Children and death of pet - funeral or not?

[theyoungvisiter]

Our v elderly and much loved cat has died today. I'm upset but I'm not sure what to do about DS1 (who is 3, nearly 4).

Do you think seeing the body and/or helping with burial would help him understand? Or is better for the cat to just "disappear" while he's at nursery?

He's very fond of the cat and will ask lots of questions I'm sure.

You might be surprised how accepting he is: I thought my DDs would be upset when our cat died but they were just interested (and the little girl next door told me it would be ok because we could get another one). We had a funeral so they knew she was gone iyswim.

Could you do a memorial service in the garden? I am not sure about a funeral and seeing the cat, to be brutally honest it won't be the same pussy cat that he last saw for various reasons. However could you not bury the cat yourself for you?

My MIL was quite factual when her cat died to my dn and she has accepted it quite naturally although does ask where the cat is occasionally - or she tells other people that the cat has died and it is very sad, I think they are quite accepting of death, or sometimes they get over it far quicker than we do. But dn is 2 nearly 3 not 3 nearly 4.

So sorry for your loss and I hope you find a solution for you.

at the two opposite responses!

I think he will be fairly accepting but I'd just like to help him understand if you know what I mean - I'm sure it will be ok either way.

Thanks for the sympathy - it wasn't at all a surprise - he was ancient and starting to have problems walking and seeing so probably all for the best - but of course still sad.

My mums cat sadly got hit by a car about a month ago my ds was very attached to it. My mum and my sis 8 had a burial But I just explained to my ds4 that the cat had died and had gone to heaven with her mum.

He asked if the cat was happy I said yes and he moved on so much that he could not understand why people were sad because if mummy said the cat was happy then he was happy. I would explain it to him in the way you want to but try not to make a big deal out of it and he won't.

thanks