Anyone with experience of rescue dogs re training, settling, socialisation, please help me!

[dunbreedin]

I adopted a 10 month old female crossbreed two months ago, and I don't feel like she's settling in as well as I'd like. I'm finding training really hard - we had dogs when I was a child but my parents never had them trained, and the whole concept is a bit foreign to me. We have a trainer who comes to the house once a week (for six weeks, and have two sessions to go), and when she's here it all seems to make sense, but when I'm trying to practice with Gloria (my girl), I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, and I think she senses my lack of confidence as half the time she wanders off.

This gets me down as when the trainer is here Gloria really responds to her and seems to love her. The trainer does sessions at the shelter so Gloria knew her already,, and although this is very idiotic I feel like she prefers her to me. In my more insecure moments I feel guilty about taking her away from the shelter, which had been her home since she was a tiny puppy, and bringing her here, and then not making as good a relationship with her as I'd like.

I'm hoping it's just early days/teething problems, and I'll get more confident with her, as this isn't the way I thought it would be. I'm used to dogs - I love them and have never been nervous of them, so why do I feel so darn apologetic around my own dog? I just want her to be happy and know that this is her home.

I have two sons, aged 7 and nearly 2. The older one is a bit uninterested in Gloria (he prefers things with engines) but the baby really loves her, a bit too much sometimes when they're playing raucous games and he sticks his arm in her mouth and lets her chew it..

Oh goodness, this is such a garbled post, I'm not even sure what I want to ask, or if anyone can help. Basically, is it normal to have settling in issues, and how long does it usually last?

Is it normal to feel overly apologetic/solicitous to a new dog, especially a rescue dog? (The trainer says she can see it in ways like I bend over or kneel down when giving a command, instead of standing up and being dominant, and my voice is either too soft or fast and nervous).

Is training the be all and end all? Will it give us a better relationship, or is it enough that I walk her, feed her, stroke her, throw her ball etc? Not that I want to give up training, just that I think I get too hung up on it being the only important thing. At the moment I feel like it's just hard work, that I mostly get wrong. How do I make it fun, so we both get something out of it?

If anyone can give me any advice or the benefit of your experience, Gloria and I will be eternally grateful!

Good for you for rescuing her. She is much better in a loving family home that in a shelter so get that idea out of your head.

I think you are doing everything right. It just takes time. I read that it takes 3 months at least for a rescue dog to show their true personality.

We have www.amazon.co.uk/Give-Dog-Home-Rescue-Happy/dp/0755317033/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1268 145364&sr=8-1 this book]] which is great.

We rescued our lab aged 10 months, have had him 2 years this year and love him to bits now.

Good luck.

thi book

Thanks for that second post, but I already looked on Amazon under the keywords and put it in my basket! Appreciate your reply

Right first stop panicking!

Many people over compensate when they get rescue dogs and think poor thing you have had such a bad life I will look after you for ever etc etc.

Dogs do not dwell on the past and do not make decisions to like or not like you. The reason it appears that the dog prefers the trainer is that she is givin g
clear instructions in a way that the dog is used to - not that she likes her better.

So first be confident your dog is lucky to be with you and you have done the right thing in getting her out of kennels. That goes without question and you do not need to doubt that.

The others will now know exactly what I am going to say . Get a clicker and get clicker training! The advantage of clicker training is that is does not matter what your voice is like so the dog will clearly understand when they have done something right.

Dogs do react better to clear instructions, I do not feel you have to be dominant or domineering in your instructions but clear and succinct. Talk to her as if talking to you DC's.

Don't give up it does take time but enjoy your new dog and the relationship you can have with her.

quick post as on way out but as a general rule i find rescue dogs take 3 months to really settle in adn i believe before this time they should spend as much time as possible with new owner but no formal training as such, this is what i do with the rescues i have, and i am currently 6 months in to the last rescue dog.

it also sounds like you are putting too muh emotion into gloria, you have to try to step back from all that as she doesn't process and think the same as you or i so she will never feel grateful to you for rescuing her IYWIM.

it took me at least six months to really bond with my rescue dog and vice versa , to be honest there were many times during those first months where i considered sending him back , but six years later im really glad i stuck it out

Hi, I have a 17 month ESS (Springer Spaniel). He was a rescue pup too and we've had him since he was 12 weeks old.

He had 2 or 3 fosters homes before we had him, he was a very screamy, whiny pup and drove his first foster home to call the RSPCA Inspector after only one night to come and get him as they couldn't stand the noise.

He still has his issues but he's my best boy. One of which is that he finds it hard to look/ focus on me when we are training - even though at home, he has to be where I am. I am teaching him to 'watch' me and it's working slowly. We did the puppy classes and passed our Grade 1 Gundog course last year. We are now onto our Grade 2 and he's doing very well.

Your point about bonding and settling is something that I find fascinating. This may sound bonkers but ....

One way to help you both bond is to go somewhere quiet, maybe out in the countryside somewhere with no temptations to bugger off (you may feel safer using a long line lead so youhave some security), and just sit, just the two of you. Sit together on the floor or on a log etc. Let Gloria explore and let her come back and forth as and when she feels she wants to. She'll have a sniff about, maybe wander a little. Allow yourself a couple of hours, take a flask, some sandwiches and treats for Gloria. Talk to her (even though she'll only hear Blah, Blah, Blah, but your tone and voice is the important thing. Fuss her quietly and tell her she's a good girl, a clever girl.

Hopefully what you will find is that after a while she'll just want to sit with you. The bonding has started

Good Luck ! Gloria is very lucky to have such a kind home.

Read some good books about relationships with doggies and positive reinforcement training, like this, this and this

I find bonding with my dog, who after all is a dog and not a person, so behaves in all kinds of annoying canine ways, sometimes quite hard, and these books have really helped me to focus on what's important, and how to get the basis for a good relationship that makes training, and living with, the dog much easier.