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Philosophy/religion

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praying for people you dislike

55 replies

guffaw · 18/04/2012 00:18

I was advised that when I had a problem with someone, to pray for something good to happen for them, how much prayer do you think it takes until you mean it? (feeling a bit of a failure)

OP posts:
IndigoBarbie · 08/06/2012 08:33

I hope I don't offend anyone as I was not raised in any particular religion belief, although I do believe in a higher creator energy.

It depends on what you think God is - if this is a judging power, or if the plans are all laid out already and we just happen to find out with the loss and sorrow that we encounter as some kind of nasty shock. What would be the purpose?

When I am faced with a difficulty with someone else, I ask to be shown their 'deal' in life from a differing perspective - to help me deal with them. I have found this is helpful, and can aid in me being more understanding of what life circumstances have perhaps led them to behave in the way that they do. Does that make them bad people? It might, if I decided I would see them that way.

If I see a problem with someone else, then that is my problem, not theirs. I see the world through my own set of life circumstances - how could I see it any other way? It would be IMO very judging of me to say 'dear god, I pray that xxx gets better from their meanness or stops doing xxx', just because my own view on the world says that they need fixed because they are different to me. I do actually pray - I pray for everyone to receive love. I also pray that people receive their dreams and desires, like a wish list. However, I know that when someone has 'wronged' me I still find it hard but I do try hard to see where I have changed from them giving me that experience. Some things have served as catalysts in my own circumstances, that now - sometimes many years later, I can look back on and feel appreciative of even the most difficult things and say that I have learned a great deal and it's made me who I am today.

I believe that we are all souls, created from divine sparks and that we choose our lessons and the people who will assist us to learn those lessons. In turn, from our own behaviours and reactions we are helping them in some way. Believing this as I do - allows me to see behind the seeming negative aspects and traits of others and turn it around - to ask - what does this person teach me, and to also know that by being here together on earth at this time is particularly challenging, but - we are all one, we are all the same - even if we don't appear to be so.

The reason I have these beliefs is due to my own life experiences. I don't expect others to believe as I do - but everyone has their own point of view due to their own up-bringing, experiences etc, and this is turn shapes how we handle situations, hurts, losses, happiness etc I do also believe in angels, and I find asking them to help me deal with pain etc can be beneficial. Divine assistance comes along in the strangest of ways, we just can't always see the wood for the trees.

mariamariam · 09/06/2012 02:16

guffaw, there's a difference between asking God to give you grace for forgiveness (religious obligation) and genuinely getting on with/ liking someone (more of a chance thing, and you may be totally incompatible with them).

I'm not sure we can expect the second to flow from the first. Especially if every encounter makes you feel sinful (listen to her bad talk: bearing false witness; have a row: wrath; seethe inside : wrath and pride).

Physical separation is the obvious answer, recruit a chaperone, mental separation (focus 'up' eg please God help me not to hate this woman, then mentally recite something that helps, like a rosary decade or a psalm)

Am struggling with something similar, will pray for you and myself in this.

crescentmoon · 11/06/2012 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Willow33 · 02/08/2012 21:53

Hi
I think the way to move on is to ask God to heal you from the hurt that the person has caused you. You need to recognise that. It may take a a while until you are fully healed, but God is faithful.
Then you keep on praying for the person and ask God to bless them. As Springy said, bitterness will harm you and don't want any of that in you.

Viperidae · 02/08/2012 22:02

I read somewhere that forgiveness is not ours to grant, it is Gods so we should pray for Him to forgive our adversaries rather than battling to do it ourselves.

I do believe that God is like a father to us and, just as we want our children to be happy, so He wants that for us. I take this as permission to put distance between me and nasty people just as we tell children "if X is horrid to you, stay away from them" and I try to pray for God to enlighten and forgive them although sometimes it would be easier to pray for a thunderbolt

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