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Philosophy/religion

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Need some help choosing godparents!

6 replies

bonneviveuse · 21/03/2011 19:42

We are trying to plan our DD's christening but really stuck over who to pick as godparents for DD. One of the reasons I'm fretting so much about the whole godparent thing is because our kids have v little family in this country. Only 2 grandparents who are getting on a bit, I am an only child (all my family lives in Ireland) and DH has one brother who is much older and they don't have a close relationship at all.

For DS (who is 3) we had my Irish cousin, my schoolfriend (in Switzerland) and DH's v close friend who has just relocated to Australia! So poor DS now has no godparents in this country - we partly chose DH's friend as he was in the UK and we never expected that he would emigrate. We don't regret our choices as the reasons all made sense at the time but while my schoolfriend and DH's friend have been great godparents, my cousin has been a real disappointment. She hardly ever gets in touch, forgets DS's birthday etc. So mixed experiences with first lot of godparents and want to make sure I get it right for DD. We would like godparents from 3 different sets of friends/families as for DS. Current options are:

  1. Friend of DH and his wife. Lovely couple who we've become closer to over the years - they're about 10 years older than us and have no kids. Though his wife is English she has a strong connection to Ireland which would be nice so that's why we would think of asking them both. They would be v chuffed (and possibly a bit surprised!) to be asked but would be devoted godparents.
  1. Old schoolfriend of mine - she lives with her partner in London and we're very close to them as a couple. They don't have kids (unlikely to ever have them for health reasons) but she has been really generous to DS over the years and when we've met up, she is fantastic with him and I'm sure would be the same with DD.
  1. University friend who now lives in USA with her family. I used to be v close to her years ago but have only seen them a couple of times since they moved to USA a few years ago. Main reservation is we already have so much family/godparents overseas & its a long way to ask her to come. She would be a fantastic godparent but ultimately DD won't actually see her very much.
  1. Local mummy friend - we met when expecting our first babies and she has become an incredibly close friend who I see very often. She is a lovely person and would be a great role model for my DD - also DS is very fond of her and good friends with her DD. But we have a mutual close friend and wouldn't want to offend her by choosing this other girl ahead of her. Also they would be part of DD's life anyway even if they weren't godparents.
  1. Cousin in Ireland - haven't seen her for a few years (but exchange chatty messages on FB). Other cousin who is DS's godmother is on different branch of family so asking this cousin for DD would be good for family relations. But previous experience of picking family as godparent not good (also family would have ties to DC anyway) and yet another overseas godparent.

I know I'm totally overthinking the whole thing and all the possible godparents would be fine - just finding it so difficult to make the final decision so any advice or thoughts would be really welcome!!

OP posts:
faeriefruitcake · 21/03/2011 21:47

Pick me instead, nobody ever picks me.Grin

It doesn't really matter who you pick just have them all.

DandyDan · 21/03/2011 22:45

Your No 1 and No 2 options would be the ones I would go for, if it were me. Some of ours have godparents they don't know at all, and others are really close friends and devoted godparents still.

No-one ever picks me either. All our likely people have had their kids as well, so I think I've missed the boat on being a godmother (unless they want an elderly one later in life).

bonneviveuse · 22/03/2011 09:36

Thanks for your advice - I think it helped sort out my thoughts by writing it all down!

We've never been asked to be godparents either - some of our closest friends live abroad or on DH's side are in SA (where he grew up) or asked siblings or don't have kids or aren't religious...but still it would have been nice!! Maybe we're not thought of as godparent material Confused

Tending to go with 1, 2 and 4 (so DD has ties to three different families). I think it will be nice for our friends without kids to be asked as it will hopefully give them a chance to have a close bond with a child.

OP posts:
alexandra65 · 24/04/2011 14:28

I'd go for 1, 2 and 4.

We had 4 godparents, one has been COMPLETELY useless, one is ok, the other two are great - wish we had just gone with two ! Both known to us for a long time, one has connections with DP's caribbean country (and is a parctising church goer), and the other is a great friend of mine (and our Mums were great friend too) so a bit of longevity in the relationship is good.

alexandra65 · 24/04/2011 14:29

ps: also i dont choose family as feel thay are already connected

HalleluiaScot · 24/04/2011 17:56

You can have godparents who live far away. The main job of a godparent is to pray for the child and support you to bring them up in the Christian faith. This is very easy nowadays with social networking.

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