Any mixed faith (Jewish/non Jewish couples) who didn't circumcise - how did your family cope?

[satsumasarenottheonlyfruit]

Hi, I am Jewish, dh is not. We intend to bring our babies up with knowledge of both religions but not to practise either really. We've decided no circumcision if it is a boy (or for that matter if it is a girl!!)and we're happy with this - so I am not looking for arguments or persuasion on either side as we have made our decision - I don't care if you think it is brutal or if you think it is essential - what I am interested in though is how your family took it. My grandfather is not happy that we will not have a boy circumcised. He will come round to it - he wasn't happy I got married on a Saturday but he still came to the wedding and was relatively nice about it - but he'll just have a strop first, and you know, a new baby is a blessing and I cannot be bothered to have the argument. Anyone else go through this? My family are not religious by the way - my grandfather goes to an orthodox synagogue but is not what we would call a frummer, and I grew up ion the reform movement. And nor are we having the baby christened which my dh's family expect I think but don't really care about either way - it's just how they assume things are done.

One of the most exciting things, I think, about being in an inter-faith relationship, is that you lose the comfort zone of all assumptions and expectations. It's a wonderful opportunity to experience G-d/God as a couple and as a family. I'm an evangelical Christian and DH is Reform - I'm a regular but I namechange whenever I talk about family andf religion!

So far, our only DC is a girl, so I can't comment on questions of circumcision. But really, what transformed the entire way both of our families felt about us was her birth and how utterly delightful she is. As you say, a baby is a blessing which transcends all religious structures and rituals and traditions. Judaism, I think, has historically been very good at realising that.

Could you do your DC some sort of naming ceremony which incorporates elemtns of tradition of both the bris and the christening, and create a ritual as a way to hold a party which brings both sides of your families together? You could ask your grandfather for advice on designing the ceremony.

... and also, I meant to say, I love your username! I read OANTOF as a teenager, but read it again when I pissed off my whole religious community by falling in love with DH. Jeanette Winterson is a clever, brave woman.

DS is circumcised (for medical reasons, he had a hypospadias repair at 18mo) and we wouldn't have done it otherwise. I have lots of family in Israel (my mother is from Israel) and they couldn't care less.

The only person who made a fuss about it was a man who lives in my grandparents retirement village in Qiryat Tivon, who thought it was a reasonable question to ask me about. I didn't agree with him. I mean seriously, why is my son's willy of any importance to him? My savta thought he was mad.

Having said all that, and being eligible to move to Israel etc etc, I don't consider myself religiously jewish AT ALL. My DH is CofE though.

My father is Jewish, my mother is not (she did convert, to try and pacify her mother in law, but it was all lipservice!) and my brother is not circumcised. My grandparents were far more horrified at their eldest son marrying out than at their first and only grandson not being circumcised, afaik.

Mind you, this is all a while back - my Dad is 84 now.

My sister in law is a Catholic, my brother is a non practising Jew - they had an interesting marriage service (there was a priest and a rabbi), and neither of their two sons are circumcised. Mind you, it was easy for them - as my Dad had set a precedent.