No one else to ask, Islamic advice needed

[NordicPrincess]

Hello,

About 5yrs ago I converted to Islam when I went up to visit my friend in scotland. I had been intrested and wanted to convert to islam since i was 10yrs old and while my parents are not religious, in fact the very opposit i never did. When i returned from my break to see her i had no muslim friends here, I had not been taught to pray or any of the little "done things" that most born muslims just learn through their family uprbringing. The local mosque does not do anything for women. I then moved to university and becamse pregnant with my son and subsequently had my daughter aswell. We have moved back to my home town and even through all these years there have been little signs inviting me back to the religion. Its like its always there waiting for me tempting me back to practising. Im worried i have left it to late, i so wish that I had taken the time after converting when you are "cleansed" but instead i commited pretty much every sin possible after converting (typical me) and now to put it mildly im fucked.

What do i do? i dont know how to pray, i have no one to share my islam with (dp is non beleiver of anything, although beleives in "something")

I just feel lost, like something is missing.

Any help or ideas?

Thanks
:)

thank you riven, thats what i keep reminding myself, the relationship between me and god. not anything else, i suppose i just feel like its not as "proper" if there is no outward show of it if you know what i mean?

I live in Reading in Berkshire, if that helps at all...

How do i know if im saying them right? ive tried to search online but i cant find an audio of each or any of the 5 daily preyers?

i also keep having this deep need to confess, i suppose i feel so guilty for not having done what i am supposed to...

thank you for your advice

I don't think you should blame yourself for what has happened since you converted. Once a person converts the people around them ie the person who you converted through have an obligation to stay with you for 40 days to teach you and to help you through things. I know my DH stayed with his friend when he converted and said that he learnt a lot during that time.

I'd definitely go back to zero as Riven says and start again from Shahada.

There are lots of books which cover the basics on how to pray. If you could get to London you could have a look in the book shop inside Regents Park Mosque. Theres also another bookshop right beside Baker street tube which pretty much always has women in Melcombe street.

I've just had a look on youtube and there are a few videos which show you how to do wudu (abolution before prayers),
and how to pray

I hope that helps.

MrsSnow

Hi I am very much in the same boat as you,I now have a daughter.I had always been intrested in islam and decided to convert when i was on holiday.My family are not religious either.I dont know how to pray and would like to get into it more.I'm exactly the same i find there is always things tempting back into it.My partner is a muslim though and so is his family.If you want to chat more about it as i have no one i can really discuss it properly with too,I feel very confused at times like torn between two worlds.
Inshallah to you that you will find the help and guidance your looking for.

Thank you for your advice, i think i will just start with the basics and try and work my way up.

Miss mummy T, when you say torn between two worlds that very much how i feel, i spoke to my dads best friend (whos christian) and he said that its called spiritual warfare or something similar. Its where god is testing you and you just have to grin and bear and work your way through it until you make your decision. I did so and then was left feeling empty. All i did was cry, i couldnt sleep or eat it was all consuming, felt like i was being torn in two. When it stopped and i still hadnt reconciled my faith i felt like god had deserted me as i still hadnt made any firm decisions or begun practsing as i should.
What i realise now is that hes dne his bit, hes made me realise that even when im away from islam my faith never leaves me as i still feel drawn back to it and i cant forget it. this is how i know that its true and real and this gives me great comfort knowing i truly do believe.

I wonder if you know what i mean?

Allah is merciful and knows your intentions.

I was born to Muslim parents but didn't learn to pray until I was in my late 20s. There are some very good and simple salah books which have the Arabic and English transliteration. I started with that but also posted on some forums for someone to help me. A lovely girl responded and we met up. That really helped.

nordicprincess

muslim converts network

Reading is one of the best places to be a convert, There are a lot of convert sisters very active in the local community (I am one of the less active ones)

there is a lovely new mosque being built

www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=37644528728

and some lovely people

www.facebook.com/#!/AROUND.THE.WORLD.READING
assalaamu alikum :)

How are things since you started this thread?
If you have any more questions I will be happy to try to answer them or at least point you in the right direction.