Baptism/Confirmation/Godparent problem.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

DD1 is being confirmed in a couple of weeks. As she was never baptised she needs this doing at the same time. I thought being 14 and choosing it herself would cancel out the need for godparents but have discovered today she will need some.

Now. with only 10 days to go need to find some suitable willing peoples. Only suitable ones I think are DH's aged aunt and uncle (most of my friends and relatives are a godless bunch).

Do girls need 2 women 1 man? or 2 men and 1 woman? does the agedness of aunt and uncle matter? does she really need 3?

and how come october is just around the corner and i'm not ready?

Is there someone within the church you could ask? Not necessarily someone you are close to know but you know will fufil those duties? e.g a person who has already been influential in her spiritual life.

As far as I'm aware there is nothing set in stone to say what combination of Godparents you have - I believe it is traditional for a girl to have 2 women and 1 man.
I have to say I would have thought at 14 she is able to make those promises for herself especially as she is going forward for confirmation. Are you standing up and making the baptismal promises on her behalf as well? If not I find it strange they would want Godparents to do that.
Having said that some churches encourage confirmation candidates to have 'sponsors' who fulfil a Godparenty type role but are not actually official.. I wonder if that is what the church mean?

Gah sorry - ignore all the typos!

You can ask who you (and she) want, even if they haven't a hope of getting to the event as someone can stand proxy for them at the ceremony.

Many churches require Godparents to have been baptized (any denomination).

thanks. will phone vicar tomorrow.

We have a big mix of godps for our dds. Nothing is set is stone AFAIK.

Ask dd who she wants.

You don't have to have Godparents at all. Speak to your priest and explain the situation especially if you are struggling to find someone suitable.

All of the above.

My OH was baptised and confirmed at 14 as well. He chose a couple of older friends - sixthformers, I think - who were already confirmed and committed Christians; he also chose a family friend, and a Christian teacher who he was v good friends with. But there might equally be people at your church who would stand as godparent, or who would stand as proxy for other people who might not make it to the service. We had a proxy for one of our kids, and also one of them has a relatively elderly godparent (in their seventies to my child's almost-teen).

But C of E requirements are that the godparents/sponsors are themselves baptised.

But godparents aren't required, though they are nice! I don't have any

From the CofE website:

"Those who are older when they are baptised have sponsors rather than Godparents. The role of the sponsor is not to speak for the person being baptised, but to formally present them for baptism and to help them in their growth as Christians after they have been baptised. There need to be at least two and preferably three sponsors and they are chosen by the candidates for baptism themselves. Like Godparents they need to be baptised and normally also confirmed."

I was baptised and confirmed at the same time, and I didn't choose godparents. My sponsor was the person who run the confirmation classes.

If you need to pick someone, why not choose someone from your church family?