Clingy cocker help!

[rollerbaby]

Hi everyone
I've posted in here before on the same topic, but I really really need advice. I feel like we are really screwing things up and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

Cocker pup is now 6 months old and I am 16 weeks pregnant. He is a general delight in all ways other than fact he is now going backwards in crate training and also not wanting to sleep in crate at night. We have been away a bit so he has slept on our bed as simply refuses to sleep in crate other than our kitchen (but even now this is a problem). As a result, he is getting more and more fussy and doesn't even want to stay in the crate after walks when he is tired (which he was for up to 2 hours).

I'm really exhausted and cant' cope with sleepless nights at the moment - i.e. listen to him bark for 2 -3 hours in the middle of the night but don't know what else to do. We gave up at 2am last night and brought him up to sleep. I know this is wrong, but it does become a case of what you can cope with.

I suspect part of the issue is that we have a good routine in week and then weekends we are away or people come to stay and he has non stop attention which he loves. As his nature is definitely towards the clingy, we are obviously not helping him then cope the following week. Is this normal for 6 months? Will he get more independent as he gets older? We can't leave him hardly at all at the moment which makes life impossible even to go to supermarket etc as I know he will bark non stop. Or do we just get on and he will have to learn? I don't know what to do for the best any more.

Am I mad to continue letting him sleep with us? I know the general advice is no dogs in bedrooms with babies, but would it really be so bad when the time comes? He is very good with kids and so long as he is on the floor surely this would not be the end of the world?

I really need help for nighttime which doesn't involve letting him bark for hours!!

Sorry for long ranty post...

thanks in advance.

I have a cocker and they are definately clingy and manipulative.I'm sorry to say I gave up with the crate and she sleeps in our bedroom...she really doesn't mind...lol

In the spirit of cocker owner friendliness, I googled 'clingy cocker spaniels'

oh my, there are LOADS of them

They're clearly a needy lot

I think you have to tell yourself that he'd PREFER to sleep with you, but he can't and that's that.

He'll get used to it - and a better sense of independence will be good for when the baby arrives too

OK thanks so much ladies I really appreciate your support here. I never anticipated being so stressed about doggy sleeping habits!!!

We will tough it out again and keep going. I've just taken him for long walk with loads of playing with dogs so please god he falls straight to sleep tonight. Am sooooo tired myself I would pay for sleep right now!

I think if life hasn't improved by the weekend we will have to call in a behaviourist...

Can anyone recommend a good person in SW London?

xx

BREAKTHROUGH!!!!

Quick message but wanted to tell you as we would never be here without you all...

11pm bedtime
15 mins of barking and then silence!!!
Slept til 4am when dawn chorus started... barked for not sure how many hours but IGNORED!!
Woke up at 7am to NO BARKING!!!!

We're not sure how long he was quiet for but we rushed down (not too mch attention initially dont worry).

He got BIG cuddles!!!

Thank you thank you thank you...

yay - Honeymoo you are a star. Carry on and don't give in for a while to let bad habits creep back in!

You deserve the distinction for suviving the extinction burst over the last few days (sorry we call it distinction behaviour in our training circle as that is what you get it you survive it - technical name extinction burst!)

No way are we giving in... we are on the home straight! It was funny really cos Mr Moo came into the bathroom last night and said, I can't keep doing this and I was like NO WAY are we giving up and letting the will of a dog beat us. I think the fatigue was making me even more determined to do it.

Bless him he was so happy this morning, we had an extra big play in the park and he's off to his doggy sitters for more park and dog play today so he will be having a lovely day and really tired tonight.

Can't tell you how happy I am!

Extinction behaviour seriously works - nerves of steel required!!! So glad we didn't give in! I have to say, I feel for people with puppies who have kids etc as it must be near impossible to put up with it when you have little ones too.

Hoorah for mumsnet pet people! xx

Have you thought about a puppy pen rather than a crate,or a combination.We have a 1 year old cocker,until about 3 months ago he had a crate inside a puppy pen which meant that he had a little more space and could get out of his bed if necessary.We than moved to bed in puppy pen (crate now in car) and have just dispensed with the pen and he has the run of the kitchen.

another tip;try www.cockersonline.co.uk it is a mine of information on subjects like these,clingyness seems to be a bit of a cocker trait and there is also stacks of information on crate training and separation on the forum;I am Pip1965 and my cocker is Otto ,there are also quite a few people posting at the moment who are either pregant or have very young babies which you might find helpful

Hi Bourbon I have indeed been posting on there too - so might have been one of those people.

We did have a pen in the early days, but we took it away when he was ready for housetraining through the night. We felt it would be more confusing for him and take longer to housetrain ultimately. He still has the odd accident inside, so don't want to give him any reason to get worse in that sense.

After last night, I feel really resolved that we are doing the right thing and it IS working. finally!

I think when he's a bit older and chewing has definitely stopped (although this doesn't seem too bad in all honesty) we will pop crate in car and just keep his bed in there for him. I wonder at the moment if that would be a bit much and he will be more secure inside his crate. Also, don't want him chewing kitchen table!!!

thanks Bourbon

We never had any problems with housetraining and the pen but you sound like things are going well anyway,I think what I have learnt with things like the jumping up are that perseverence and consistancy are the key...very hard though because he is so sweet.I do find the pen helpful when I need to separate him from the children though whether form his or their benefit.

Waaaah last night bit tramatic.

Picked him up from sitters. One exhausted puppy. Noticed a slight limp when we got home which we need to keep an eye on. Really concerned the sitter is overdoing it on the exercise/playing with other dogs. He looked a bit funny getting up from a lying down position. really worried about hip displasia and freaked out a bit. Anyway we will see about that... hopefully nothing.

Barking from 3am until 6.30 when we went down (no sign of abating). Had done a little bit of diarrahoea in his bed so think that may have been reason for barking and not trying to come upstairs. Not sure though. So hard to know. TIRED today and got to work late!

Feeding him plain rice today and hoping tummy better later so will hopefully sleep a bit better from the wee hours tomorrow. God how long is this all going to take - I need a week off to sleep!!!!!

If you are still reading my whinging post. Thank you!!

Hi honeymoo,just wondered how things were going?