Question for the Catholics about family planning

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About contraception really Is it possible to use NFP when approaching the menopause? Is contraception widely used by other Catholic women? Been abstaining since having taken first communion, but now worrying about what to do

Put it this way. Here in Italy there is the lowest birth rate in the western world.

And that's not because the men are all at mass all week.

I've been here 18yrs almost, and every woman I know uses contraception, natural or chemical.

The days gone by are gone.

Hmm, just worrying and feeling guilty about what to do next. Am booked in for implant sterilisation in June

Hi, yes it is possible at any stage including leading up to menopause but the best way to learn nfp is to be taught by a couple who use it themselves. Link here to an organisation called the couple to couple league www.cclgb.org.uk/. Their courses are very thorough, scientifically based and compatible with catholic teaching. hth.

ccli.org/ link to the US branch also has a specific guide listed for premenopause "The Art of Natural Family Planning® Premenopause Guide"

We used condoms, and then DH had a vasectomy...

We use condoms. I never really understood the church's opposition to using them within marriage.

I know some families where the husband had a vasectomy once they'd had 2 or 3 kids.

I use condoms, my Mum used the pill until my dad had a vasectomy, don't ask me how I know this about my parents I have burried this information very deeply, lets just say alcohol was involved.

"Don't use artificial contraception" Making Catholic Sex Sexy Not just for Catholics

"NFP is a mixed blessing" Is NFP worth it?

"Just make up your own mind" Catholics for choice

And if your DH is not on-board with the whole Catholic thing, then simply to convert and start abstaining without his full agreement might be a sin in itself

He respects my beliefs and what the church teaches. He's a Christian, but not a Catholic. He doesn't want any more dcs either I can't see that NFP is in any way relaxing though. It must be terrifying every month waiting to see if anything has happened

Widespread use of contraception must be the worst-kept secret in the western Catholic church, surely? Priests stand there looking at the congregation every week, it cannot have escaped their notice that families do not have 10, 12, 15 dc. Only the most elderly and/or naive priests could possibly be under the illusion that all these couples are sub-fertile, very good at counting to 28, or regularly go to bed with a cup of cocoa to hold hands and think pure thoughts?

Lots of priests think that the 1968 encyclical against artificial contraception was a catastrophic own-goal on the part of the Catholic hierarchy. Obviously they cannot afford to say that in public, but I'm sure a large majority think it.

IME (and yes, I have had this conversation with many of my friends) most pre-menopausal Catholic women who have completed their families send their dh's off for a vasectomy. That reduces the sinfulness to a one-off rather than a regular occurrence, and has the added bonus of delegating any residual guilt to the male of the species. Win-win.

I think contraception is probably widely used (although I have no actual factual evidence). Had a discussion about this with our local Num and the Priest during a discussion group. Both said that in their opinion the church should not be interfering in people's marriages as many couples consisted of only one Catholic.

Ultimately your own individual conscience must be the final hurdle for you. In a marriage, your spouse's thoughts on this matter have to also be taken into account and in this case your H isn't on board with the Catholic view of things. It's a very murky area.

Speaking as a Catholic who used nfp but who had a horrible relationship with exH who turned out to be either gay or bi, I never found nfp to be the net plus for the relationship that it is presented as, nor did I find that it was really workable from the pov of my enjoyment of the sexual side of our relationship (such as it was, given that exH wasn't that into me). My cycles were never regular, extended breastfeeding meant no cycles at all for years at a stretch (so nfp was hard to follow without feeling very nervous all the time) and exH's inability to discuss conflicts or pay any attention to concerns of mine meant we were never really on the same page about anything, let alone nfp/managing fertility (that aspect of things wasn't the fault of nfp or the Catholic church). I suspect things might have been different if exH had been a different sort of person or if I had had regular cycles but I didn't and he wasn't.

Codandchops, I think a lot of priests hold that view even for all-Catholic marriages. They are inclined to weigh many factors besides just Humanae Vitae including concern for health (related to age) and the financial resources of the family to adequately and responsibly care for children including children already born.

I am (rather lapsed but nonetheless still) RC. It has never crossed my mind not to use contraception, and I know the other women in my family use it, too. Even my dear devout old Mum made sure I knew how to look after myself once I hit 16 (now THAT was the world's most awkward conversation...).

DH is CofE - we married in an RC church, once the priest established that we wanted to have children at some point, the subject of contraception never came up. Priest then baptised our DS 3 years later, not a whisper about the time lapse or any further DCs.

My (catholic) school sex education covered contraception in huge detail, and was, after all, funded and controlled by the Diocese, and therefore I took that as the reality of life for lots of RCs now. At least the ones I went to school with!!

I am Catholic, DH is not but comes to Mass with us (we have two DDs and am
pregnant with DC3).
I use the pill and have done throughout our relationship. I have a strong Catholic faith but felt that financial situation/health etc for me was more important than obeying the non artificial contraception rule.
Both DDs were planned but DC3 was a nice surprise after I had come off the pill as it wasn't agreeing with me. We used a condom but clearly something went wrong .

Just proves to me how much I need artificial contraception as we are very very lucky and fell pregnant first month of trying with both DDs and then accidentally again as soon as I stopped taking the pill. All three will have been conceived and born within 5 and a half years so I dread to think how many DC we would have before menopause if we DIDN'T use contraception!
DH will be heading for a vasectomy at the end of the year

I'm a Christian but not catholic, DH is catholic. I am on the pill and have been throughout our marriage ( not including the breaks for DD and DS ) As DH says, it would be irresponsible to have 5,6,7... children when you can't afford them and would be a large burden on the state.

This might give you some idea of the Catholic stance on contraception

www.catholic.com/tracts/birth-control