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Original poster

Is going to church a chore?

43 replies

Bumperlicioso · 25/09/2011 19:39

I'm an atheist, just so's you know. But I spent the a large part of my childhood in Sunday schools.

I was just wondering if those of you who go to church see it as a chore, a necessity or something you look forward. I couldn't imagine, now I have the choice, dragging myself to church every Sunday morning. Do you go without fail? Do you not bother if you don't fancy it? What makes you go? Could you be a good Christian if you didn't go? If not, why not?

I hope no one sees this post as inflammatory. It's really not intended to be. I'm just wondering why people chose to go when they don't have to (and really some services are really boring!). Is it some sort of childhood guilt, the same one that makes you eat your sandwiches before your biscuit even though you don't have to because your mum is not the boss anymore?! Grin

OP posts:
TotallyUnheardOf · 25/09/2011 20:11

I go because I want to: I look forward to it as a moment of calm reflection in a hectic life, as well as a chance to connect on a deeper level with a faith that is part of my life all the time, but more in the background (iyswim). I also take my dd(9), who also looks forward to it and asks to go.

If I am away from home or have someone staying with us for the weekend or can't get there for some other reason then it doesn't worry me, but I do miss it. As I said above, my faith is part of my life all the time, whether I am in church or not (so I guess that, yes, I am still a Christian if I don't go for a while...), but going to church kind of cements it. I think it's important to recognise that 'the Church' is a group of people, rather than a building, so the fact of being in a place where other Christians are and sharing worship and communion with them is also really important. (And it's not that I have friends there - I don't see anyone from church outside the services - but the idea that 'though we are many, we are one body, because we all share in one bread' means a lot to me).

Incidentally, 18 months ago I'd have answered your question totally differently. I also went to church as a child/teen because my mum did... I started going again for quite trivial reasons (long story, but basically ended up living abroad, dds were in a Catholic school on a temporary basis and I thought it'd be less of a shock to them if we went to church - though I'm Anglican, not Catholic) and slowly (not immediately or in a lightning bolt from Heaven) I rediscovered my faith.

(I love your sandwiches before biscuit analogy though... Maybe I'm just deeply conformist, because it would feel just plain wrong to me to eat my biscuit first.)

Original poster
Bumperlicioso · 25/09/2011 20:31

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I'd hadn't thought about this bit 'look forward to it as a moment of calm reflection in a hectic life'. I guess it's a bit like meditation. And I suppose if you have faith it is uplifting and energising.

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mrsgboring · 25/09/2011 20:43

Sometimes I do find it a chore, yes, mist especially when I or dh have to be there to do some kind of job. I'm a little lost with it all at the moment and rely on church (by which I mean others in the congregation, not the clergy) to keep me going or I'd lose contact with that part of my life entirely.

The church (again people not clergy) were truly wonderful when dd died. And they are good friends, many of them. I adore the music and the poetry of a good piece of scripture.

To me, when it's a chore its like practising a musical instrument can be tedious. You may feel like you're getting nowhere, sometimes for a really long time, but I keep going because the alternative is stopping and then losing contact with all the good.

WillowFae · 25/09/2011 21:20

When I went as a child and a teenager it was a chore. Something that I was expected to do. I was a 'good christian girl' back then.

20 years later and I've recommitted to Christianity and I LOVE going. Services are two hours long but I can honestly say I haven't been bored at all. The worship is amazing and the preaching is inspiring. The people are great as well.

purpleturtletoise · 25/09/2011 21:25

Very occasionally it feels like a chore (or worse!), but on the whole it is one of the main things that sets the rhythm of my week. I really miss it if I don't go. I connect with God in all sorts of ways on my own throughout the week, but it's great to be with other people doing the same thing.

MindtheGappp · 25/09/2011 21:26

Church is not a chore. It's the highlight of my week.

olddog · 25/09/2011 21:32

Its the best hour of my week. I don't feel the compulsion to go during the week that I feel on Sunday but if I do manage to go midweek I do enjoy it. The times I don't enjoy so much are the big events like Christmas because its so hectic. I don't have any childhood guilt, my parents were atheists.

Original poster
Bumperlicioso · 25/09/2011 21:58

Thanks for the replies. They are really interesting. I was just finding it hard to get my head round. But I guess being an atheist of course I don't feel the desire to go to church. Just like I have absolutely no desire to climb a mountain, but plenty of people do. I just thought you were all being dutiful, eating your sarnies first Grin. I'm glad you actually enjoy it.

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cat64 · 25/09/2011 22:03

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Original poster
Bumperlicioso · 25/09/2011 22:09

Why the Hmm face? I'm sure some people do find it a chore, a poster on here has even admitted doing so, and I know I certainly did as a child. I was just trying to get some insight into it as I wasn't sure what people got out of going to church. Now I know.

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mrsgboring · 25/09/2011 22:50

Am I really the only one on here that finds it a chore sometimes? This has been a really interesting thread for me, because I'm often finding the chore aspect overwhelming at the moment, so unpacking why I keep on going despite this has been great.

I definitely find schlepping the children along and keeping them going and halfway decently behaved through a whole service a chore. Massively so.

hiddenhome · 26/09/2011 10:58

I like going to church, but sometimes I'd rather snuggle up in my duvet. The cat gets me up early for his breakfast anyway, so I just get ready and get on with it. Once you get out it's fine.

ds1 wants to become a Catholic, but finds getting up on Sunday mornings a chore. ds2 is a religious fanatic and quite happily trots off with me. dh is extremely lazy, but isn't a Catholic anyway, so he just comes if/when he feels like it.

dotty2 · 26/09/2011 11:19

I find it a bit of a chore at the moment, tbh. I am feeling rather uncertain about my faith and my church - though lovely in terms of being supportive and helpful on a personal level - is not the most inspiring place spiritually for someone unsure about their faith. But I think sometimes chores are good for you - the music practice analogy is good. Or like remembering to smile and be nice to your family when you're tired and would rather snap. Keeping going when you're not getting much out of it seems an important discipline to me. I'm sure I've read something about this - the idea that you should keep praying/worshipping when you think you don't mean it because the act of doing so is working in your heart on a level you might not be conscious of. As well as setting a good example to the DDs... And they genuinely like going to Sunday club (they're 4 and 6). If/when they start asking not to go, it might be harder.

cat64 · 26/09/2011 11:30

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cat64 · 26/09/2011 11:31

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dotty2 · 26/09/2011 12:21

Cat64 - am a Methodist too! In our circuit, the lay preaching aspect is one of the things that makes it less inspiring, I have to say, as there are more that I find dull or irritating than thought-provoking. But I make myself remember that they have undertaken an enormous task voluntarily and that I have no right to criticise (even inwardly) unless I want to get off my backside and train to do it too!

alegre · 26/09/2011 12:31

Occasionally it feels like a chore. If I'm in my PJs and feeling lazy, it can seem like a chore to be breakfasted, dressed and out for 10 am service.

However, like others have mentioned, I do find that it allows me an hour's calm, a time to reflect and a sense of community. Like dotty2, I sometimes feel uncertain about my faith but somehow I do generally come back from church feeling better. Once I'm over my initial Sunday morning laziness, it's not really a chore.

cat64 · 26/09/2011 12:38

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LeoTheLateBloomer · 26/09/2011 13:21

I really look forward to it. My life has improved so much since I started going and I appreciate being made to feel a part of the community.

SansaLannister · 26/09/2011 13:43

Yes. It's majorly boring, IMO. Sunday mornings are for fun.

thejaffacakesareonme · 26/09/2011 17:14

I look forward to it now that my kids are slightly older. When they were little I did find it a chore on occasions as I found it difficult to keep two very lively, very loud little boys still and quiet during the prayers. I would be so busy trying to deal with them that I couldn't really concentrate on what was going on. I really enjoy church now that they are older and able to sit still for longer.

notevenamousie · 26/09/2011 17:41

It's not a chore to me - it's the time I actually get to be myself and not what I think I should be. Family services are hard because the children stay in and need to at least be moderately well behaved - DD loves Sunday Club, and I love being able to sit on my own and listen to the sermon - so all the other Sundays, it's great. But DD is little and up at the crack of dawn regardless of the day of the week, if this lie-in concept of which you speak became available maybe I'd feel differently!

Original poster
Bumperlicioso · 26/09/2011 19:14

Thanks for all the replies I've found them really insightful.

To expand a little, is going to church an essential part of your faith? I don't mean personally, I mean in a doctrinal sense. Can you be a 'good XYZ denomination' if you don't go to a place of worship regularly. Can you not just do your own worship whenever you think of it. Or is it like a hobby where you really intend to practice at home but actually never get round to it unless it is an organised 'club night'. Sorry for the overuse of similies!

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purpleturtletoise · 26/09/2011 20:59

For me, although I know that others may think differently, then gathering together with other Christians is essential. Not necessarily in a traditional church service type of way: it could be a gathering in a home, so long as there is some element of 'teaching' - I suppose I mean a deliberate attempt to get more understanding of who Jesus is and how we should live - as well as prayer and praising God. I think that Jesus' teachings, and the early Christian writings encourage us that our faith is something that we work out with other people, that what we believe should have an impact on how we live alongside others.

These are my lofty ideals, for what they're worth, and some days I come a bit closer to them than on many others.

purpleturtletoise · 26/09/2011 21:01

Reading your question again - I think it's actually a case of both and. A bit like individual music practice at home makes the orchestra performance so much better!