Christians - GF or AP?

[Nyunya]

Hello, this is the first time I have posted in this topic, but I'm interested to see what you think.

I have a number of friends who have adopted either the 'Gina Ford' approach, or the Attachment Parenting approach (or a modified version of either), and used various different arguments to back up their decision.

For example: Those following GF say that as Christians they feel they need to teach their children that the world does not revolve around them. And those following the AP route talk about parenting being a picture of how we need to depend on the Lord, and also about nurturing/caring for the child in the most sensitive way, being very emotionally responsive etc.

I guess my questions are: as a Christian, have you followed either of these approaches, and if so, did you have any reasoning behind your choice? Also, what do you think about these arguments? And have you come across anyone who has made a similar decision and cited their reasons?

Just interested to see what you think!

Um, honestly, I think that people choose the approach that fits in with their overall view of life/themselves, and either vaguely matches how they were raised, or else is the complete opposite, and then come up with justifications for it after the choice is already made, rather than genuinely looking at the theory first and then choosing an approach!

If people can come up with "Christian" arguments for both GF and AP, I think it proves that there isn't anything convincingly "Christian" about either approach.

Personally I went with a "vaguely what my parents did" approach, as I think they did a decent job of it. But I don't think my Christianity made any particular difference to that choice.

I liked the idea of Gina's approach, but I couldn't make it work in reality. I've heard a bit about AP, and it sounds like it could be completely loopy or it could be quite common sense - treating the child like a real person with real thoughts and emotions?

Anyway, these are just two possibilities in a thousand - probably on a spectrum with those two at the extremes. I'm sure neither is better than the other, but, delivered with love and prayer, they can both help the child to learn about God, his world and their place in it.

I think I was just interested as GF and AP are so far apart in their ideas - as you say lost, and it seemed rather curious that both were 'justified' using Christian arguments.

And AMum I love that thought that if you have to find a Christian argument for it, it shows that neither are convincingly Christian!

Well, I did feel that my AP approach was informed by my faith. Especially the idea of gentleness, which does not get talked about much, but I did feel that God gave me the strength to treat my children with gentleness, even when I felt I was at the end of my tether. Also, I felt that self sacrifice (on my part) for the sake of this tiny person feeling loved and secure was easier for me because I meitated on Jesus' self sacrifice.

Having said that, I know many Christians who have a more GF approach. I think they are wrong, tbh (but obviously don't tell them so!) but I don't think it makes them any less 'Christian' than me.

Would guess that Mary and Joseph didn't follow either extreme....

Well, I suppose Jesus probably had cloth nappies, was breastfed till toddler plus, was carried rather than put in a buggy, slept in same room (stable).

but then He was definitely swaddled, laid in a manger, unlikely to have been let throw and waste lots of food had baby-led first solids...

I'm somewhere towards the AP end of the spectrum but not completely and not to the extent of UP - I think children do need to learn to be obedient and to follow instructions without having everything explained and justified to them. I hope that my children feel secure and trust me and that I do things in their best interests even if they don't like it at the time. Currently battling with DS over eating and sitting at the table at meal times - he is a very determined 3 yr old whose favourite phrase (in many contexts) is "No, I don't want to."

No I don't think there is a 'right way' of parenting, as every child differs (in fact I don't think there is even a particular 'right way' for a particular child.) I think maria's point just goes to show that so many parenting decisions are cultural, rather than universal. I was just fascinated by the way my different friends justified their decisions.

I must admit I wasn't really thinking 'which one is right, and which is wrong?' when I started this discussion, I was just observing that it was interesting and wondering if anyone else thought so too!