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Philosophy/religion

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Church of Scotland - help please

19 replies

AlwaysTheMummy · 29/09/2010 11:29

Hi to everyone,

I'm seperated and a single mother to 2 children, I would like to join our local church, which is a church of scotland, is this different to church of england?

Anyway, what should I expect to happen? I'm just going to show up Sunday morning but I've never been to a church before and wasn't raised as religious.

Any information would be grately received.

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Patienceobtainsallthings · 29/09/2010 13:20

Erm Hymns prayers more hymns readings more prayers sermon ,offering ,hymns, prayers, hymns and a blessing.Most larger churches will do a sunday school,prob offer you a coffee afterwards ,have a chat and meet people.Ask away if i can be of help i too am single mum of 2 and returned to church in my 30s ,i find it helps me to say thankyou for my life and to reflect x

AMumInScotland · 29/09/2010 13:20

Church of Scotland is different from Church of England - it doesn't have bishops, and is governed in a different way, more like a committee. But its still very much a mainstream Christian denomination, and believes pretty much the same things as CofE.

There's likely to be a noticeboard outside telling you the times of the services - in most places the main Sunday service is likely to have a Sunday School, but its up to you if you want to use it or not. The service is likely to be a mix of bible readings, a sermon, and singing hymns. In some churches the Sunday School children will be in for the first part of the service, and there'll be a short sermon early on which they hear, then a longer (and heavier!) one later on once the children have gone out to do their own stuff.

Most place will have "welcomers" on the door to give you a hymn book - if you tell them you're new they'll help you out.

The most confusing thing is likely to be when to stand, sit or kneel, but just copy the people round you and you'll be fine. And/or just sit quietly and don't feel you have to join in with all of it if you just want to start by watching.

HTH

AlwaysTheMummy · 29/09/2010 14:43

Thank you for all your help, I'm just a little apprehensive about making that first step x

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/09/2010 14:45

In the CoS, you stand to sing, sit to pray, and kneeling is never required. :)

ShrinkingViolet · 29/09/2010 14:46

also they don't do communion every week, just a few times a year.

MrsCadwallader · 29/09/2010 14:54

Just wanted to wish you luck :) I don't know much about the Church of Scotland (am CofE myself) but do sympathise with you as an adult convert!

I agree with MumInScotland that the most difficult thing is likely to be knowing what to do / say and when but please don't be put off or daunted by it! Also, at some point (I assume) there will be communion - you don't have to go to the altar at all but in most churches there is some 'sign' you can give if you want to go up for a blessing rather than communion. In my present church it is to kneel at the altar without your hands out, and in my last church it was to kneel with your service sheet in your hands: the vicar / server will know by doing this that you are there simply for a blessing rather than communion. If you make it known that you are new, someone should let you know what the form is.

Also, on my first church visit I was a little alarmed by the 'peace'. Again, I don't know if this is applies to CoS but in a CofE service we 'greet each other with the peace' - this involves shaking the hands of the people around you and saying 'peace be with you'. Sorry if this is teaching you to suck eggs, but as someone who had never been to a service before this was unexpected and excruciating on my first visit! Rest assured it becomes second nature after a while!

HTH and good luck :)

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/09/2010 15:11

Communion in CoS is only three or four times a year, and you should be a member of the Church (there's a ceremony, it's not just regular attendance) before taking part. It'll be quite obvious that Communion is about to take place as (well, it was in my day) the Church will have the pews etc covered in white linens.

stressedHEmum · 29/09/2010 15:12

Just turn up. Most CoS services start at 11am but check the board outside or the local paper fro details.

CoS is different to CoE in the way it is governed and in some of the fundamental attitudes and practices , tbh. We are a fairly conservative presbyterian church with roots in Calvinism, so no pomp and ceremony, no images to speak of, no saints or whatever, no permanent head guy. Each church pretty much governs itself, answering to a local Presbytery and operating under the auspices of the General Assembly. All very democratic in theory.

Services run, in most churches, like this:

call to worship (sometimes interactive, will be on order of service, usually)
hymn
children's address, prayer, hymn,
kids go out to Sunday School (some churches have SS before service)
prayer
hymn
reading
hymn
sermon
hymn
prayer
offering and dedication
hymn
Benediction
Amen
Doxology

Or some variation of the above, although I have been attending CoS churches all my life and I have yet to see significant variation, perhaps the offering uplifted at a different time or 5 hymns instead of 6. I like to think of it as an hour long hymn sandwich.

CoS churches have little in the way of responses and what not (minister will always indicate if they are looking for a response during prayer), no kneeling or anything like that usually (the old dears in my current church would probably die of shock if the minister asked them to kneel!) We usually stand when the Word is being carried in or out and we stand for hymns but that is usually all, unless it's a baptism or Communion and then the minister tells you when to stand anyway.

CoS churches are all individual, so there is a lot of room for different styles of worship so, depending on the minister and demographic of the congregation, you might get a traditional organist and traditional hymns (our church and most of the other churches in the town) or a praise band and contemporary worship song (the CoS that all the young folk in the town go to.)You don't have to dress up or wear a hat or anything, although some of the older ladies still do and my mother bought me "a lovely pair of leather gloves and matching bag" to wear to church for my last birthday. I am now officially old.

As AMIS says, there should be folk on the door to welcome you and give you a hymn book and order of service. If it's anything like our church, they will spot a new face at 100 yards and will be delighted to welcome you and help you out if you need it.

You don't have to join to go. Just go along and see how you get on. If you want to join after a while, ministers usually run a series of communicant's classes once or twice a year. You go to these (our last lot lasted 4 weeks, I think, mine lasted nearly 3 months back in the dark ages.) They cover basic doctrines and beliefs, a bit of church history, issues that you might want to discuss. Then there is a short ceremony where you stand up at the front and make some declarations and promises. Then you are a member. Lots of people never actually join, though, they just go along.

Joining gives you privileges and responsibilities. You promise to give of your time, talents and monies, so eventually you might be asked to take on a position on the Board, or help with the Creche, or make the tea or help fundraise or do World Mission/Christian Aid/Fairtrade/Eco Church, join the choir or any of the other things that go on.

Like AMIS, I think that you should just go along and basically copy everyone else. Don't think that you have to join in with everything or send the kids out to Sunday School if you don't want to.

stressedHEmum · 29/09/2010 15:20

OldLady, you don't have to be a member to take communion any more, in fact we had a couple at our last communion who had never been in church before. I think the "rules" as it were are that you have to be either a member or an adherent, but, mostly, if you are an adult in the church during communion you will be served.

Do churches still do the white linen on the pews thing? I thought that my church was to old fashioned to live and we only do the whole white thing on the communion table and pulpit now, although Kirk Session does INSIST that the minister wears her robes and the white stole thing even though she doesn't like it.

MrsCad, I don't think that we would do the whole "peace" thing. It's not something that I have ever seen in a CoS. Sometimes after Communion, the minister will ask us to wish each other the peace of Christ, but that's about all. Even then, most of the folk in my current church and other I have attended over the years are quite uncomfortable with it.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 29/09/2010 15:27

Ah, thanks for the update stressedHEmum, it's a long time since I joined the Church and almost as long since I took Communion.

[lapsed]

MrsCadwallader · 29/09/2010 15:50

stressedHEmum that's ok then! It's always something I feel I need to warn new church-goers about cos I was really Blush when I found I actually had to talk to people on my first visit. Shock

It all felt very un-British Grin but I actually like it now!

jaffacakeaddict · 29/09/2010 17:23

Many churches have websites. You could google your local church to find out service times. It'll also give you an idea about whether or not they offer a creche.

Patienceobtainsallthings · 29/09/2010 20:56

I can honestly say that 4 of my best friends i met at church.I would never have dreamt of that 10 yrs ago ,i have always gone alone and then when i had kids they sat with me in church .I love the vibe of my church has a 1500 yo link with Christian worship and a very alive and vibrant place 2b.I love the white linen,i think the church looks beautiful .Have a lovely Sunday x

AlwaysTheMummy · 30/09/2010 09:00

Thank you for all your replies, they were very helpful.

The church I am going to attend has a website and I emailed them with some questions, they replied and said I was more than welcome to come along, so roll on Sunday 10:15am.

I'm excited but nervous at the same time x

OP posts:
jaffacakeaddict · 30/09/2010 18:34

Have a great time. Wouldn't it be lovely if you met one of the ladies on this forum!

stressedHEmum · 30/09/2010 19:57

That's lovely. I.m sure that you'll have a great time.

Don't be nervous, all will be well.

purpleturtle · 30/09/2010 20:03

Mrs Cadwallader - you're lucky they shook your hand. It's full on hugs in our church! Shock Took me aback a bit when we first arrived, and I've been in churches all my life!

stressedHEmum · 03/10/2010 13:32

How did you get on? Hope you enjoyed it. We had our harvest thanksgiving, today.

AlwaysTheMummy · 03/10/2010 14:08

Thank you for remembering, I had a fantastic day and can't wait to go along next week and take the children with me. I decided to go alone today and suss it out and everyone was just so warm and friendly, a few live just around the corner and one even offered her 'taxi' services if I ever wanted a lift to church.

We are having a harvest lunch next week, I signed myself and the 2 kids up to go x

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