I feel like the devil's child

[AsalamAlaykum]

I go weekly to church. I enjoy it and go because I want to worship, pray etc...and also to find a better person within myself.

I'm not a very nice person sometimes. I swear alot, call people horrid names to their faces even and think terribly nasty things about people and I am very judgemental too for instance I saw a girl today and she wasnt dressed in clean, fashionable clothes like most other girls her age would so I thought she must come from a scruffy council estate.

Churchgoers, do you also feel like this sometimes? I feel I am in sin for thinking/feeling/doing these things.

You are.

Do you pass by the other side?

I am???

Do you not think it is sinful to call people horrible names to their face?

yes I do and I want to stop but even if I try not to say nasty things to peoples faces I end up thinking it. Isnt that sinful to even think it?

only acting on thoughts has the potential for evil (won't say sinful .. don't believe in sin)

but can god help me or do I have to help myself?

This is going to be my last comment, as I don't go to church, and therefore feel fraudulent answering this post, but...

The way I see it is, if you are thinking horrible things, and not saying them, and trying not to think them, you are doing your best as a Christian.

If you are doing horrible things, and acting on your prejudiced judgements about people, I think that is a sin.

This is only the opinion of someone who last attended a church aged 11, so discount me if you wish. I have a very "primary school" view on it.

?

if you believe in god you must believe that he gave you free will

you are responsible for your actions

why would an outer force help you?

maybe prayer can give you peace but continuing on a path you know is destructive and just admitting it once a week cannot be healthy nor good for your 'soul'

at least you know you're being horrible....or does that make it worse???

I will not discount your views Colditz, they are very valued and welcomed. TY

I know what you mean Twiglett which is exaclty the question I am asking myself. Maybe I am destined to be a nasty person.

Other churchgoers, do you ever feel urges of nastiness?

Sophable, I do think it makes it worst. I am sure I should not be thinking any thoughts of evil.

How about doing some voluntary work on council estates, where I'm sure you'll meet many well dressed people in clean, fashionable clothes. Which will help you become less judgemental, no?

what do you call a 'horrid name' and what makes you call people them .. give a for instance

thats a great idea tigermoth, thanks. They are frequently advertising for outreach children's workers on the inner-city council estates in my local city. I do feel terrible for thinking such things, and I myself did used to live in a council estate.

I just spoke to my church-going friend and he says I am a sinner

Our thoughts sooner or later define our actions. The Christian church labels this sin. Personally rather than alienaing oneself with the emotion / actions of `sin´it seems to me more logical and spiritual to embrace it. So like tigermoth said get involved outside your worldview is a good way to perhaps overcome these emotions and thoughts.

This is not Christian text, but you may get the drift...

´When women understand their Ultima Madre, or their final mother, they can build altars and fetishes of these powers. When they feel the influence of Crazy Woman or the Death Mother, in the form of depression or gloom, they can light candles and burn copal and honor her great dark side. You see, her intent only defines your goodness and beauty. By honoring the dark side, you destroy her power over you. Then she can't take you.´

Jaguar Woman, Lynn Andrews

Lynn, the author, is taken into a temple where she meets the Four Mothers, Nuturing Mother, Rainbow Mother, Crazy Woman and Death Mother. She is taught that each woman has one of these mothers that is her basic nature. Most are either Nurturing Mother or Rainbow Mother. But each woman also will experience in her lifetime, the opposite darkside mother, that lives across the wheel from her own mother.

So rather than the devil´s work these are just emotions and thoughts that every human has and can ignore as ignorance or face and grow to be a better person.

We are all only human AsalamAlaykum do not be so hard on yourself

god doesnt need to tell you that calling people horrid names and thinking terriby nasty things is wrong.

common sense should tell you that, sorry.

......and, how nice for you that you don't have to live in 'a scruffy council estate'.

In the words of the great Metallica ~ 'Judge not lest ye be judged yourself'

well I live in a council house on a council based estate so yeah BadgerBadger you have a point.

BadgerBadger and MummyOfFour, if you would read all of my posts on this thread you will see that I once lived on a council estate too so I was not getting at you or any other council estate livee's.

FFS!

You really are prone to making snap judgements about people it seems!

I did not say where I live and yes, thanks, I did read all of your posts, prior to posting.

trip trap trip trap???

alexsmum, are you thinking what I'm thinking perchance?

You are not the devils child....the devil is 4 yrs old and he lives with me.