Catholics: Practical advice regards to 1st Communion

[QuintessentialyHollow]

I am in the happy situation that I am about to organize my very first ever 1st Communion party for my son. Not being a Catholic myself, and with a husband who just says "Party? what for? Dont worry, we just order a few cakes", I am not quite sure what the etiquette is.

Going by how a Norwegian Confirmation is done, it is:
Church
Dinner out for God Parents and select close family
Cake served at home.

How is a 1st Communion celebration conducted here? What do people normally do?

Normally after the Mass the church puts on a lunch/tea for the Communicants and families. Depending on how big the church is, you might not get all the family in, but it's common round here for the extended family to come and stand at the back/in the choir loft/ in the hall! There's individual, class and family pictures taken after Mass, so you can be there for quite a while!

Most people either go to a hotel/ pub and have a meal, or a small buffet in the house afterwards. It's quite normal here (Glasgow) to have a cake made and iced with a cross, name and date etc.

Forgot to say Good luck and congratulations! I'm sure you'll have a lovely day.

In my part of London suburbia they no longer have the group breakfast and the children's families do their own thing after the mass. Many people have a party- they sometimes hire a hall or have a party at home. Joint parties are quite popular too.

It depends a lot on the size of the community. In our parish because there are over 100 hundred children the first communion is just for the children and their families and takes place at 5 different masses. There is a parish wide celebration at a later date called 'going forth' where all the children are together. For us first communion itself takes place for about 20 children and their families, there are photo's afterwards but that is it. People then celebrate with their families either with a party at home of going to a restaurant. Why not ask some of your sons friends what they do, some of them will have older siblings so have an idea what happens. Forgot to say we had a special cake too.

Who is usually invited to the meal?
Just family and God parents? Or do the children invite friends? My son is 9, so a bit out of the year group, but his classmates are quite keen on his communion. ..

We are south west London, and in our Church, the group is quite small, and spread out across the entire month, so maybe just 4-5 children in each group.

Can I get away with just organizing First Communion Afternoon Tea at a Gastro pub with garden? Or must it be dinner?

I am in the same boat! dd (7) is making her first communion in May, and I am determined (despite her protests!) to keep it simple.

At least you didn't have to endure the dress-shopping debacle! Apparently everyone else had their dress in January Some of the mums go to ridiculous lengths here- I've heard of people going abroad to buy a dress to make sure noone will have one the same! Finally got dd's last Saturday. Plain but lovely- but it still cost a bloody fortune!! And that was with me veto-ing the tiara (although apparently everyone else will have one!) and the veil!

DD asked me if she would be going to the hairdressers to get her hair done on the morning (no!), if we would be having a photographer (!!! Erm, no), if she would be getting a 3 tier cake (NO!) These ideas seem to be coming from her classmates, so she felt a little hard done-by, but I can't stand the way first communions around here seem to be turning into mini weddings.

We will be having family and a few close friends back to the house for a buffet style lunch and a few glasses of wine. The kids can play on the trampoline (hopefully the weather will be nice!) I'm bucking the trend a little, as my cousins have hired function rooms, hals, disco units etc, but I think it goes a bit OTT, and isn't really my thing. I'll buy a cake and decorate it. Might borrow a marquee/ gazebo thing from a friend so we can be outside if the weather is nice.

Don't worry about what other people are doing! And enjoy!

We are currently in rented accommodation (until our tenants contract is up later this year), and the garden is small and shady, and "entertaining space" not great. But there is a really nice little gastro pub 10 minutes walk away, so thought maybe we could have something there.

We wont be a big group. 15 in total I reckon, as we dont have much family here. The youngest will be 6 months old, and the oldest "child" 17.

I remember when my niece (now 17) had her first Communion, in the most Northern Catholic parish in the world, parents of girls had to buy dresses abroad, there were no shops that sold anything related to the first communion. The local bookshop stocked a few cards, but they were Catholics. My dh arranged with a tailor in his native Poland to make niece a dress, with Tiara and all, based on rigorous and detailed measurements send by post! It cost £80. It was gorgeous. She really did look like a little princess. Nobody had veils!

And that was my only ever experience of a First Communion party celebration.

Watching with interest. Ds1(8) is having his 1st communion soon. No idea what there date is yet. No idea what we are doing yet. But I refuse to get into trying to out-do any of his classmates. Plus we have such a huge family, so maybe it is best if we have it at home. Still haven't got him a suit. will probably get a cake organised soon.

Afternoon tea or a buffet for family / friends is ideal.

I think my current way of thinking is a meal at the gastro pub for family and godparents, then home to coffee and cake, and his friends can join us.

Simple buffet and not too many people, home for coffee and cake sounds fine.

Having said that I never did anything beyond a brunch for closest family at a brunch place. The school provided a festive breakfast the Monday after all the communicants had finally all made their First Communion (two weekends, 122 children in all).

My mum made a dress for DD1 many years ago, from a pattern that DD1 liked, and a veil, and she bought a pearly/floral headdress to keep the veil in place. I sent detailed measurements to Ireland, along with fabrics, and mum came over bearing the dress a few months later, with a few days to make the veil and take in the dress a little. The other three DDs all wore the same dress and veil but I had to get different shoes for each of them. DS wore a little pair of tan pants with a white shirt and a navy jacket. Got lots of wear out of the pants afterwards.

This'll be the third year we've celebrated First Communion, this is DD's turn, so the first time with dressing up involved! We've managed to get a dress & cardigan (John Lewis bridalwear sale) shoes (ebay) and veil (Monsoon) for around £50 by shopping around and avoiding the specialist shops. Our lovely mobile hairdresser has booked out the morning for me, DD and a couple of her friends and their mums, so the girls can have up-dos.

There are about 50 children, split over two days in early May. The church organises a photographer. A couple of weeks later they all dress up again and go to a normal Sunday mass altogether, with 'breakfast' in the parish hall, gifts for the catechists, and a cake. This is the children's chance to party with their friends.

On the communion day itself, we'll probably invite friends and family back to our house for a casual BBQ or buffet, depending on the weather forecast.