Want to get to know God, trying church, but feeling very stuck, please help

[zulubump]

It's hard to get everything relevant down in one post, but here's an attempt. I'm from a non-religious background but have been going to a local church for about two years and taking my dcs (age 3 and 1 years). I'm in a happy marriage and am a SAHM and generally content with my lot in lie, but have been searching for something for a while now to make my life more "meaningful". Church and the idea of God/Jesus get close at times, but I'm really unsure about the Christian faith and find the Bible to often be incomprehensible or unhelpful and upsetting. I've done an Alpha course, but did find it hard to be open and honest about all my doubts.

I go through phases of really enjoying church and feeling like God is there with me in life. But now and again I'll attend a Sunday service that covers aspects of Christianity that I'm really uncomfortable with and I feel it all falling away from me. I feel like I'm not allowed to be close to God because I don't/can't believe certain things (eg Hell, or a chapter from James on how the tongue is full of poison!!, original sin etc). I feel like I don't know this God and I loose all that good feeling..

That's how I'm feeling at the moment after this Sunday. Am feeling tearful and snappy with the DCs and like God has abandoned me because I don't know where to turn to sort out these feelings. I've prayed and asked for help but feel like there is no one there listening. Can anyone understand how I feel and offer any advice or encouragement?

Thanks almost. I have given up on books for the time being for the reasons you say. At the moment I am finding discussion with other Christians, either in RL or on here, the most useful thing. Your suggestion of sitting in stillness reminded me that I tried going to Quaker meetings for a while, this was a few years ago. I wasn't very good at listening out for God though, often ended up thinking about what to cook for dinner etc!

Hi, I think many people are now looking for something, but the problem with religions are that they can be very fear based and so guilt is added into the mix. Many people like to follow, but the problem with club joining is that once it becomes a large organisation, then egos and power inevitably get in the way. For this reason I am happy to share in any collective energy of good intent, but I walk my own path - this way acceptance of all types of belief is possible. However ridiculous some beliefs can appear, everyone is doing their best from thier own level of awareness, I find that understanding this makes it much easier to see where people are coming from.

I think it's much clearer to look at spirituality through teachers who avoid trying to dictate who or what exactly God is. There are some great writers like Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra who give many answers and thought provoking ideas whilst embracing, but not by pushing any particular religion.

There are many great books, but I would say one of the best is Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra or The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. Both these authors are available on iPod downloads - I love this way of learning because you can go for long walks, nourishing body and soul at the same time.
Good luck in your search x