A question about dogs in park etiquette

[Romanarama]

I'm having such a lovely time walking my pup in the park every morning, and so's he. It's a dog-walkers' time, and he plays beautifully with the other dogs and so far has returned every single time I've called him, so all good.

But there's one woman with a 6-month old very bouncy Bernese mountain dog, who's a lovely pup but plays very boisterously with mine. She's 2x bigger than him, and it's too much for him. She bowls him over and he tries to join in, but sometimes cries in pain or fear, not sure which, and today snapped back at her very aggressively at one point. He also runs to me for safety which is terrifying as she has twice come smashing into him and me, when careering after him (he's 17kg, she must be around 30kg).

Anyway, I can't get away as she comes after us, she doesn't return to the owner when called and the stupid woman owner won't put her on a lead. I said to her that my dog was overwhelmed, and she made out I was being all ridiculous and pfp about it, saying things like 'oh, isn't he used to other dogs then,' or 'of course she wants to play like this like she plays with all the other puppies,' etc.

I was totally this morning. Am I being over-protective or do you think it would be reasonable to say: 'your dog is hurting my dog and you do not appear to be able to recall her, so please put her on a lead so I can take my dog away without her chasing him'?

She really knocks him flying and then leaps on top of him and stands there so he can't get away, while he whimpers and tries to get out and back to me. She's not aggressive at all, but seems pretty out of control, and is just a massive puppy.

The owner is being very unreasonable. She should have her dog under control. I would be mortified if i were her.

Say something.

She shouldn't let her dog off the lead if it doesn't come back. I would just shout at her to get her dog back when it happens, but then I do get rather aggressive when I am out with my dogs.

Of course she needs to keep this big pup under control. We sometimes get worried about big dogs playing with our dachshund - they don't mean any harm but they are just too big. Most owners of big dogs are perfectly reasonable about this.

Our last dog was trodden on by a boisterous young Boxer, it hurt his eye badly enough we had to take him to the vet. Ever afterwards, he hated every other innocent Boxer he came across, so then the tables were turned and we had to make sure we kept him under control else believe me, there would have been a lot of bitten-bollocked Boxers staggering around

She is wrong but I doubt you will be able to make her see it. I bet other dog owners have siad things to her as well and she is ignoring all of you. I would put your dog on the lead and take him away to play although appreciate this spoils your enjoyment.

She is being totally selfish and a very bad dog owner as her dog is clearly not properly trained and, if she allows it to continue, her dog will always assume that this is acceptable behaviour. Unfortunately far too many people buy dogs without realising the responsibility that goes with it - it's just like having a child.

Grimma!

Thanks all for your support, I will be much more direct with her next time, though wonder whether I'll get anywhere.

butadream I've tried putting him on a lead to take him away, but she leaped on him and nearly dislocated my shoulder, so I'm def not doing that again!

I did feel that her attitude was a bit like letting your 10yr old wrestle a 6yr old to the ground 'because it's just a boys' game'.

the pup leaped, not the owner (in case not clear )

You're quite right, Romanarama, and the woman is being very unreasonable. I would try having a word again, in slightly firmer tones, but be fully prepared for her to dismiss your concerns again. If that happens then avoid her - not right, I know, but better than allowing your pup to be hurt or become fearful of other dogs as a result.

Keep us posted.

The woman is being stupid but don't let that ruin your puppy. If your puppy can't get the other dog to stay away by growling the next stage will have to be something more - so I would at all costs make sure I did not meet this woman on our walks.

You will always find the dog walkers who say he only wants to play as the dog grabs yours around the neck, or he has never done that before (except she told you that last week!) or he doesn't like black/white/yellow dogs!

My best training technique is to make sure I don't meet then again

tbh I don't think it's quite as simple as just expecting her to keep her dog on a lead.

I agree that all dogs should be under control when off lead, but this is just a puppy, and in reality the only way it is going to learn to socialize with other dogs properly is if it is allowed to do so.

So rather than demand she keep her dog on a lead, I would try to communicate with her on a more sympathetic level:

"oh what a lovely dog, it must be difficult to get enough exercise for such a big dog. You must worry that he'll knock over the wrong dog one day and get bitten."

I don't really want her to keep her on a lead, but I would like her to put her on one to give me the chance to get away! It's a nice puppy really - I love those big shaggy mountain dogs and would have thought of getting one maybe if they didn't have such short life expectancy (8 yrs I think, ). But the woman just didn't seem to get when it was time to enforce a stop to the whole rough and tumble. I think that's what I'll tell her if I bump into her - bound to happen .

The problem with avoiding her is that it's a lovely park just across the street - really couldn't be more perfect for me - and she's been there every time the last few days. It's a reasonable size, so I'll keep an eye out and try to keep to the other side.