Do we have any Orthodox Jewish Mnetters? I need educating - fast!?

[Doodlez]

Hey up

I thought I was pretty au fait with the Jewish relegion but it would appear I'm nothing of the sort. My question is around hand-shaking.

I Jewish bloke wouldn't shake my hand (business) but told me it wasn't personal. It felt personal but what could I do?

So, I Googled when I got a spare 5 minutes and found out that it's a custom of both male and female Orthodox Jews.

Anyone around who can answer some dopey questions I have without taking offense?

Thanks.

I am not an orthodox jew but a GP who used to work in a predominantly jewish practice area.

As far as I know an orthodox jewish male would not shake your hand in case you may be niddah (eg menstruating)

Orthodox jewish men will not sleep in the same bed as their wives when they are niddah or have physical contact, until they have been to the mikvah ritual bath and performed a cleansing ritual to ensure there is no evidence of any uterine blood. I think in ultra orthodox communities this extends to contact eg hand shaking between any male and female.

I may be wrong with this, so those who have more knowledge please correct me.

It is definitely not a personal affront to you but part of their religion.

I read a really interesting book called "The Rabbi's Daughter" - all about an Jewish girl - who goes "off the rails" a bit and then becomes ultra orthodox and then.... but I won't spoil the ending!. It's really interesting book especially as it's true.

JenAT is right, Othodox men won't shake your hand, particularly Ultra-O/Hassidic.

It's not personal, in that it's not about you in particular.

Easiest thing is to slightly hang back from going to shake hands and see if they offer a hand first.

But ultra Orthadox women won't shake hands with males either - is that right?

Orthodox Noachide here - yes, this is true that many Orthodox of either sex will not shake hands with people of the opposite sex. It is not meant as an insult towards you in any way though I can see how you can take it as so. It's just a cultural/religious difference on the point of view of physical contact.

Physical contact between non-family members of the opposite sex is just not done. Where as in the West handshakes, hugging, kisses on the cheeks between friends is accepted (more for some than others), in Orthodox Judaism physical contact is seen as far more intimate. For some it makes the physical contact with spouses and kin more special, for others (like myself who naturally felt this way before converting) it shows respect that people have different levels of comfort with personal space and going on the assuption that a person does not want their space gone into shows greater respect for a person's bodily autonomy than assuming that the other person wants that and finding out that they don't.

So, in short, while it can seem offensive to a Western point of view, within Judaism (and many other other religions and cultures) it's more a sign of respect that everyone should choose who gets to touch them.

It's the same with Royalty they only shake hands with gloves on!