Fed up that DH no longer wants our dog.

[Harimo]

Well, that's it, really.

Been with Dh for 12 years. he has two teenager daughter.

We have a 2YO and 10MO.

We have a 7YO Ddog (choc lab).

The dog has never done a single thing wrong. EVER.

DH simply doesn't like the mess.

My parents have been looking after the dog recently (cos DH keeps losing it about the dog). But now it's apparent he doesn't want the dog back. Ever.

I'm cross. he says he never wanted a dog (which is true, but his daughters were complicent about it and he never said no).

I'm so sad. I'm trying to pass off to my parents that I'm struggling with the dog, but that's not true. I miss the dog loads. I just can't deal with the argument / atmosphere if the dog comes back.

Not really sure what I'm looking for.. I just want to know I'm not being unreasonable to want to keep a lovely family pet just beacause my Dh has changed his mind.

Hmm, DH knows that if I had to chose between him and the dog, the dog would come out on top every time.

He was warned, just a few months after he met me, when he was moaning to my father that I had too many pets, that I adored animals and he would never get me to agree to live without them. He had his chance to walk away then. He didn't. So in my eyes and my answer to every argument is that he knew what he was getting himself into and chose to stick around anyway.

I'd put my foot down if I was you, op. DH knew that your dog would live much longer than 7 years. He agreed to getting it anyway. Under duress maybe, but he agreed non the less.

What do his daughters say about the dog living at your parents?

DSDs don't much give a shit what happens here as long as they are taken to Jack Wills / A&F / another shop.

can you get him to list what he thinks are the problems with the dog - and see if any of them are solvable ?

To be honest - having had dogs and kids of that age - it tends to be the kids who make the most mess (although they don't tend to track in muddy paw prints or poo in the garden in the same way ).

I would also say that after 7 years of dog ownership - pretty much the dog is your family responsibility - you can't just opt out of it.

oh Harimo, thats rubbish for you. my DH doesnt like/want either of our dogs, but there has never been an option for him to say otherwise. i deal with all the dog related stuff, and very rarely does he have to do anything for/with them.

i would tell him that you do everything for the dog, he doesnt encroach on his life, so put up with it.

dont be 'beaten' into submission by sending the dog away

xx

A dog is an extension of the children - good job he doesnt mind his girls then .

Id just get your parents to say they cant take the dog then you take the chance to say to him that 7 years is a bit too late to realise he doesnt want the dog.

Then I think its up to you what happens - this cant just be all about a dog,theres other stuff too thats 'brewing' id guess.

Does DH clean up after himself all the time? I ask because my DH moans about the mess the cat and dog make, my answer is usually "Yes, I see what you mean. That bloody cat, with his take away cartons and lager cans, why can't he take them into the kitchen once he is done with them instead of leaving them on the living room floor? And the dog, with his wet towels and dirty underpants on the bathroom floor. The washing basket is in the bathroom, ffs. And which ever one of them owns those slippers that are always in the dining room, no matter how many times I take them back upstairs ...."

Umm a difficult one but the decision has to be made. Look into rehoming - maybe Valhala can help - I know she rehomes dogs I am sure she can rehome a DH no problem

def rehome the DH!!! loving shinys post, bet he doesnt clean up after himself!

What Shiney said. All the way, with knobs on.

Actually, what EVERYONE has said so far.

He opted to have a dog. For seven years that dog has given his family love and loyalty and never done anything wrong. Now he wants to dispose of him as if he were an unwanted cardigan waiting to go to the charity shop.

If he were my DH, tbh he'd be lucky to still have his testicles by this stage.

Please point out to your DH that you BOTH took on the responsibility of having a dog, as consenting adults and that as the poor animal has done nothing to deserve being unwanted, he will be staying.

Perhaps you don't like the mess made by his daughters....

PS minimu, I do have experience of rehoming a husband, having done so with my own, but there are some creatures I wouldn't want to touch unless I could personally castrate them.

I too would rehome the DH.

And not because I'm obsessive about dogs or that I prefer the dog to DH but because in my eyes he would have become someone who refuses to keep his responsibility up.

He would have become someone who couldn't model good behaviour to my children if he wanted to get rid of a 7 year old much loved pet just because it wasn't convenient for him.

In short - he would have become a twat and it's "Bye-bye to twats day on mumsnet"

I don't want to rehome DH though. I just want us to get on like we used to.

He didn't used to have so much of an issue with the dog. I try to make him see that the dog is, in a way, an extention of the kids and that I made a lifelong commitment to the dog when I got him (he is my dog, always has been).

I don't expect Dh to do anything with the dog at all.

I have written to him this morning and he has written back to say that I can keep the dog. I just wish he could see that the dog hasn't done a thing wrong (other than get older and his kids have tired of him - they were well into him when he was a puppy but both he and they are older now and they aren't bothered)

My animals keep me sane, perhaps you could point out that it would be even harder for him if you didn't have your dog....

Well, I would rather rehome a DH than a dog.........

I wonder if something else is bothering him and he's just taking it out on the dog. Maybe there's another reason for him being grumpy? I mean, you've had the dog for 7 years and only now is he getting fed up with the mess.

Valhala you are such a useful contact rehoming OH and castration!

I am sure there must be a business opportunity there