brainwashed niece

[ladysoandso]

My 19 yo niece is staying with us for 3 nights a week whilst doing work experience. This is the first time we have even spent any time alone with her without her parents there. Her parents are born again christians.

It is starting to dawn on me that she has been brainwashed. She is no opinions of her own that dont relate to the bible. The subject of her religion comes up every meal time (by her). I actually try to avoid any talk because it makes me so uncomfortable to here her sad replies and hell and the devil. She is awkward and unsure of her arguments and it sounds to me like she has been coached to answer in a very casual way so as not to get into a difficult discussion. She even said to one question 'ummm now what was I supposed to reply?"

She has admitted that she hopes by talking to me I will 'pick up the bible'. I feel like she is trying to recruit me!

I know this is extreme but I think it boarders on child abuse.

Any opinions?

I feel for her. I was in a fundamentalist Christian church at the same age. They are very controlling and run on fear, power and guilt. I was really afraid that people I loved would go to hell but in my experience a lot of Christians distance themselves from the fact that they believe this. If they really though people they loved were going to hell then they would be distraught constantly, I was and in a way if helped me get out. That and seeing so little actual compassion in the church.

It is really hard to get out. Painful process too.

Passages that made me question were the stuff on predestination, the passages about rape and the one on homosexuality where they pick up on the don't be with people of the same sex but totally ignore every other so called law.

Is she passionate about any other issue in life? That might help as the chances are her church are too busy talking about demons and devils to be actually doing any good for anyone. They can do a lot of harm though, seeing that helped me to make the break.

beebuzzer - i cant remember the name of the church but it's one where you have to donate a big chunk of salary.

so I just searched for churches in their area and nothing comes up and I know exactly where it is. I also just looked up fundamentalist and it says..

'Fundamentalism tends to involve brainwashing, misinterpretation, cult behavior, worship of a leader, confusion about priorities and values, and practices aimed at debilitating your self-esteem.'

well that all sounds familiar.

Thanks to all the imput. All I can do do is catch her if she falls off. Or escapes.

Many churches encourage tithes - 10% of your salary to be given to the church every month. Its not uncommon or something specific to cults. Our church has no funds other than donations (I expect many are similar) and only two salaried staff, one of them being the pastor. Many, many experienced and very learned volunteers though

I think it is great that your neice has such a supportive auntie! I think the most important thing you can do for her at the moment is just to be there for her. It may be good to chat about things that are not related to Christianity whether it be fashion, films, books or whatever takes your fancy.