Changing Faiths?

[twinklingfairy]

Not sure if it is really changing Faiths.
I am quite confused.
Brought up Catholic but have never claimed to be a catholic always told people that I was 'brought up catholic'.
Now that I have LOs (DD5, DS 3) DParents are asking when I will be taking them along. I have managed to simply avoid it hus far just by saying they are too young to take anything in. But gave them the line that I would start when DD was in school.
The time has come and I really don't want to.
Now, it is christmas and I am expected to be there Christmas morning 9am.
My 2 are sleepers, they don't get up until after 8 most days so Santa would have to wait. I don't think that is fair when we are neither followers or regular attenders. To me it seems hypocritical to turn up on Christmas day after having not attended all year.
Regardless of that, I just don't feel comfortable in that church
It makes me feel full of guilt and I can never sing for having my throat bunged with tears.
That can't be right?

So, because my parents asked, I have looked into myself and wondered how I feel. How I would feel if they were to grow up with no faith and decided that it doesn't sit right. But nor does taking them to a church that does not make me feel good about me.

I looked into my own churches, in particular those near to me or in the neighbouring villages.
Tried out 2 and have found that one of them has a lovely welcoming feel and I have very much enjoyed teh services I have attended.

My problem is that I discussed it with my Dsis and regret it. I did not realise how strong her belief was in the faith we were brought up in and now feel that I will be disappointing my parents whilst also being judged by my Dsis.

And this is where my irk lies.
I always thought ours was the better faith, as I grew up. All the rest were.......well, I don't know but I just thought we had it right.
I now cannot stand to think that I was so self righteous

Dsis and DM have no such worries, it seems.
When I mentioned to DM that we would be going to this other church for Christmas services she recoiled saying 'Why would you go to someone elses church?'
Dsis just thinks I haven't a clue what I am talking about.
There is truth in that. I have no idea what it is to be Catholic, nor do I fully know what it is to be Ch of S. Precisely why I have never claimed to be a catholic.

Should you change faiths if you still know nothing about either?
Or is it enough that it makes me feel good, as in happy, by being there for an hour?

I church hop all the time! :)

You've got to do what feels right for you and your family. If you love the other church, go.

I don't think it is a crime to church hop or change your mind about your beliefs/faith. Also having children really makes you re assess what you believe because the pesky things can ask some hard interesting questions.

But I don't think it is your children who are putting you under pressure here I think it is your family. You need to come up with something along the lines of "DP and I have decided . . . and that is what we are happy with at this stage."

As a family we have done some serious church hopping and have had to defend our decisions to both our families at different times. The important thing is know what you want and be firm with any interference. It is okay to say "I don't know yet" in answer to any questions too. Just take the time to decide what you want (and it sounds like you enjoy your current church which is a good reason) so have an answer.

Why don't you start by looking in to the faith you were born in to and see what you agree and disagree with?

Roman Catholics often have a problem with the idea - like you say, you tend to be brought up to think yours is the only "proper" version of Christianity, and everyone else is doing it wrong. But I think you have to make choices for yourself as you get older, and if you prefer the local CofS church and feel welcome there, then you should go there and your mum and sis will just have to put up with it!

It's all Jesus after all, its not like you suddenyl turned round and said you'd decided to change faiths completely!

But you may have a whole big cutural loyalty thing to get past with your family, specially if you grew up in a very RC community, as its not so much about what exactly the church teaches but an "us and them" thing in big chunks of Scotland, I'm afraid.

I think it's well worth church.hopping until.you find the right church for you and your family. I would also suggest trying to find an Alpha course so you can discuss and ask lots of questions about your faith in a safe environment. Good luck!

I used to be RC and became an Anglican. Like AMiS says, I was brought up to believe any other denomination was second best, that Catholicism is the only faith handed down from the apostles, and that gave me some angst. My mum and RC best friend thought "it was better than nothing" . But I am happy where I am :)

After spending 2 hours on the phone to Dsis explaining my thoughts and reasonings, ending up in tears. She still text to suggest that she and mum take my DD to RC mass at 8pm christmas eve.
Clearly I wasted my breath in my attempts to explain my feelings because she rounded off the texts by saying that I 'clearly thought that the RC church was crap as were its timings'
I have never said anything of the sort, well, apart from the timings, they are crap. But I have not said that the RC church is and found it shocking that she would put such words down as my thought son the matter

Spoke to my mother tonight re not going to her on Christmas day. She said she was still cross that I would not be taking DD to church on christmas day.
I replied that I would, in my village.
Going on to say that I would not be taking her to the RC church because it was not a place that made me feel happy. Whether that was the priests doing or all in my own head. If it did not make me happy to do it, why would I take DD?
Perhaps if a new priest was to replace this one (a lot of people no longer attend because of this mans ways) then maybe I would reconsider but in the mean time to be assured that DD would not be lacking in the teachings of religion and all that is important to me.

She seemed to accept it and I certainly feel a whole lot better for my honesty.
Who knows if it will come up again but, for now, I am happy that my decision has been accepted.

Oh, I'm glad Twinkling !

Merry Christmas.

Oh well done!

Yes, it will crop up again, but you've done the hardest bit, well done :). How was it on Christmas day?