Buddhism help please

[Shakey1500]

Hello everyone, I'm not sure anyone can help. I am feeling a bit lost at the moment, depression rearing ugly head again, lack of control blah blah.

I "feel" like I need a connection with something. Someone mentioned "mindfulness" to me yesterday and I have come across the word again, today. Coincidence I know but made me stop and think. So I have googled and discovered it is linked to Buddhism. I do not believe in God and will confess to being completely ignorant on most things religious/spiritual. However, the little I do know about Buddhism (which isn't much) has always sat well with me. I feel it is peaceful. And I'm feeling like I'm being drawn somehow. Maybe this is the right time for me to look further. I don't know, my head is all over the place at the moment and I'm even sobbing writing this ffs.

Anhow, can anyone recommend a beginners guide so to speak? Thanks

I'm sorry to hear you're down. I don't know much about buddhism but I recommend this: www.getsomeheadspace.com/ it's mindfulness, meditation techniques etc. Reflection and mindfulness of your feelings and reactions and thoughts will have a really positive effect on your mental health, increases clarity so you're able to understand yourself a lot better IYSWIM?

I hope you feel better soon.

I'm a Christian and also practice mindfulness daily - it's a meditation technique not part of any religion.

Thank you both

Shakey

shakey, it is beautiful that you are being drawn to spiritual enquiry, to mindfulness.... please honour this and follow it to where it might lead you...

when you mentioned mindfulness and buddhism i thought that you might like to read something by thich nhat hanh, a wonderful vietnamese buddhist monk whose teachings are incredibly accessible and relevant to our modern lives... check him out on amazon, i have several books by him but one 'present moment wonderful moment' is about bringing mindfulness into our daily activities in simple accessible ways....

you mention feeling out of control etc, and tuning into mindfulness is a way to bring that control back, control of ourselves in the crazy life situations that we find ourselves in, control of speech, action, and thought....

another wonderful buddhist teacher is jack kornfield, maybe google him too and see what you find.... he has written some beautiful books that really speak to the heart....

you could also try finding a picture of HH Dalai Lama and looking into his eyes - his love, his laughter, his happiness, are palpable.... buddhism works! check out any of his interviews. some of his books might be a bit technical but the first one i read was 'the way to freedom'.... its great...

good luck.... enjoy the journey.... it is the most precious one there is.....

masuki many many thanks for your words and recommendations. I have ordered Present Moment, Wonderful Moment and The Way To Freedom from Amazon and will look forward to reading them.

Shakey, when I read your post I thought for a moment I'd written it and forgotten - I'm in a very similar place to you re depression/looking for mindfulness and have felt drawn to Buddhism for some time. I've read a little online but have never really known where to begin, so the book suggestions you got are now on my amazon wishlist. Hopefully we'll both find some peace.

Let's hope so CatPower

The books arrived today, I shall save this thread and let you know how I get on. I was going to say something along the lines of "Let's share this journey together" the realised that it might come across as a bit weird, creepy

Shakey - sorry to hear you've been feeling a little lost at the moment, don't worry we all have these sorts of moments. The good news is MN is here to help! Thanks to this thread I've met some wonderful people and have been referred to some wonderful books on Buddhism, mindfulness and meditation and I no longer feel lost. Forgive me for bombarding you with a pile of books / websites but they may help.

1. www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286

I remember that a couple of years ago a lot of MNers worked their way through this book together.

1. There are lots of mindfulness courses around the country and you can do online courses. e.g.: www.bemindfulonline.com/

I started the Headspace course and enjoyed it but never finished it... I'm currently doing a free one in which you are send some reading and audio is downloaded, then you submit weekly reports and the teacher (based in Hawaii) replies with really useful suggestions. He's v encouraging ad I like the interaction and reading reports submitted by other students. THe course is free but they like donations to the very worthy charity, Medecins Sans Frontiers sites.google.com/site/mindfulnessonlinecourse/ I started this course recently as I was feeling rather low and I've found that after 3 weeks it's really helped. In particular I like the loving kindness (metta) meditation which helps you forgive yourself and all around -it's v soothing.

1. Thich Naht Hanh is visiting the UK in March. www.mindfulnessretreats.org.uk/

You may want to come along to the meditation event at Trafalgar Square. It's free! If you want to look at the Mindfulness Bell magazine it can be found here: www.mindfulnessbell.org/index.php

1. FINALLY.... a lovely book I've just discovered which is short and sweet and a must read for all busy parents is: Buddhism for Parents on the Go by Sarah Napthali. It's full of lots of gems of advice on how to be mindful whilst dealing with the daily stresses of raising children, work, life etc.... If you buy just one book - it's got to be this. (It's funny as well - especially the section on kids homework!)

www.amazon.co.uk/Buddhism-Parents-Go-Sarah-Napthali/dp/1742374956/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1331326091&sr=8-2

Do keep posting and let us know how you get on.
Metta
WW

Hi Shakey, I have been practising mindfulness for a few months, having been introduced to the concept through yoga, which opened a door to a new way of thinking for me. I don't know much about buddhism, but felt drawn to the concept of mindfulness, and try to make it part of my daily life. It can help in so many ways, and I really hope you find some use and comfort from it. MN also helps! Look into it, try it out, be open minded. Keep posting, will be interested in your journey.

Mindfulness and sitting meditation have transformed my life - Shakey, I have also had my fair share of anxiety and depression. If you can Shakey, I recommend finding a good meditation group to go sit with, it really helps. There are lots out there, a world directory is available here: www.buddhanet.info/wbd/index.php. Good luck - some good books recommended by WW, one I think is useful for beginners is 'Buddhism Plain and Simple' by Steve Hagen - www.amazon.co.uk/Buddhism-Plain-Simple-Arkana-Steve/dp/0140195963/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331328837&sr=8-1

Good luck !

messed up the links - apologies!

shakey, catpower, so glad you ordered the books, i hope they help you on your quest for peace,,,, there are many other lovely recommendations now on this thread for you too, lovely mumsnet, but i am happy to suggest other beautiful books for your heart if you would like.....
i am just reading eckhart tolle 'a new earth' - he has such a beautiful way with words to bring us into the present moment.... into true no-mind-fulness...! you might also enjoy his teachings....
xxx

Hi masuki - I have been to see Eckhart a few times - for me the Power of Now is his ultimate book, but I have read A new Earth. Eckhart is not a buddhist as such, but most of what he says are similar to general principles of present moment awareness, mindfulness, compassion and letting go. He is the real deal.

cockneydad what do you feel you gain from going to a group? I've been meditating on and off for years, and daily since last summer, but I feel like I've never really 'got it', and while I look forward to doing my yoga in the morning, the meditation has remained a chore for me. I'd like to go to a group but am a bit worried that it will be too ritualised for me (plus my DH will be very sceptical about it, hmm). I don't know anyone else who meditates, although my friend is starting to be interested but not sure how she'd feel about going to a group either.

Hi Philbee - it is hard to put into words, but it does seem to be the case that meditating in a group makes it a little easier to get into, plus you can have a chat about how the practice is going and can swap tips / ideas / experiences. It really helps to have an experienced teacher to talk to as well, as different people have different experiences when they meditate and sometimes its good to have someone to ask if you run into any questions / problems (and also to receive good instruction - which is vital). I sit with a class that is part of the Samatha trust (they have a website). They teach breathing meditation in a series of gradual steps which lead to quite deep states of concentration and calm (Samatha loosely means 'tranquility'). There are a lot of buddhist and other meditation groups out there, it takes a while to fine one that suits your personality. My class is loosely buddhist (and I think of myself as a follower of buddha's teaching), but it is not dogmatic/preachy and is open to all - the emphasis is more on the meditation method than philosophy/ beliefs. I have been to other classes in the past and had the experience (like you) that I wasn't 'getting it'. Some meditation classes/centres can be more 'religious' or ritualistic and often you get little in the way of detailed instruction. True buddhism is based in developing mindfulness (in everyday life and when sitting) and learning to let go of a lot of negative mind stuff. It shouldn't (at least to me) be some mystical, ritualistic thing (I am a professional scientist by the way!). Hope that helps - any problems / questions feel free to send me a message.

Thank you. I checked out the Buddhanet website and found a couple near me. I hope to try one out after the Easter break. Its funny how for years you think these things aren't for you and then suddenly one day they are. I've found the idea of meditation groups a bit creepy in the past, but I'm really looking forward to going now.

No problem philbee - the key thing is to check out a couple of places and see what you think, it takes all sorts and there are numerous approaches to meditation, so don't be put off if the first place you try seems to not to be for you. I have known many meditators over the years, ranging from true spiritual practitioners to ex-hippy types, to scientists and engineers and people overcoming grief or chronic pain, or learning to deal with stress / anxiety. Good luck !

Thanks. I think that, having said for years that practising yoga and meditation was just about relaxation for me, actually it is now taking on a more significant role in my life. I've been reading some bits and pieces about Buddhism and almost all of it just has that real 'eureka' quality where it makes absolute sense to me. I guess a lot of it is common sense really. But things I have been thinking over the last year or so I am finding reflected in what I read. I think that it is as they say in yoga, the gross practice leads to the finer practice. Thanks again. That Buddhanet site is really great, btw.

You are very welcome Philbee - I know what you mean about the 'eureka' quality! Your yoga training will really help getting into the deeper meditation states too - most of the 'hard core' meditation teachers I have met have also done a fair bit of yoga / tai chi / qigong or martial arts. I used to do a fair bit of tai chi, now just a little qigong when the mood arises !