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Original poster

To just go to a jehovahs witness meeting?

796 replies

blobtobetter · 07/04/2012 21:05

One of the older women at work is a Jehovah's Witness. I don't really know what they are but they don't like blood or birthdays. I thought they were just another type of Christian but apparently not.

She keeps asking me to go to a meeting and I keep putting her off. Thinking now that I should just go once and then never again!?

It sounds really shallow but I wouldn't want to give up Christmas!!

Part of me wonders what it would be like. Would they be over friendly? Would they be distant as I am a heathen type? Can't imagine it really.

OP posts:
jjkm · 13/04/2012 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
blobtobetter · 13/04/2012 17:20

Are couples still encouraged not to have children?

OP posts:
WhiteShores · 13/04/2012 17:37

jjkm I agree, every religion believes their interpretation is correct. This is their official website's argument for being the one true religion www.watchtower.org/e/200803/article_01.htm

blobtobetter In practice, JWs do carry on having children as normal. But yes, there is an undercurrent of 'not getting attached' to things in this world (Satan's world), and growing roots here, as it will all be wiped away soon and there will be Paradise.

So, the ideal JW would throw all of his/her focus onto spiritual things above anything else (including family) - the preaching work and bible study, and would discard any other ambitions.

Just to be clear though, this is the very pinnacle of what JWs could be expected to aspire to, and it is generally accepted that most won't reach so high, and rather will have families, jobs, some will go for higher education (although this is frowned at as having priorities wrong).

Original poster
blobtobetter · 13/04/2012 17:40

Interesting, the other religions I have read about which also seem quite old fashioned tend to encourage having lots of children. Quiverful I think they are called.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 13/04/2012 17:45

My parents are accused of being materialist by my grandfather when they buy a new tv, laptop phone etc. Jws are couraged to live basically and not require things of this world. (better not let my grandfather know that my mum wants a iPad Wink)
I can say though that when my mum had a stroke last year, the witnesses did rally and helped my dad.

jjkm · 13/04/2012 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhiteShores · 13/04/2012 18:30

jjkm I am officially a JW (because I am unable to leave without losing my family), but do not believe any of the teachings.

I do not believe in any religion.

I'm just here to try and provide an eye into the inner workings of JW as someone who lives with them, loves them, doesn't believe any of it, but can't leave. :)

jjkm · 13/04/2012 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhiteShores · 13/04/2012 18:49

My belief can be summed up as 'I don't know any of the big answers, but I'm doing the best I can'. I guess that makes me agnostic?

I believe in being a good human being, following my heart, listening to my conscience, thinking things through, and loving as much as possible.

Original poster
blobtobetter · 14/04/2012 07:45

Is there a certain sort of person that joins JW as an adult? Sort of having common factors of life experience or character.

OP posts:
ThreadWatcher · 14/04/2012 09:05

To be blunt (apolgies but I'm on my phone and tbf bluntness is easier) yes

People who join as adults are most likely to be: naive, vulnerable, open, unaware of the history of the JWs, unaware of how those who leave are treated.
You have been given excellent advice on this thread and a very true insight into how the JWs really are. If you still choose to join, or even go to one meeting I think you are imho foolish unwise.
All actions have consequences - joining the JWs has BIG consequences.

RnB · 14/04/2012 09:14

Oh god, absolutely don't go. They are nice people, but it is practically a cult. I had the misfortune of being brought up as one. DON'T GO. Make it clear to your friend you are not interested or she will continue to hound you.

ThreadWatcher · 14/04/2012 09:24

Apologies for random 'yes' in my post.

WhiteShores · 14/04/2012 11:43

The majority of adult-joining JWs that I have ever known have generally been very sweet, overly trusting, feeling a bit lost in life or going through a hard time (bereavement, etc.), and lonely (which makes the JW social community very appealing).

stressedHEmum · 14/04/2012 12:21

I agree with WhiteShores. Most adult converts are people who are a bit lost or vulnerable in some way, as I've said repeatedly on this thread. JWs tend to look out for this kind of thing (generally with good intentions, to be fair) and home in on it. So you frequently find people with problems/illness/bereavement or people who are a bit easily lead or lonely.

Individual Jws think that they are doing people a favour and are acting out of concern for your chances of everlasting life. If you have lost a child or partner it is very comforting to be told that you can meet them again in a situation where there will never be any more death, sickness, tears etc. The only catch is that you have to obey every one of the rules as laid out by the Watchtower society, who are speaking with the voice of God.

Codandchops · 14/04/2012 12:41

Got back from shopping to find the local friendly JW's on my doorstep. Had a chat and took Awake plus a booklet regarding their beliefs with regard to Jesus..

They know I have recently been Confirmed as Catholic but I still feel able to talk to them. I have never yet invited them in mainly- because the house is a mess-- I don't want to get into too much debate. On the other hand they went to no other house and I think came to see me specially Grin.

I will read their booklet and see exactly what they believe about Jesus.

stressedHEmum · 14/04/2012 12:58

Cod, if you have taken magazines/chatted with them in the past then it is very likely that they will have come to see you specially. It will have been noted that you were "interested".

Jws have to meet all their targets for magazine placements, call backs and the like, so people who have been receptive to them once are "targeted". Again, out of concern for your chances at eternal life but also out of a desire to make up the numbers because these are regularly reported up the chain of command and good numbers is the way to a good name in the congregation and to be viewed as strong in the faith.

WhiteShores · 14/04/2012 13:13

Just to shed a little light on how the preaching works... the local community is divided up into little laminated maps called 'territories'. These are then distributed to groups of preaching JWs in rotation.

The aim is to knock on every door in your assigned 'territory' before you get assigned the next one in the rotation.

A record is kept of every publication that is placed with someone (and where). The people who accept publications have their addresses noted down so that they can be called on again sooner (this will be marked down as a return visit), and are essentially flagged up as 'interested'.

It is desirable to have as many 'return visits' as possible. These will then be regularly called on and left a stream of literature (like a regular subscription) while the caller builds rapport with the person. Sooner or later they will start asking/inviting you to have a bible study.

JWs also keep a list of 'do not calls' with each territory, which are people who have specifically requested to be put on the 'do not call' list (you pretty much have to word it like that), or are ex-witnesses/apostates etc (which are dealt with more carefully by the elders).

WhiteShores · 14/04/2012 13:16

Oh, I should also add, people who don't answer the door or aren't home are also marked down as 'not home', and will be called on more regularly (in an attempt to find the person home).

A territory is not really considered cleared until someone has been spoken to at every house. If you want to minimise calls, the best way is to answer the door, simply say 'not interested, thanks' politely and close it again.

If you either don't answer the door at all, or accept literature from them, you'll have more regular visits.

stressedHEmum · 14/04/2012 13:23

So, as you can see, the best approach is just to not engage at all. Even a doorstep chat will be taken as interest and will mean loads of call backs. As White says, return visits are very important and will continue indefinitely unless the person very bluntly asks to be put on the do not call list, preferably in writing.

A simple thing like accepting a magazine of leaflet can and does lead to being targeted, so Blob has done something which will most definitely lead to her friend at work pursuing her interest more strongly.

Original poster
blobtobetter · 14/04/2012 13:46

They don't come to the house - my parents would have a fit! I do believe they once knocked on the door when my father was on nights - the dog went nutty and woke him up so I don't think he was too friendly. Have seen people that I assume were JWs but they go to other houses down the street.

It all sounds very organised! I thought they would just pick a street and knock on all the doors - didn't realise about all the records.

OP posts:
WhiteShores · 14/04/2012 13:58

It is very organised. Each publisher (preacher) also keeps his/her own personal record of: how many hours preached, how many publications handed out (and what types), how many return visits, and how many bible studies.

These get handed in to the elders monthly, who then hand them in to the Governing Body (who compile all the statistics).

You get placed in certain categories depending on how many hours you do preaching - Publisher (standard), Auxillary Pioneer, Pioneer, Special Pioneer.

Codandchops · 14/04/2012 13:58

To be honest I have NO problem talking to them but have no intention of taking things any further than that. I will tell them that as well BUT if despite knowing this they still want to share their thoughts with me that's fine.

BelaLug0si · 14/04/2012 14:08

The "do not call" list doesn't work very well round here as we regularly get visits.
It's been fascinating to see the reaction of the witness at the door when I tell them we're not interested. There's usually a slight step back when they're told DH was disfellowshipped; mostly then I get asked if I would be interested. Sometimes they can't get away fast enough like it's catching. Either way we thought we'd made it clear it's a waste of their time but apparently not. Very odd.

DH spent much of his childhood doing the door to door with his parents. As mentioned on a previous thread this sadly meant he was exposed to some incredibly sad and challenging environments. A significant proportion of people of have regular bible study visits are lonely, have mental health issues etc and really isn't a suitable place for a child.

WhiteShores · 14/04/2012 14:26

Codandchops They are probably very grateful to have someone speaking to them in a friendly way (and I think it is kind of you to do so).

It really isn't easy being a preaching JW. You are genuinely trying to 'save' the people you speak to and bring them into Jehovah's protection (JWs use the illustration - if you saw your neighbour's house on fire, wouldn't you go and warn him).

Speaking from past experience, it is a little bit scary anyway knocking on people's doors. There is a lot of door-slamming, insults, threats, etc. and JWs are only human themselves, if they find a smile and a polite conversation, it makes the day a lot brighter. The people are very well-meaning, and generally do not understand the hostility towards the organisation's more damaging practices.