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She wasn't just a dog....

26 replies

AnAngelWithin · 19/02/2010 16:40

She was MY dog, and I miss her so much already. I was going to put this in berevement, but i couldn't see any other animal related topics so thought I had better post here. I know its probably daft, but I feel like i need to let it out somewhere. My hormones are raging at 27 weeks pregnant anyway.

Lucy, our beloved labrador, went to sleep on tuesday. We got her, aged about 8-9 years, just 3 years ago from another MNer (hideehi IIRC) We got her into great shape, then she had a lump removed off her elbow that had been there for a while before even we had her. Then mammary tumours appeared, so a massive operation of a mammary strip and spay last may was done. Then in December, the lump on her elbow started growing back. On the 11th January, she went in to have the lump removed again, but an xray (precautionary really as she had been coughing for a few days) showed her chest was full of tumours. The vet said she probably couldn't survive the anaesthetic. Also that it was a case of they didn't know what would get to her first...the chest tumours, or the one on her leg going septic.

So since then, anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, diuretics and steroids proved not to be helping much, if anything making her worse, the diuretics were making her incontinent, and I watched my proud old lady gradually get worse and lose her dignity and lose a lot of weight. The tumour on her leg got quite big and started ulcerating in 3 places. She was still eating, but miserable. Coughing a lot and couldn't go for a walk. So tuesday we made the decision to let her go to sleep. After consulting the vet, we brought her home for a few hours for the kids to spend some time with her. We felt awful but we told them that we were taking her back for another operation and to say goodbye to her as we had got a friend to sit with them while me and DH took her. We wanted to be with her. They had trouble findind a vein and Lucy did start to get a bit on edge,and at one point i even wanted to yell to them to stop and take her back home. A matter of seconds was all it took, and in the end it was peaceful and while she still had some dignity. She was a very proud old lady and she deserved the dignity. We will get her ashes back next week.

For 3 years we were blessd to have her in our lives. She was such a good girl and never asked for anything, I just wished I could have made her better. The kids are upset, but are getting on with things, it's me who's been the big baby crying non stopm unable to eat or sleep. I wish she had lasted to see the baby arrive. I keep looking at her empty bed and I hate it, but at the same time, I can't bear to move it or get rid of it. It will be even worse after half term when the kids are all back at school and she's not there to talk to. I keep wondering if I could have given her another week. Another day even.

I love and miss you so much Lucy. We all do x x x x

OP posts:
5inthebed · 19/02/2010 16:44

So sorry for your loss

Bella32 · 19/02/2010 16:47

I am so, so sorry

Of course Lucy wasn't just a dog - she was a hugely loved companion and a fundamental part of your family. Your time with her was too short.

It takes a long time to get over the death of a dog like Lucy: give yourself time and be very gentle on yourself x

Picklepants · 19/02/2010 16:52

So sorry for your loss

You're not being daft at all. Pets are part of the family and when they go they leave a huge hole. But it sounds like she was only going to get worse and, as horrible and gut wrenching as it is, you did the right thing giving her a peaceful, dignified send off.

AnAngelWithin · 19/02/2010 16:53

I had a sympathy card from the vet today as well, which reduced me to a blubbering wreck!!!

OP posts:
abride · 19/02/2010 16:55

I'm so sorry. When you lose a very loved dog it really hurts.

Bella32 · 19/02/2010 18:56

Cry as much as you need to. It's completely natural.

Dogs are buggers really. I love them more than just about anything but they don't half mess us up when they go

Vallhala · 19/02/2010 21:37

I'm so sorry and my heart is with you this evening.

You wouldn't have deserved her if you didn't grieve for her and you're not alone in sobbing bucketfuls for a much missed dog.

Don't be hard on yourself, you made the bravest most selfless decision anyone could.

I hope there are sunnier days ahead for you very soon.

Val x

AnAngelWithin · 20/02/2010 13:07

thank you all. I am really struggling with poor dd1. She is 8 and keeps sitting my her bed sobbing. I feel like maybe I should move the bed now. Or will that make dd worse?

OP posts:
tulpe · 20/02/2010 13:27

So sorry for your loss. What a difficult time for you and your family.

Why not get DD1 to help you put Lucy's things away? You could put her toys in a special box, together with any favourite photos of her, to create a memory box. It would give you the opportunity to share your favourite stories about her and have a little weep together.

coffeeinbed · 20/02/2010 13:34

Of course she wasn't just a dog. She was part of your family.
A cuddle with DD would help both.

ilovesprouts · 20/02/2010 13:46

i know how you feel i had my dog who was 18 years old put to sleep about 6 years ago , i was with her to the end and i cried for days ,said id never get another dog.... i did

beautifulgirls · 20/02/2010 16:17

It is a sad time when you lose your close friend, no matter how clear it is that the decision was the right one. Cry, talk about her and don't feel silly - she wasn't just a dog, she was your family too. It does get easier in time hugs

Malificence · 20/02/2010 19:07

I know just how you're feeling Angel, we had our beloved dog put to sleep today and I feel like my heart has been ripped out .
We've never known a time in this house when he wasn't with us. I can practically feel him lying pressed up against me while I'm sitting with the laptop on my knee.

It was just the hardest thing in the world for us to let him go.

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 20/02/2010 20:23

AnAngelWithin and Malificence I know how you feel. There is a dog shaped hole in your family and it is heartbreaking.
They were lucky dogs to have families who cared so much about them.
When my JRT was put to sleep I read an Emily Dickensen quote where she had said 'my little dog , a heartbeat at my feet' and it made me cry and cry. They really do become your best friend and family members.

wastwinsetandpearls · 20/02/2010 20:29

I am so sorry, we have a springer who is so much part of our family.

Malificence · 22/02/2010 14:49

AnAngel, how are you today? I hope you're coping better than me.

If you're anything like me you're an utter mess of conflicting emotions.

The last photo I had of my dog was from xmas and it shocked me to see how much he had deteriorated in a few short weeks, so I know we did absolutely the right thing but it's of no comfort whatsoever to me at the moment.

We were snowed in yesterday so we put on our coats and walking boots and went over the hills, it was beautiful in the snow and the sunshine and we just sat on a bench and held hands and cried over losing our little old man.

I've managed to find lots of pictures of him in happier times and have scanned them and made a nice album for my laptop and phone, I've also created and ordered a photo fridge magnet so he will always be in his favourite place, close to the fridge.
I know it's for the best, I would have worried sick about him when we went away next month but at the moment I just want to run away, my house no longer feels "right" and I could happily move.

AnAngelWithin · 23/02/2010 09:23

Hello all. Thank you for your kind messages. Malificence, I am so sorry for your loss too.

Am not coping well at all really. Kids went back to school today and I have just come home to awul silence. Nobody to talk to. No Lucy to wag her tail at me and look for a biscuit.

I know what you mean, I was looking at photos of Lucy from 6 months ago and a photo I took of her the week before she went to sleep and the difference was unreal. Made me think really. I've made a file up of Lucys photos on my laptop (and backed them up onto disk!! TWICE"!!) and I have found a lovely one of her and the kids that was taken last summer. I am going to see about getting it enlarged and framed for in the lounge.

OP posts:
MrsL123 · 23/02/2010 10:47

Somehow I managed to completely missed this - I'm so sorry for your losses AnAngelWithin and Malificence. I only have to think about one of ours going and it has me in tears, I think everyone on here understands how you're feeling. I like to think of the Rainbow Bridge poem in these circumstances, I find it really comforting to think of them in a happy place.

Definitely get the picture of Lucy enlarged and framed, it'll be a lovely reminder of the happy times you had together. It sounds like she had a wonderful life and was a very lucky dog

Bella32 · 23/02/2010 11:00

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time of it, Angel - and to Malifience.

It's incredibly hard without a dog in the house when you've been used to one - that's why I always have a few

It will take time - it is only right you should feel this way, but in time you'll be able to think happily of all your lovely memories, with only a small tear or two to wipe away.

FatBoySwim · 23/02/2010 17:48

oh i am so sorry angel and Mali.

AnAngelWithin · 26/02/2010 09:53

thank you all.

hopefully going to go pick Lucys ashes up today and bring her back home. DD1 just wants here back here. Shes been a little better the past couple of days. I told her she could write a letter to lucy and we can put it in a pot and plant a rose in with it

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2010 23:34

sorry for your loss

2shoes · 26/02/2010 23:35

so sorry for the loss of your dear friend

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 26/02/2010 23:37

so sorry for your loss. I still miss my Toby dog, 20 years on, so I understand x x x

solo · 26/02/2010 23:45

I'm really sorry for your loss. Your post has me in tears. I've lost 3 dogs and two have had to be put to sleep ~ like you, I had to be with them. You know in your heart of hearts that you have made the kindest decision for Lucy.
I too left the bed down and the bowls for a while. You can put them away when the time is right for you and the family.
Be kind to yourself. Dogs are very definitely members of the family and leave a big space when they leave. Allow yourself to grieve, but know that it does get easier.

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