alternatives to RC christening.

[stegasaurus]

I am probably not going to get DC1 (due in 4 weeks) christened in the Catholic church however much I want to. I was brought up Catholic but DH is atheist. He has agreed that I can take our child to church and teach them what I believe and I agree that he can tell them what he believes and that it is different to what I believe (and they will also learn that other people believe different things to either of us), but he cannot participate in having the baby baptised. I understand that, because, as part of the ceremony, he would have to state publicly that he believes in things he does not believe in and make promises on behalf of the child that he cannot keep and does not mean. It would be very hypocritical and too much of a compromise for him and I think it would be unfair for me to try and make him do that.
My religion is important to me and I see baptism as an important first step in being brought up in the Catholic church, but I have to compromise with DH on this. He said I could get our baby christened but he wouldn't be at the ceremony. I don't know if I would want this, but is it even possible? I have never known anyone have a christening without both parents being involved. Someone in a different thread mentioned having a dedication in the church instead of a christening. What does this involve? Alternatively, I can take my child to church, and let them choose when they are old enough whether they want to become Catholic and go through the sacraments. How old would they be to be considered old enough by the church and how would this work? Would they go through RCIA or is it possible for them to be confirmed at the same age as their peers if they wish while being baptised and having first holy commnunion at around the same time? Does anybody know about these things ?

I think if you speak to your PP about this and explain your individual situation you'll probably find a way round this, even if your DH sits in the congregation instead of at the font. A Catholic babtism is as valid as any christian babtism. So even if you decide to go to your local CoE you'll be required and DH too to make promises on behalf of your dc.

I've known a lot of christenings where only one parent was there. My dsil had split from her bf who wasn't RC, my own babtism where my mother wasn't present as I was only 3 weeks old and it was the done thing then....Tis perfectly possible. I have a friend who is in a similar situation, devout herself and athiest dh. He is happy to support and if any questions arrise he says go and ask Mum...their dcs are aware that their Dad doesn't attend Mass or really believe...importantly he is very supportive of them and his dw...

I would set the scene, take dc to Mass, establish the habit and then your dc has a chance to validly decide because you've given them the foundation...then they can decide for themselves, to walk away...

My Dh is an athiest but he respects my faith. We had dc all baptised with my dh attending as the parent but without saying the vows. Dc all attend mass and know that dh doesn't believe.

In the circumstances I agree woth falachfead- introduce them to the faith by taking them to mass etc but most importantly Faith is a gift- pray its one they recieve.

A little girl was baptised in ds2's Catholic school last week and she only had her mum there. There was a chap sitting next to her, but I think he was her partner and didn't go up to see the Priest when the mum did.

I think your dc will find things easier if you do have him/her baptised because then he/she will be able to take communion at school when the time comes. It will complicate things if they're not baptised. They can make up their mind about their own beliefs when they're older.

There are so many couples where one is Catholic and the other doesn't believe, my own marriage included. I had no problem at all with having our son baptised as we both met with the priest and he was happy that my husband didn't make declarations but I did them.

Explain to your other half that this is not a problem. There's value in it for him even if he doesn't believe in the God aspect, for example he may see the value in all the people you care about oming together and proclaiming your little one's name in public celebration. Find out what value he could gain from it and then go forward in a way that you are both comfortable.

I wouldn't leave your child unbaptised though.

A friend of mine is an atheist, her husband is catholic. He baptised all their children in the kitchen sink! According to him anyone can perform a baptism, it doesn't have to be a priest.

true- anyone can baptise a child but it can later cause difficulties with future sacraments if there is no certificate.