OK, this can't be a coincidence now, can it?

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I had DS1 in March '06. A few days later, a knock at the door and a lady said hello, how are you etc. I thought maybe it was a HV or something I didn't recognise, but then she said she wouldn't keep me and handed me a leaflet - she was a JWitness (can't spell it!). Lovely lady, admired my DS and then went on her way. I had never had a JW come to any door before.
Had DS2 in August '08, different house. About 2 weeks later, a knock at the door. I didn't answer as I was busy, door is downstairs and most the house is upstairs, but when I went down later there was a JW leaflet on the floor.
DS3 is 10 weeks. I thought the last two were just coincidence, he is 10 weeks now... just answered a knock at the door....

DS was fast asleep upstairs, we had a little chit chat at the door, I said I was RC and was intending to stay RC (politely, when they asked me if I had thought about reading the bible) and they read a passage from Revelations to me, and when they said about no more tears DS started crying suddenly upstairs (OK, that was coincidence but it startled me!), they said they would let me get back to baby (they were two lovely ladies) and that was that.

Feel abit funny now

Maybe they're watching you?

Just coincidence, and nothing more. There isn't really much of a pattern given the ages of your DCs on each occasion.

This is what annoys me about people who make unsolicited calls - they have no idea of the personal circumstances they are intruding upon. Yes, they were lovely ladies because they have rehearsed the patter. Most cold callers to your door will have that patter, whatever it is. All of them will have a list of addresses that they can put a tick against, and that's really what matters to them.

Pay no mind to them. If you continue to feel a bit funny, have a chat with your parish priest. (And ask if it's permissible to just shut the door in their faces - which is what I have been doing for decades.)

They may have called at other times,when you have been out. You're more likely to see them shortly after each child was born as you are more likely (if you're anything like me!) to have been in the house.

Hello,

I do agree that this is a co-incidence, but I also think that it's flaggng something up to you. You wouldn't notice double-glazing eaflets unless you were aware that your windows were in a state, and I think you're noticing this not because you want to join the JWs but because you are in need of looking after yourself spiritually. As an RC this may be going to mass, or reading your Bible more, or you may want to try meditation. Whatever it is, I think the fact that you're thinking about this is a sign that you need to pay attention to your own spiritual needs, in the way that is right for you.

Or maybe it's because of the post-natal aspect of it -- people who arrive at your house all dressed up and carrying their briefcases, and being ultra polite, with their agenda and leaflets and their focus on their message are a world away from the harried lifestyle of the average mum with a newborn and two little ones, and the contrast is quite a shock?

You do see them more when you're at home. I may have scared my local branch away by bringing my own RC church leaflet out and offering it to them, pointing out the Mass times and the parish phone numbers...

spiritmum - you have hit the nail on the head - thankyou! I slept with their 'family' leaflet under my pillow for some reason.... it's just so hard getting to mass with a 4 yo, 2 yo and 10 week old :(

Lemonade, I had exactly the same issue when I had my little ones. If you want to receive Communion contact your parish priest and tell him that you can't make it to mass and can you be added to the home communion visits. Either he will come in person or he will send a lay person round with consecrated bread and wine. All churches should offer this service as part of their ministry to people who are housebound whatever the reason.

If you feel the need for meeting other families look around for a 'pram service' or similar. These are usually weekdays at a civilised time and involve a very short informal service plus crafts and refreshments, and are aimed at under 5s and their carers. Might not hit the spot as far as Mass is concerned but you will get a dose of Christian worship and fellowship. I used to run one and although it was Anglican we had Catholic families join us, so look at other denominations, too.

Must go, am coooking tea. Will post more later. x

I used to sit in the back a lot and nip out frequently. Then the church allocated a cry room with cc tv -- fab.

Sorry, Lemonade. I should have said 'people who can't get to mass' not who are housebound'. FWIW I had home communion when dd1 and dd2 were babies.

Math, the problem I had was that I was so sleep-deprived with dd1 and so manic with dd2 that on a Sunday morning I simply couldn't get to church in time for the service. I wasn't remotely fussed about noise, it was actually getting there in the first place that I couldn't manage.

Lemonade, you could have a 'domestic church' at home. So you can keep the festivals, have a shrine to Mother Mary or a saint, and maybe have a daily ritual for you and your dc where you light a candle and say a blessing before your evening meal or before bed. Your older two can collect leaves, pebbles, flowers, feathers etc to bring to your home shrine.

My last idea may be a bit dodgy theologically but I've done this and I know others have too, and that is to give yourself communion. Bear in mind that in the early church Communion was much more like a shared meal. When I did it I had some grape juice and bread and I used an alternative communion liturgy from the Northumbria Community. I knew it wasn't 'real' communion but it was a way for me to honour something important.

I remember feeling so stressed about getting there in the first place and then trying to stop the DCs from killing themselves or sustaining a serious injury from the pews/ kneeling boards/ floors that I felt I had 'been' to Mass but hadn't really been there. If you asked me what the readings were or what the sermon was about I couldn't have told you a lot of the time. Having them romp around in the foyer was a bit less stressful but still not conducive to attentive worship... I consoled myself with the hope that it's the thought that counts...

The DCs sometimes surprised me with how much they had actually picked up and noticed at Mass, when I thought they were just really fascinated by the furnishings and the little pieces of gum stuck under the seats.

We always do a grace before meals at dinner time, plus prayers at bedtime. You can fit little rituals into a good few aspects of daily life even if Mass is temporarily not the focus of your spiritual life for whatever reason.

thanks, I think I will make a special place to pray at home, I hadn't thought of that! I usually pray laying in bed We have 2 churches - one had a sound proof room with speakers (but I am stillw ary of taking them all because the 4 & 2 yo are so noisy), but someone stole lead from the roof (!) so it's been closed a while and the other church holds both Sunday masses now but there isn't a place for kids - I sat in a tucked away corner last time unfortunatly near the candles and DS started lighting loads I was going to try this morning though but was up 'til 4 babysitting. DH is off next Sunday (after 13 days in a row!) so maybe I can get him to look after the 2 yo while I take the 4yo and 10 week old - the 4 yo goes to the church school (of the broken roof church, but they are joined) so I did say to myself I'd start going again once he started school.

we have a community church (?) in our town that has toddler rooms or clubs or something (?) - says it's a family church, but I don't understand what it is...

Hmm, well most community churches tend to be independent, evangelical or charismatic churches IME. I'd expect lots of modern hymns and hand-waving. Toddler club sounds like some kind of creche for during services but I may be totally wrong.

Maybe your dh could have your 4 yr old and your 2 yr old while you go to mass so you can just go with your baby and have (hopefully) some quiet spiritual time?

I think it's important for the 4 yo to start going again as he has just started school which is the church school so will now have friends going etc.

I understand that, but I still think it is hard for you to get anything from it of you have a fidgeting four yr old with you. I couldn't take my 4 yr old to a full service.

What about going to talk to the school (as it is linked with the church) and ask if there is any chance ofsome kind of provision for children being set up for during mass? At the Anglican church here children stay for the first hymn, then go off with a couple of adults and make somehing related to a Bible story or Christian theme. They come back in before Communion and show what they have made or share what they have talked about with the adults. As your ds had friends at church with him this might be a really nice way to bring the families together.

You would need adults to run it but it's surprising how many people are willing to join in - and older teens, too.

Another idea are 'pew bags' which have a few things such as crayons, colouring pads etc to keep children occupied - of course you can out your own bag of bits together to take with you.

There is a thing where kids go off but it's at the church that I dom't tend to go to because it doesn't have a childrens room, and I am not sure they take them from 4... It's every 2 weeks last time I read about it, but I keep checking the newsletter online and it hasn't meantioned it in ages so unsure if it's still going. I do take toys, I think I will take some more things like crayons next time. Once I get back into the swing of it I may ask about having a childrens service, or childrens corner or something - I went to a Christening recently (C of E) and they have a little corner with puzzles and crayons! I will give it a whirl on Sunday and see how I get on