I'm a bit nervous about my mates' dogs coming to stay.

[tyaca]

Friends coming to stay. Last time they came they brought their two dogs, both I knew. I was a bit freaked when I found out dogs were coming too, but it worked out fine. We have a couple of store room at back of flat, off kitchen that lead to outside steps. Dogs slept there, came in occasionally, all was fine. we have lots of outside space worked out fine. dd was 6months then, immobile.

they are whippets, one of whom since died we have stayed at their house since and dd (now 2.4) loves the dogs so much. they are/were very placid, she would sleep in their baskets if allowed .

we now also have a 12mo. He very active and can't really be told about being gentle in same way she can. also, they now have two new dogs who i've never met.

suddenly feeling a bit nervous.

if i rang and said i was worried, they would volunteer to leave dogs at mate's dad. they offered last time, but i got over it and was glad i did. it meant that their whole family came IYKWIM. know dd would love dogs here again.

but am nervous about having three dogs here, two of whom i've never met. and also with ds being young and could easily grab, pull, hurt one.

as you can tell, i'm not from a dog family myself. is it ok to feel worried? what can I about it? i know i need to chat to mates, but don't want to come across like a dick . they are dh's friends mainly, and haven't quite got a relationship with them where i can talk freely. they are ace hosts and we always go to theirs, glad they coming here and that our flat etc could suit dogs too. just worried about a) feeling a bit strange having dogs en masse in flat in first place and b) anything happening to ds. i feel a bit prissy to be worried (and i have spent 7 years trying to persuade these people that i'm not uptight...

I definitely am a dog person & don't think you're being prissy at all. It's really kind of you to let them bring their dogs round & very sensible to be concerned about your DS - I'd like a friend like you!

Given that all went well last time and they sound sensible too, why not just ring them and approach it from the point of view that you really want them all to come but you're a bit worried about how DS might behave towards the dogs & you don't want him to hurt them. That way there is nothing to offend them & it will give them chance to reassure you if the dogs are fine, or if they feel not they will leave them behind.

Obviously if they are not used to very young children then they will need careful introductions. If you have baby gates then they can be ideal for keeping everyone apart to give you all a break. Even if they are the fabbiest dogs in the world, obviously never leave dog and child alone (DS or DD) for even a minute as the nicest child can grab, poke or trip and the only way a dog can say no is to growl or bite.

That's not to frighten you. If you are all careful and relaxed then there is no reason it won't all go as well as last time. There are bound to be people who will say don't let any dogs near any children, but really they are missing out. You and your friends sound really sensible & I hope you have a good time together, but don't be afraid to speak to them. If they are really friends, they will be pleased you did.

cheers, and cheers for reassuring me that my concerns are okay. i do need to have the chat i know. agh, i can't even get dh to do it, cause it will so clearly be my worries .

like i said, last time i barely even noticed the dogs. i think the back bit of flat worked really well for them, and we were outside lots.

Good luck with the chat - hope it all goes well

Fuzzy said just what I would. You aren't being prissy at all (I too am a dog owner). The advice you have been given imho is spot on, especially wrt stairgates - perhaps you could borrow one or two of the spring kind which don't require screwing to the walls? (Damned if I can think of the proper name for them, it's been a long day!).

BUT... if you feel insecure about the dogs after thinking it over/speaking to the friends, do tell them that you feel that new dogs are incompatible with your family and set-up. Far rather that than worry all the time they're with you, and after all, it's your home and your rules. (And that comes from a person whose dogs are her angels but who, hopefully, would nonetheless be considered by her friends to be considerate and respectful of their rules in their homes).