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Original poster

CofE confirmation at 9

15 replies

Katisha · 25/03/2011 17:15

DS getting confirmed at age of 9. It's Church of England. I am OK with this although it is on the young side as he is quite a spiritual child and accepts Christianity pretty wholeheartedly. Yes I know this is because he probably isn't old enough to develop doubts yet, but that doesn't invalidate his position at the moment I feel.

Anyway - he has to write a letter to the bishop about why he wants to get confirmed. It has been suggested he talks about where he is on his "Christian journey" and this is where I start to get the eebie-jeebies.

Quite apart from horrible jargon about journeys, surely it's obvious he is at the start of it? I don't want him to have to start using language that is too old for him.

What, if anything, should he write?

OP posts:

ilovemyhens · 25/03/2011 17:27

I was told it had to be 13 in the Church of England. My ds1 is very spiritual, but he's 12 and I think that's too young to be confirmed tbh. Couldn't you persuade him to postpone it for a couple of years?

Original poster

Katisha · 25/03/2011 17:28

THere is no actual age limit.
The person running the classes is quite keen and in fact has quite a few of the children in the choir doing it this year. DS is one.

OP posts:

ilovemyhens · 25/03/2011 18:58

I'm surprised because I think that children of that age lack the maturity to be aware of what it means really and there's no point in pushing them through it.

ds1 did a preparation for communion course so that he could take communion, but has to wait for full confirmation. As it is, he wants to become a Catholic, so I'll have to investigate what that entails.

Original poster

Katisha · 25/03/2011 19:10

I know - it is on the early side I agree.
It would be good if they could have communion without being confirmed I think.

OP posts:

scrappydappydoo · 25/03/2011 19:33

I think maybe what the letter should say is something along the lines of how he came to the place he is now spiritually, and why he wants to get confirmed now. I think if he is truely ready for confirmation he should be able to do that.

ilovemyhens · 25/03/2011 19:34

Well perhaps you could ask because ds1 did this in the CofE church. You could ask why they're so keen to go for confirmation at that age. I know they conduct confirmation earlier in the Catholic church - about age 7 I think.

Bunbaker · 25/03/2011 19:40

That's very young. Our vicar and the vicar at our last church wouldn't consider children as young as that for confirmation. They do confirmation classes when they start at high school, exactly for the reasons that ilovemyhens has put forward.

Our church does do a first communion though at age 6 or 7, so my ten year old daughter can take part in communion. DD did a very enjoyable course for this with the vicar. Can your church not do this? It is becoming increasingly popular in the C of E church.

mercibucket · 25/03/2011 19:40

think its first communion at 7 in the catholic church

9 is very young - what does the vicar have to say about it all? tbh I'd just ask him to write in his own words why he feels confirmation is the right step for him at the right time without worrying about any jargon

MumInBeds · 25/03/2011 19:46

I agree that sounds very young, in my (CofE) church they can have communion from the age of 7 after a chat with the vicar and can be confirmed from about 13 which still feels quite young to me.

Acanthus · 25/03/2011 19:47

DS1 was confirmed in the C of E at 11.

Original poster

Katisha · 25/03/2011 21:18

I think I'll have a word with the vicar and see if he will do the communion without confirmation. The vicar is new since the classes were set up and might have a different opinion on what could happen since his arrival.

OP posts:

DandyDan · 26/03/2011 00:09

Our kids were all around the age of 11 when they were confirmed, but no younger. Does he really want to be confirmed right now (is it alongside some friends of his, say?) or would he be just as happy to wait a couple of years? He can choose to do it when he is a little older if he likes. And if the communion thing is part of the reason behind it, it is quite possible to have "communion before confirmation" so long as it has been discussed with the family and a couple of short sessions follow that explain some of the importance and meaning behind it. But usually parishes have to have signed up to this - got the okay from the PCC - it can't be just the vicar's own decision I don't think, and there needs to be some formal instruction given before the child is allowed to receive.

If he wants to be confirmed now, ask him to write very simply in his own words why he feels he wants to be confirmed - what he feels about belonging to the church and "joining" in a more adult way like this.

Original poster

Katisha · 26/03/2011 17:34

Thanks for that DD. So it may not be as straightforawrd as getting the OK from the vicar about communion. I can't see the PCC rushing to change policy.
Yes the problem is that several of DSs peers are doing these classes and he would be upset to be pulled out now I think.

OP posts:

bruffin · 26/03/2011 17:57

At Dc'S COFE primary school they send out letters in year 5, so 9 and 10 year olds. I think both dcs were 10 by the time . DD was just 10 and there was a girl much younger in her confirmation classes, but her parents are heavily involved in the church.

mercibucket · 26/03/2011 19:18

we are also c of e and anyone can take communion so it does vary by parish. we are quite a laid back church

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