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Original poster

BEING a Catholic

10 replies

zanzibarmum · 26/03/2011 22:58

What is being a Catholic to mumsnetters out there?

I don't mean 'going to mass', receiving the sacraments etc but what does 'being' a Catholic mean in every day life.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
FalachFead · 27/03/2011 16:31

A lot of being Catholic is 'outlook'. I try and pray most days, do things that I really can't be bothered to do with a willing heart, be as nice and open and welcoming of people that I meet/know. I try not to gossip or swear, I'm not always succesful, but I try, we pray as a family every day, we do also go to Mass and receive the Sacraments and try and incorprate that into our daily lives. We as a couple try to live out our married life for one another. Doing things with one another in mind, respecting that he works really hard and so I try and make our home life pleasant. We don't contracept, so that has an knock-on effect of leaving me quite prone to PMT...he has to "allow" for the moody witch that I can be...swings and round-abouts....we try and live out our Faith and be witnesses in a quiet way...Is that what you mean?

IngridBergmann · 27/03/2011 16:49

Interested to read this thread, especially if there are further contributions, as my mother has recently gone headlong back into Catholicism and I don't understand what she is on about Sad

Falachfead your life sounds lovely. For my mother it seems to mean tremendous amounts of guilt, crying and conflicts...she confesses things to me, she can't reconcile the people she loves and their 'failings' (my sister being gay for example) and it just seems like it's about self flagellation at present, for Mum.

I dropped out after I was confirmed 20 odd years ago. I can't pretend ever to have understood any of it though, in the first place.

Sorry not to be more help.

acorntree · 27/03/2011 18:01

Do you mean what does it mean to be a Catholic, or to be a Christian, because a lot of what I would say about being a Catholic would also be true for Christians of other denominations I think.
For me it means praying every day and trying to keep my life centred on my faith, trying (not always successfully) to see the best in everyone because we are told we should love our enemies and forgive those who do wrong to us and that is so so difficult at times. Not (definitely not) judging others. Praying with my children and trying to light the flame of faith in them (my dh is agnostic ? he supports my faith but doesn?t share it). Seeing the beauty in creation and sharing it with my children. Praising God and trying (not always succeeding) to have faith that He knows what He is doing even when it is not clear to me.
Specifically being a Catholic is to do with the way I feel comfortable expressing my faith through the sacraments, and the way I participate in our local parish family. I?ve found it is also deeply deeply ingrained. I can despair at times at some of the pronouncements coming from the Vatican (not always ? but at times) ? but I find being Catholic is somehow way way deeper than that and not something I could easily shake off, very much part of my identity (a bit my nationality or belonging to my family - warts and all)

FalachFead · 27/03/2011 19:43

Ingrid, don't be fooled! We have our off days too! And I am a contrary bisom. DH sometimes pushes in one direction and I'll pull just as hard in an another! Guilt! Tis the curse of the Catholic. I gave it up years ago. It's destructive and I don't need it...Your poor Mum. She's a product of her generation. Acorn tree, wrt Vatican, yep me too....for somethings....

IngridBergmann · 27/03/2011 20:16

Thanks Falach Smile

I think she was cursed by her upbringing more than anything else, and it's translated for her into this strange obsessional behaviour, which is really sad...transposing the guilt from an abused childhood onto the patriarchal system she ought to feel guarded by.

I don't know, I think she is misusing Catholicism. It really upsets me.

acorntree · 28/03/2011 20:00

That's sad Ingrid, I hope your Mum finds a positive resolution.

MitchiestInge · 28/03/2011 20:03

I was just wondering if and or how it differs from being a Christian generally. Something you are born into and sort of left with isn't it. Keep thinking about going back but pretty sure I won't find what I'm looking for there.

FalachFead · 29/03/2011 12:06

I don't think it differs greatly in belief. However my Christian friends don't hold Our Lady in the same regard, they don't believe in the communion of Saints or the Real Presence in the Eucharist. I have in recent years found a great depth of comfort from my faith. I have recently prepared my children for their Sacraments and it's fantastic to chat to them about their beliefs and understanding. I don't send them to Catholic school despite living in the West of Scotland...so I am giving them, I hope, tolerance, understanding of others and a love of their Faith...

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 30/03/2011 18:36

I don't see there being a big difference between me (predominantly Anglican with non-conformist bits) and DH (RC with protestant influences) but there are a couple of things.

In fact I often feel that DH, as a Catholic, views faith and observance as a much more private thing than I do, although that may just be us IYSWIM? Although I don't think it is because when I went through a phase of trying Catholicism - and I know that sounds odd but I was trying to find a church which fitted - the emphasis on personal reflection/spirituality/individual confession to a priest was still present in a way that it's not necessarily in other Christian traditions which are more collective? There's a lot more eyes closed, heads bowed, kneeling etc which has the effect of drawing inwards, which sometimes I like and it does make me focus more! It's almost a feeling of accountability which I don't find in other denominations and I don't mean that in a negative way, in fact it can be very supportive and I can see why people turn towards Catholicism.

But I notice it most with things like I'm comfortable to pray off the cuff and out loud, to praise or to call on God, whereas DH seems to find a lot more comfort in a structured prayer. I will happily talk about and question faith, DH is less comfortable with that. I don't really observe Days of Obligation whereas he will.

Otherwise it's like being any kind of Christian really.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/03/2011 18:46

I've never felt the guilt thing TBH. I don't understand it.

I agree with frak about structured prayer. I am actually quite uncomfrotable with teh "I just really want to praise you Lord" kind of praying. I find comfort in well known words and cadences, and find them conducive to reflection and feeling close to God.

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