My parents are paralysed with fear that our new lab pup will maime the baby

[Flum]

How likely is their fear. Our kids are 6, 3 and half and 18 months. We ALL really want the dog and know the first 6 months will be really hard and a bit crazy but I am home all day and have time to devote to the dog and am willing to send it to puppy boarding school if necessary as I really want a well behaved dog.

I am worried my parents will never come and visit us.

They make me feel I am risking the children as dogs attack and go for the throat and the face and the hands.

My children are obviously sooooo precious to me and I of course don't want them attacked.

Your parents are being daft.

Your children must learn to respect the puppy and not treat it like a toy. It's good to have crate or somewhere the pup can go to get away where it won't be disturbed.

Enrol in dog training classes as soon as possible and practice what you're taught.
Decide on rules and boundaries for the pup, teach them kindly and stick to them and I'm sure you and your children will have a lovely time with your puppy.

It will take a little longer than 6 mnths before he grows up, but if your'e sensible the puppy stage can be lots of fun as well as hard work.

Well, if it's any consolation I have just got a lab puppy and I have a 5yr, 4yr and a 5mth old. I have no concerns in doing this, but I do ensure that common sense is followed by all of us too. For example if the dog is in bed she must be allowed to stay there in peace, she must always know it is a "safe" place for her away from the children. We have fenced off an area of the garden for the dog so the children can go out and play without needing supervision all of the time - plus it contains the dog poo area for us too making it easier to clean up. Meanwhile if the dog is about there is supervision for the children etc. As a breed they are generally very friendly, though excitable and need plenty of stimulation - Kongs, chews, lots of exercise etc. Never say never as there will always be the exception to the rule, but your choice of breed to have with a family sounds like a good one to me.

one of our lab puppies did chew dd2 slightly (thoughtful) but she was older and the puppy was over-excited and playing.

we've got 3 dcs and have now had two lab puppies at different times. i think as long as you are sensible, as above, it will all be fine.

in fact, if you want to cat me, i think i've got a 'raising puppies and kids together' book somewhere. it's on amazon too i think. seems sensible enough.

the biggest danger is the toddler getting knocked over by an over-exuberant puppy tbh, rather than mauling - it took our choc about 18 months to calm down. has never been a problem with the black though - different dogs will have different temperaments, but labs can be pretty giddy for a while!

Well I fancied a whippet as we have my friends to stay for the odd holiday week and she is NO trouble and SO easy and the 3 year old walks her round house on lead and she is so easy going. However, my husband really is the black lab type and that is what he really wants and they are fun affectionate dogs probably more so than whippets. Also kids moving school to village school which is 1.2mile walk along country path so ultimately it may be good exersize for dog and kids and me!

(lol, realised i didn't explain chewing - a slight nick from a puppy tooth when dd2 was holding a dog toy and the puppy jumped up for it. this was 4 years ago, and despite dd2's wailing at the time 'i'm bleeeeeeeeeding', they are still the best of friends)

Your parents are being a litte over dramatic. The puppyhood will be tough but so worth it.

Your kids need to respect the dog but there may be a bit of ankle chasing going on and my lad used to love catching hold of ds's sleeves as he went past.....puppy classes are a must as are lots of toys for dog to chew. Do not engage in any tug of war games with it.

Labs are amazigly wonderful, patient and gentle with young children, in time he will grow to become a much loved member of your family.

Well the kids get little nips from the guinea pigs and are used to dogs as MIL has 3 including recently a lab puppy. It is exhausting when kids and pup together but in a good way as they seem to adore each other. My second dd used to put two cushions next to the puppy crate and have her afternoon nap there with the puppy. It was adorable.

I think we will all love the dog so much. I have wanted a dog since I was a child and my dh grew up with labradors and norfolk terriers usually 3 or 4 dogs at a time.

Thankd for offer of catting. will prob just look for the book ... don't know how to cat. think you have to be paid membe and don't pay any subs to mumsnet. I should I guess.

We had this before we got our pup. I wanted a Staffordshire Bull Terrier, I love them. I did loads of research into the breed and their suitability with children (one of only 2 breeds specifically reccomended by the KC!)

MIL was insistant that they are dangerous, will attack the children I have a 5yo and 18 month old, BIL offered Dh the money we paid for her to return her to the breeder!

As long as you have strict rules for you LOs regarding the dog it will be a fantastic addition to your family.

We have a stairgate to the kitchen, a crate, leave her alone whilst eating/sleeping etc, never smack/hit the dog, she is fantastic with them, seems to have a real affinity with them.

We have the start of a beautiful frienship here I think

I think that your parents are being a little dramatic, but I really really wouldn't (personally) get a puppy with such small children. We have a six month old puppy and children of 9 and 10, and there have been plenty of times when he has bitten all of us. Never in anger, but just because it's what puppies do when they are excited. With visitors I have noticed that the smaller they are the more exited he gets, and the more difficult they find it to cope with (it's much easier to explain to older children how to respond, and I think just harder for smaller children to stand still and be boring).

The likelihood that the pup will maim the children is I think pretty small, but it is likely that the smaller ones will be bowled over quite a lot, and that they will all be nipped at times. However if you are prepared for that, then I'd recommend that you find a trainer who could come to your house (should you need it) rather than think about puppy boarding school - my understanding is that it is the owner as much as the pup that needs to learn.

We've always had a dog and I always had dogs as a child. I used to train working collies and have a little experience training Spaniels to the gun. Dogs in our family have been an almost essential part of the kids' experience and education. Our last dog, Molly, Springer Spaniel (died 2008 - ooh, I'm welling up) was like Nanny from Peter Pan. She used to look after youngest DS as a toddler (now 14) and was his bestest friend. He used to take his afternoon naps tumbled in with her and her pups - like Mowgli from Jungle Book. Consequently he has the constitution of an ox.
As long as you realise (I'm sure you do) how dogs work - they're pack animals and while we humans might anthropomorphise them, it's essential they realise they're bottom of the pecking order, even below the cats if you have any (that's why they don't chase their 'own' cats) - but especially the kids. You don't have to do anything special to achieve this, just reprimand them (the pup that is, not the kid) if they get too rough, pups can be much rougher than kids in play. Their mother (or dominant dog) will growl and even snap and bite at them quite aggressively in a pack situation so don't be slow in doing the same (human equivelant) even if you think it was your little Johnny in the 'wrong'. (Though you can later explain to little Johnny about respect and not to take the piss with puppy).
If you reprimand your child for being rough with the puppy, in front of the puppy, (and they can tell, tone of voice etc) the puppy will get the idea you have given him dominance over the child because he looks to you as the dominant member of the pack. This is BAD and will lead to trouble, maybe not bad trouble but you don't want to take the chance. Dogs express their dominance with growls, snapping and biting - with other dogs that's ok but you don't want that with kids so don't let pup get ideas of dominance.
That being said, there are bound to be accidental nips, knockings over and squawking kids - so be it, won't do them any harm, toughen them up in fact, lol.
Food: Dogs are compulsive eaters lol, and can get aggressive and possessive over their food/bowls. If kids interfere and pup/dog growls or shows aggression (which they do with their own litter-mates), reprimand PUP/DOG for reasons above (dominance). This might not seem 'fair' but that's human conception of 'fair', not dogs'.
The 'food/feeding' business can be a good place to establish relationships between kids/new pup. It's good for you to be viewed as the food supplier (establishing dominance) but also good if you let the kids, especially the toddler, feed the pup/fill the food bowl, too. This will help the pup regard the toddler/kids as food suppliers too and thus dominance over pup, as well. If you can, (and as part of 'training') make pup sit/wait til you/kids have filled bowl. This is always a bit of a job at first as pup is used to competing with litter mates to be first at the trough and will barrel in there. In the wild, the dominant dog will feed first and make the rest wait. But it's also a good opportunity, (under your supervision of course), if pup growls over food at toddler/kids, to reprimand pup and reinforce the idea of your/kids dominance.
Blimey, didn't mean to write so much stuff and I hope it doesn't make it seem more of a big deal than it is. It's easy really.

Sorry but GardenPath the dominance theory has been discarded years ago. Mother dogs are not aggressive towards their puppies at all.

just one link of many dismissing the dominance theory

Ah, well, that's all my years of experience out the window then. lol

For what it's worth, I have a 5mth old Leonberger puppy, a 5yr old and a 10yr old. My pup is bigger than the average adult Lab already. The house is constantly full of kids of various ages, including my 1yr old niece.
So far no children have been eaten!

We do have rules though,

Leave sleeping dogs alone.
No screaming and shrieking.
No chasing of the puppy.
No grabbing.

All the kids who visit have practiced telling pup to sit before petting her (to prevent jumping up and flattening of children!)
I never leave them alone together and don't let games get ott.

Nippy puppys are asking to play. They just need to be taught better ways of asking, like getting a toy. Have a look at www.dogstardaily.com for tips on teaching pups bite inhibition and other early training tips.

On another note, Labs are a popular breed. So you'll need to select your puppy carefully for temperament.