with God.

i would tell the group that i wasn't going to come back because i didn't feel welcome.

what did they expect?

Scratch the surface perceptionreality and there it'll be...!

You say you go to your CofE church infrequently. Get a bit more involved and, I'm very sorry to say, you will find pockets of this shit whatever church you go to, whatever is preached from the pulpit.

Sad but true [bleurgh]

Agreed

ok

Friends, why are we making more division?

What do we agree on and how can we stop this misunderstanding between different groups who all believing the same God and thanks to grace have hope?

We are all humans who make mistakes and have a tendency to not get the whole picture

But we also know the Real Story, contained in the Bible about our living God

OP, please keep going to this group, and as you get to know them better, you can show them that this woman's ideas about Cathlics are wrong. Your actions will talk much better than the words of this woman.

Hebiegebies, that was much better way of saying what I tried to yet failed dismally at!

Sorry, but I disagree. If a church is like that then you find another one - simple as. I don't go very much now, but I've known the people involved with my particular church for years and went a lot more as a child and teenager. I honestly haven't seen evidence of what you say. And if I had I would not go back. I appreciate your own experience may be different but you've surely not attended every church in the UK or elsewhere?

The christians spoken about in the OP are a typical brand that I have come across at various times in my life. They are a damaging influence.

I agree that flagrant prejudice like this is not the norm except re gays but I have experienced a lot of very erm dysfunctional behaviour in the church. I've been to a fair few churches and, for some reason, outrageous behaviour/beliefs seem to pop up with depressing regularity.

If I weren't a christian, I wouldn't go to church tbh.

I also don't think it is 'division' hebie. It's reality and to gloss over the stuff that stinks is to avoid a true intimacy. Yes we forgive (it's not worth not forgiving tbh - it's the unforgiving that suffer). Love forgives and thinks the best but it isn't stupid.

I get that OP could keep going to the group and be the bigger person. But not all of us are big enough to recover from such a brutal strike.

Thank you Random, I posted and then saw what you hd written and then thought I'd just written the same but in too many words :)

It is a reality springy, but by rehashing it and using generalisations I don't think we get anywhere.

I've also found that those who are the loudest can change and see that it's not as clear cut as they thought.

I think we have to pick our battles, you can't pick up on every tiny thing or you really would be there all day. and night .

but the situation the OP describes is not tiny. It's not as if it was a passing comment - it was a tirade that went on and on, with the backing of the others. Very, very ignorant imo.

claudedebussy has it in one I think.

I've come acccross this a lot when teaching an "Equality and Diversity" class. I'm not sure if it comes from preaching in the churches or at groups like the one you describe. Or anywhere else.

I've been told in no uncertain terms by a 17 year old that Catholics are not Christians. It seems to be a common belief at some of the hand waving churches (sorry - can't think of a better term), not helped by 'Cradle Catholics' (sorry to use that term but you know what I mean) who 'convert' to these churchas and 'become Christian'.

As is the case with one of my friends, and although we get on really well we tend to not discuss her worship.

What would I do? Well I'm an atheist so I'm not going to suggest prayer. But if I was in a group with assumptions about me, that were not true I'd perhaps ask them if I could have 10 mins of their time, and prepare a statement to read (actually as a teacher it would probably be a powerpoint with imbedded music and drawings but that's me)

The statement would be along the lines of

I would like to continue to attend this group but there are some things I need to tell you about the RC church and why I believe it is right for me.

I am not trying to convert you, I respect your views and would ask that you respect mine.

I have met some lovely evangelical CHristians but in a safe pocket such as their own church or a Bible study, found this kind of attitude widespread and actually a virulent hatred of Catholicism so common that I wouldn't get involved with those groups anymore. As individuals of course but as far as their religious practice is concerned, I think it is best to steer well clear. Don't go back. You don't even have to explain, they know you are Catholic, they know they were subjecting you to a horrible direct attack and it was condoned by most of the group. It is not that they are unaware of what they were doing. It was deliberate.

Gosh. Well, I have been around evangelicals most of my life and have never come across such an attitude to Catholics. Not once. In circles I've been around it's just been like any denomination - we're all Christians, appreciate the diversity.

I don't agree at all ZZZen. How could you know it was a deliberate attack? It would take fairly vitriolic people to allow such a thing. Doesn't sound like how the OP described her friend and the groups.

it strikes me as obvious from what she has said (some post further down where she explains how it happened, might have been the OP in fact)

I agree with amici when she says that what you should do depends on your personality. I also agree with Heebie when she says that we shouldn't be fighting against each other. I think that attitudes such as the one you have described tend to grow and fester when people don't mix with and get to know others from different backgrounds and traditions. By even just getting to know some of the people in the group it is possible that their prejudices may be challenged.