New pers and young children

[Aussieng]

Hello everyone - looking for some thoughts/a little guidance please. Sorry if this is long but I want to get all the factors in.

DH and I have been considering getting a dog for some time now. We have (or had - see below) a pretty active lifestyle (cycling albeit not the hell for leather stuff, just a good few weekend miles through country parks & canal paths and some shorer rides mid-week, usually ending up at a pub somewhere) and have chosen a dog which (when fully grown and developped) will fit in with this lifestyle. Planning to have children we also did quite a lot of research on child friendly dogs.

Anyway, we were hoping to get a dog at the beginning of this year but being in the early stages of pregnancy and suffering with extremely bad morning sickness this was put on hold as I was struggling to function! Due to problems with my husbands business he also took on additional work over this period and consequently has no longer been home based (something which we had counted on in terms of dog welfare).

I am now 20 weeks pregnant (due mid July) and wanted some thoughts on when to consider getting a dog (we will be looking to get a puppy). Obviously I will be at home for 8/9 months with the baby but will then go back to work probably full time but maybe 4 days per week. From that point on DH will revert to being at home through the day but will do some work weekends and some nights when I am home so the dog (and baby too obviously!) will have a lot of companionship.

I had thought about getting a puppy around the start of Mat Leave (commences 6 weeks pre due date) so that it is a bit settled in by the time the baby arrives but have read some thoughts along the lines of "wait at least until the baby is sleeping through the night because you don't know how exhausting it will be to have a newborn and a puppy" etc etc etc and some thoughts that go along the lines of wait until the child is at least 8/9 years old. I'm astonished by the latter suggestion but can totally see the sense in the former.

FWIW DH and I both grew up with dogs - in my case admittedly mainly miniature Yorkies but DH grew up with Collies which were borderline working dogs and neither of us see the issue with having young children with dogs (we both valued having dogs as part of our home when young) but are much less knowledgeable about dogs(especially puppies) with newborns and so it is this aspect that I would really appreciate some thoughts on.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

Oh God - I didn't even manage to get the spelling correct in the title {blush]

Should of course be new pets

I have had dogs all my life but would not, in a month of Sundays, recommend getting a puppy when you have a newborn. You would simply need to be in 2 places at the same time, most of the time.

I would wait until the child is at least 3, but preferably a bit older: you want the child walking (dogs can find the transition from baby to crawling/walking toddler very difficult) and you really want your child potty trained before you are running out into the garden every half an hour to toilet train the puppy.

well I have never had a little puppy(got our dog aged 6 months) ,but I have had 6 newborns of the human variety LOL, and there is NO WAY I would contemplate taking on a new dog,especially not a puppy,with a new baby!!!IMO it would be WAY too much. I would definitely wait till the baby is older, possibly at least 18 months, or ideally older. That said our youngest is just coming up to 2 , he was 18 months when we got Bella,and that has been fine,but then again she was already housetrained etc...Also at his age there is still a LOT of teaching him how to behave towards the dog, repeatedly,daily,whereas the older children learn more quickly! and the only other downside is walks when using a buggy (even my trusty 3 wheeler!) can be more awkward-we got stuck in the mud AGAIN today LOL so a child old enough to walk reliably independantly could be an advantage.

Please don't get a dog until you're household is a bit more settled! It's really common for pregnant women to get puppies and kittens, then a few months later they are tired and frustrated with the animal which they simply don't have the time or energy for

our dogs were here and established before we had the kids, but it still put a huge extra burden on me to bundle up a newborn in the pouring rain/ snow and go for a 3 mile hike every day. Dogs don't understand that you can't walk them that day because you have been up all night, or that the baby is sick, and it can all get very stressful trying to make sure baby and animal are both well-catered for. In some ways I was envious of my post-natal friends who didn't have dogs- they could meet-up in the mornings, attend post-natal groups, baby massage etc, and I couldn't because I needed that time to get everyone kitted out and get out with dogs. They didn't come down to a kitchen covered in diarrhoea after a hellish night with the baby either!!

Think very hard! My old dog is nearly 15 now, and my younger one 10, while my kids are 6, 4 and 2. we've just booked a holiday, and had to budget another £320 for kennels- money is another major factor that can suddenly seem in short supply when you have kids! if you're used to 2 salaries and a DINKY lifestyle it can be a big shock, and dogs can be very expensive at times

Yes - I guess maybe me missed our window of opportunity whilst we were trying to be all responsible last year and decide what to get.

I'm not too worried about the finances Jooly. Not that we're loaded or anything [wistful emoticon] but DH orignally came to the UK on a fiance visa so we had over a year of him being not permitted to work then trying to find work then finding work which rarely paid due to financial difficulties of the company before things finally settled down on that score just recently. We're certainly not used to the DINKY lifestyle and with new baby fortunately has come DH's new job (which we have deliberately not allowed ourselves to get used to and just absorb into our lifestyle or spending habits). So hopefully one new job is greater than the sum of one new baby IYSWIM. Also we already have cats (10 and 11 year old, mine since kittens) and chickens (hence the desire for a puppy which can be socialised properly with the existing brood) so are used to budgetting for vetinary care, additional holiday cover etc etc etc.

I totally accept the points re the newborn/puppies being too much work all in one go and the point (Bella) re the transition from toddling to walking has struck a chord too. Thanks. It's a bit disappointing the prospect of waiting 3 years or so (especially if we have another LO in due course) espcially since we both were in families with dogs (not puppies I accept) from birth.

Thanks for the thoughts. Will ponder some more.

I'd wait untill older than three tbh. Maybe 5. I am having terrible trouble getting dd2, who is almost three to understand that she must never, never disturb the dog while he is sleeping, or try and ride him like a horse, or run towrds him screeching 'MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE' at the top of her voice, anytime anyone else tries to pet him.

She is reprimanded and stopped from doing things immediately, but she just doesn't seem to understand.

It's interesting what you say Shiny and OFM about the LO's interaction with your dogs. DH and I don't remember being like this with our dogs as children - do you think this was because the dogs were already there when we were born or do you think our memories are at fault?

I dunno. I got a puppy when I pregnant with dd1 and she was the same as dd2 but the dog was a lot more tolerant of her and she learned a lot more easily than dd2 has not to do it.

Maybe it's down to the personality of the child? I always had dogs growing up too and I can't remember doing this, but I am sure I must have. I know my youngest sister did it, but the dog we had at the time was so placid it just put up with it.

I had a dog when dd2 was born. Niether of them have been without a dog for more than a couple of months.

I think it is just their age tbh.My just turned 4 year old is fine with her. Understands about when to leave her alone etc...but my almost 2 yr old is just so into everything at the moment,and can't really fully understand,so has to be reminded often. I am not sure you would fully remember how you were when you were 2 or under...it may have been the same for your parents but you don't remember.
That's not to say it isn't manageable though. I am really careful with Ds2 and Bella,and work all the time at teaching him how to behave with her, and actually they do seem to be the best of friends. It is lovely to watch them pottering round getting into mischief together!I'm sure it enriches all the dc lives to have a dog. But it does take alot of vigilance with younger dc imho.