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Original poster

could my dd be seeing my dad (deceased)

10 replies

rdmommy · 14/01/2011 11:21

I am not sure if i'm in the right place but wanted to ask a question as its really playing on my mind.

my dad died of alcoholism nearly 6 years ago. he was my idol and only 51 when he passed. he always talked about grandkids etc but i was only 23 when he passed so had only be married for a short time so no grandkids at that point.

he is buried close by and have always visited him with my children, when we brought our dd1 home from hospital before went home we took her to him and we often go to the grave and let off balloons for him.

my dd1 is 2y11 months and was a late speaker so when she has come out with the following it has stumped me.

i have always told her grandad ** lives on a star and she often says hello to him when the stars are out.

the other night i was feeding dd2 and she hid behind me and said no grandad ** thats is not how you play peek a boo, this way silly.... now i have never referred to 'peek a boo' as that it has always been hide and seek or boo so it is unusual for her to use that term.

then last night i was on the landing putting some towels away and she was playing in her room and she was chatting away to her toys i thought but then i heard her say 'grandad ** no sad or cry, mommy loves you and me and dd2. shall we go back to the burn..' now the 'burn' was somewhere my dad played when he was little, its 300 miles away where he used to live and my dd1 has never been there nor have i talked about it to her.

I know this is probably silly but do you think she sees him? she says she does but whether thats just her saying so because i asked i'm not sure.

tia

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 14/01/2011 11:27

She might. All my children could "see" when they were little. Not so much now - they are too busy with other distractions. I can still occasionally see people who have passed - as could my mother.

As long as it isn't upsetting her I would just play it down for now.

Original poster

rdmommy · 14/01/2011 11:31

no its not upsetting her but she talks about him as if he is in the room with her, i hope he is but also the things she's saying are just very real, talking about places and things she doesn't know. My dad was an emotional soul so i am not suprised she told him not to cry.

OP posts:

BluddyMoFo · 14/01/2011 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

rdmommy · 14/01/2011 11:40

i know he is bluddymofo, i found him, thank you though for being so blunt

OP posts:

3littlefrogs · 14/01/2011 11:49

rdmommy - I am so sorry, that must have been awful for you.

nemofish · 14/01/2011 12:22

More than likely she is seeing him.

My dd has a very 'personal' relationship with dh's dad, who died before she was one. She talks about him often (Grandpa F says this, Grandpa F says that). She is usually just talking rubbish and I was sceptical when she said 'Grandpa F says I can get a rabbit' but it's clear that to her, he is around.

But she started mentioning him around the age of two, before we discussed her grandparents with her, and she told us what kind of house they lived in (very distinctive) and other things about their lives. She couldn't have known those details, I'm fairly sure. I certainly didn't mention anything about dh's parents at all for fear of upsetting him

Keep it under your hat though as there are people who just don't get it, can't accept it and never will the idiots

Vev · 14/01/2011 21:13

It does sound like your dad's visiting his granddaughter.

nemofish · 15/01/2011 16:56

Just to clarify, dd's grandad lived in a care home for several years before his death, dd met him twice at around 6 months old and 9 months old, and had never been to his house, but was able to describe it accurately

1944girl · 02/02/2011 01:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cakesandale · 03/02/2011 10:39

FWIW my dd, who is 7, used to see an old lady in our house. She did not like the woman and did not see her as a dead person, but as someone else who shared our house. No idea who it was, if the person was there, it must have been to do with the house before we lived in it, I think.

last summer her grandad died - she talks to him a lot, and when we go out in the car she sometimes opens the window to 'let him in'.

I have no idea if this is in her head, or what. TBH, this one now she is older sounds more like imagination and a reluctance to let go. But the one from before, when she was younger, sounded very real to me.

I think kids do see things that we cease to see as we get older. As long as it is not making them sad or frightened, perhaps we should just accept it. Certainly when it seems to be a relative who wishes them nothing but good.

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